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My stepson, whom I am raising as my own is pressuring me into having a sibling. So is my SO. Basically my SO says the little boy needs a sibling & so does the little one. I am not willing to succumb to swelling feet, stretchmarks, giving up wine etc. On the other hand, when S0 & I pass I realise that my little boy would benefit from a sibling. Personally I do NOT want to go through a pregnancy, which is the reason why I chose to go with a SO with a child & a deceased spouse in the first place then I can get a kid & no ""baby mama drama"".
Do I have the obligation that my ""son"" gets a sibling because he & daddy want one or do I have to stand my ground?
Other thing I forgot to mention is that my health tests look good on paper yet I'm always as sick as a dog. I mentioned in another thread I was always healthy till I went on the Mirena. I wonder if its the cause.
Since I'm not DESPERATE to have a kid, it would kill me to have a disabled kid, which is a possibility seeing I'm always sick.
Please help!!
In summary, does it make sense to have another kid not so much that you want one, but that you want your kid to have siblings? In a nutshell I think this is what my post is about.
Last edited by angrymillionaire; 08-27-2013 at 05:47 PM..
Do not have a child. You're not emotionally or mentally ready to take this on. A step child cannot force you to have a child. You refer to your " SO" , not your husband which means that the deeper commitment to marriage is not even there yet.
Stand your ground. This is not the right time for you to have a child. Maybe your thoughts will change in the future. You'll know it if it happens. In the meantime, avoid pregnancy.
My stepson, whom I am raising as my own is pressuring me into having a sibling. So is my SO. Basically my SO says the little boy needs a sibling & so does the little one. I am not willing to succumb to swelling feet, stretchmarks, giving up wine etc. On the other hand, when S0 & I pass I realise that my little boy would benefit from a sibling. Personally I do NOT want to go through a pregnancy, which is the reason why I chose to go with a SO with a child & a deceased spouse in the first place then I can get a kid & no ""baby mama drama"".
Do I have the obligation that my ""son"" gets a sibling because he & daddy want one or do I have to stand my ground?
Other thing I forgot to mention is that my health tests look good on paper yet I'm always as sick as a dog. I mentioned in another thread I was always healthy till I went on the Mirena. I wonder if its the cause.
Since I'm not DESPERATE to have a kid, it would kill me to have a disabled kid, which is a possibility seeing I'm always sick.
Please help!!
In summary, does it make sense to have another kid not so much that you want one, but that you want your kid to have siblings? In a nutshell I think this is what my post is about.
There are several parts to your question.
1) there is value in giving a first child a sibling. I won't get into the specifics of my family, but I think siblings are valuable. After you are gone, they still have each other.
2) Not wanting to deal with stretch marks and giving up wine are not good reasons to not have a baby. Then again, that statement says a lot about you and your mentality that make me think you should not have a baby.
3) If this is important to your SO, perhaps you should part ways so you can find people who are a better match.
4) how would you being sick cause you to have a disabled child?
5) no, of course you are not obligated to have a baby if you don't want one. See # 2.
ETA I had some issues with my first pregnancy, birth, postpartum depression, and the child himself. I wasn't aching to do it all over again, but I did because I wanted him to have a sibling.
You mentioned Mirena... isn't there a recall or warning regarding that?
No, you're not obligated to have a child for ANY reason. If you don't want to, don't. Of course, your SO may deem it deal breaker. Be prepared for that.
How long have you been together? Do you want to get married?
I wouldn't do it. I would also tell your "SO" that his child discussing the two of you having another baby is inappropriate, specially if you have said no already.
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