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Old 08-20-2013, 12:06 AM
43 posts, read 47,766 times
Reputation: 35


Five months ago, I hired a nanny off of care.com. On her profile the wage that she wanted to be paid was $10 an hour--she also wanted the flexibility to bring her two young daughters(age 3, and 1) with her to the job. When we interviewed and I saw her interact with my son(a toddler under age 2) I saw that she was really good with him and had a lot of knowledge and me and her immediately formed a bond. It was at that point where she said she would be willing to go as low as $12 an hour but really preferred $15 an hour. So me, the father of my child, and my father agreed to come up with the funds to pay her $15 an hour. At the time I was a waitress and I was less than 40 hours a week, so she never exceeded $600 a week in payment. But I'm starting a new job with steady hours, and there's a good chance that I'll need her for up to 50 hours.

That being said, I'm in the same "mom's club" group as her. And found out that she charged a much lower rate for other families she had watched a couple of months before she became my son's nanny. For instance she only charged one family with two young boys $10 an hour to watch there kids(a baby and a five year old) and bring her girls.

I was talking it over with both my father and my son's father and we all agreed that we really can no longer afford to pay her $15 an hour. Though we all agree that she's valuable, we also agree that my son is not getting the same one on one attention that he would get if she didn't have her girls. The going rate in my area for a nanny to WATCH one child is $12-$20. Since she's watching my son, plus her two girls I wanted to settle for a weekly flat rate that was fair and reasonable for her and me(so that she is satisfied with meeting her financial goals, and one that we all can afford).

She didn't take this news that well. While she is open to it and willing to compromise, I can tell that she is slightly disappointed. What I don't understand is that she charges a low rate for other families but why not mine especially when I explained the recent financial constraints that have came into play which are why we can no longer afford to pay her the $15 an hour rate. But we are willing to do even $12 an hour, or a weekly flat rate of $525-550 plus paid vacations, and the same paycheck every week even when I don't use her services. She is not taxed on this at all--she asked us not to, so she's paid under the table as well.

Is it asking too much to lower the payrate? What is reasonable in this situation?

For instance if my toddler was getting one on one care I'd be more willing to try to make it work for the $15 an hour rate, but with her bringing her two girls(one girl who is somewhat of a bully at times) I don't know what is reasonable...
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Old 08-20-2013, 12:10 AM
43 posts, read 47,766 times
Reputation: 35
Oh and she doesn't have to do any cleaning, etc.
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Old 08-20-2013, 06:51 AM
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,214 posts, read 37,829,922 times
Reputation: 73990
Are you paying her $10 an hour like she said on her profile? No.

I would have told her to leave the minute she started talking about $12 and $15 an hour. She pulled a bait-and-switch on you.

The fact that she also brings her own kids would be another deal-breaker for me. I assume they are in your house and eating your food too?
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:12 AM
Status: "I used to have a lead foot, but now it's aluminum." (set 21 days ago)
Location: Lancaster, SC
5,403 posts, read 3,703,511 times
Reputation: 6843
You went out of your way to accomodate her including paying her five dollars an hour more than you originally wanted to. Now you realize that was a mistake. At this point, it seems like you need to take a hardline approach. Now you've already said she could bring her kids over; I wouldn't go back on that. But I think you need to tell her you simply cannot afford what you're paying her anymore and a deal needs to be reached or it is time that both parties move on.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:56 AM
4,541 posts, read 9,506,753 times
Reputation: 3848
I agree that it seems like a bait and switch. Maybe others paid less because they didn't fall for that. Do you know why she stopped nannying for the other family?

I'd stick to my guns and if she's not okay with it then move on.
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Old 08-20-2013, 08:19 AM
11,230 posts, read 9,246,618 times
Reputation: 14654
Add me to the bait and switch camp.
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Old 08-20-2013, 08:29 AM
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,632,649 times
Reputation: 5534
I would look for a younger woman doing it just starting out. You will be able to pay one far less than this lady.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:13 AM
3,084 posts, read 6,473,591 times
Reputation: 4430
First question is do you have a written contract with this woman? If not, you should. All terms of service can be renegotiated at any time for any reason.

Second question is why did you agree to pay her under the table? This puts YOU at risk of tax fraud because she is considered a household employee when she is caring for your child in your house and you are not paying taxes on her wages.

Third question is who told you about her pay from this other family? If it was the family who told you, did you discuss the situation with the nanny? Perhaps the work situation was completely different than yours and the work didn't merit higher pay. Perhaps the reason she left the family was because of the lower pay. Bottom line the situation with one family should have no bearing at all on the situation with another. Each family's need are different and the pay should vary accordingly.

In regards to your actual question about asking for a lower pay rate being fair....basically, to your nanny it is not. It doesn't matter what her profile said because you negotiated with her in interview and agreed to the higher pay and have been paying it. She did not agree to the lower pay and then demand higher.

With a change in your work hours of course there will be a change in hers and most people would expect their pay to also increase with an increase in hours and you are wanting to decrease her pay.

Having said all that...it is your right to renegotiate service terms at any point in any way and it is her right to walk away from a newly proposed agreement that isn't to her liking.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:18 AM
35,121 posts, read 37,898,138 times
Reputation: 61848
First I would not allow anyone to bring their own children when she is being paid to care for my child.
After that if she listed $10.00 per hour then she would have been paid $10.00 per hour.
I would look for someone who has no children, children in school or grown children so your child is getting the proper care and attention.
Also, there is no way I would pay her "under the table". If I have to pay taxes on my wages then she should pay taxes on her wages as well.
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Old 08-20-2013, 10:29 AM
606 posts, read 724,609 times
Reputation: 1256
I guess I'm in the other camp because I don't see why she would have been obligated to work for $10 an hour for you just because she had for other people in the past. She asked for $10 in her profile, but she negotiated a higher rate with you and you agreed to it. When I went to look for another job (not a nanny) I looked for ones that offered me more money. I wouldn't leave a job to take the same rate somewhere else. I don't think that should be different just because it's a nanny position.
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