How to deal with a pregnant teen (childcare, teens, infant)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You don't know how many times we told her that she will be dealing with all of them for the next 20 years. The response was "I know".
I told her the options. Pros and cons of each.
When one is adult enough to decide to have a child, they need to be adult enough to deal with the ramifications of their decisions.
Part of that discussion was the very real possibility they would not remain together. Again "I know" from both.
I never threw it in her face. Don't assume. I reminded her that this was her decision.
I couldn't possibly warn her of this. I have no experience with it. None at all.
My mom didn't deal with any of this. My father was completely out of the picture until I was 17 and out of the house. I am still with my husband. No issues there to reflect on and relay advice from.
The fact remains that she is in her current position and can only control herself. She needs to focus on what she is doing and not them. That's the best I have for her.
She tried making her sisters feel bad if they don't want to watch the baby while she's at work. No way. Not happening and reality check time for sure. They don't mind the occasional but to watch her all day several days on end is not their responsibility.
Don't sweat it, Jersey. It is excellent advice, and now that the day to day reality is setting in, sometimes it's good to get these sorts or reminders.
I was only a couple of years older when my husband and I had our daughter. Our parents also reminded us on occasion that we choose all of this. It is a good reminder, because it reminds the new parents that they have control rather than feeling that all of this just happened to them.
She tried making her sisters feel bad if they don't want to watch the baby while she's at work. No way. Not happening and reality check time for sure. They don't mind the occasional but to watch her all day several days on end is not their responsibility.
What? Your oldest may be 19, but unfortunately, she is obviously still a child. Her sisters have willingly given up a lot so that she would not be in a shelter. I hope you sat her down and explained to her that none of you owe her ANYTHING - that you are all doing it for love of her and the baby - and that she has no right whatsoever to expect that her sisters or you will babysit, unless you offer to do it. Then explain to her that she has to find a job that she can do while taking the baby with her. There's just no other way. She can't earn enough to do more than pay for daycare or a sitter otherwise. I thought that she was a nanny to a couple of kids who were no longer infants or toddlers? Can't she take the baby with her to that job? If she can't, she needs to find another. She cannot expect free childcare from you and the rest of the family. Of course, if you want to, that's a different story, but I don't think you should let your younger daughters do it even if they said they wanted to. It's just not fair for them to have that kind of responsibility at that age, just because their sister chose to have a baby.
Then explain to her that she has to find a job that she can do while taking the baby with her. There's just no other way. She can't earn enough to do more than pay for daycare or a sitter otherwise. I thought that she was a nanny to a couple of kids who were no longer infants or toddlers? Can't she take the baby with her to that job? If she can't, she needs to find another.
It's unrealistic to expect her to only rely on employment that allows her to take the baby with her. That will really hold her back. She needs to secure childcare and get subsidized childcare if necessary. This is a perfect example of why she needs to collect child support. I agree that she should not expect free childcare from anyone. The sooner she learns how to financially support her child, the better it will be for her and the baby. It's right to expect her sisters to watch their niece for any amount of time.
If the mob feels she can leave the baby with her sisters for the day, there was no reason to say the fob can't have the baby alone at his house. All that talk about the baby being too young to be away from her mother before 3 months was just blowing smoke.
It's unrealistic to expect her to only rely on employment that allows her to take the baby with her. That will really hold her back. She needs to secure childcare and get subsidized childcare if necessary. This is a perfect example of why she needs to collect child support. I agree that she should not expect free childcare from anyone. The sooner she learns how to financially support her child, the better it will be for her and the baby. It's right to expect her sisters to watch their niece for any amount of time.
If the mob feels she can leave the baby with her sisters for the day, there was no reason to say the fob can't have the baby alone at his house. All that talk about the baby being too young to be away from her mother before 3 months was just blowing smoke.
No. For when she does go back to work. Not right now. She's not going anywhere yet.
Her person she nannies for has someone until the girl leaves for vacation the 2nd week of August and goes back to school immediately after.
I thought she was allowed to take the baby with her to work. What happened to that? Did her boss change her mind?
Her boss is thinking of putting the child in day care until 3:00. My daughter would need to pick her up from there after and watch her until 7:00-8:00.
Her boss is thinking of putting the child in day care until 3:00. My daughter would need to pick her up from there after and watch her until 7:00-8:00.
I don't think the woman changed her mind.[/
That's a great schedule for your daughter to go to school during the day. Has she started to look at daycare centers for when she has classes so she knows how much money to save for it? Why does she want her sisters daughter to watch the baby while she's at work if she can take the baby with her? Is she just getting burned out like all moms get in the first few months?
That's a great schedule for your daughter to go to school during the day. Has she started to look at daycare centers for when she has classes so she knows how much money to save for it? Why does she want her sisters daughter to watch the baby while she's at work if she can take the baby with her? Is she just getting burned out like all moms get in the first few months?
I think she's wanting it for a couple days a week.
The child care center at her school charges a nominal fee. She will be able to do it.
I'll talk to her more about it soon. I was just very angry when she tried to guilt her sisters into watching the baby. You just don't do that.
Don't sweat it, Jersey. It is excellent advice, and now that the day to day reality is setting in, sometimes it's good to get these sorts or reminders.
I was only a couple of years older when my husband and I had our daughter. Our parents also reminded us on occasion that we choose all of this. It is a good reminder, because it reminds the new parents that they have control rather than feeling that all of this just happened to them.
Very true. It is a good reminder -- and may help her realize that if she's not careful, she could end up with a sibling for the baby and even more issues.
And yes -- they are in control, they aren't helpless victims of fate, they made choices and will make more choices. But also -- there is nothing as nice as a baby -- everyone should want to spend some time with that baby - I was expected to watch my younger sibling.
There are some families here where you almost can't tell who is the actual mother -- someone is holding or playing with a baby at all times -- and they're all happy to do do so. A baby will go from one uncle to the aunt, then to the other uncle, the grandmother, the grandfather, and round and round again -- everyone loves and enjoys the baby.
Very true. It is a good reminder -- and may help her realize that if she's not careful, she could end up with a sibling for the baby and even more issues.
And yes -- they are in control, they aren't helpless victims of fate, they made choices and will make more choices. But also -- there is nothing as nice as a baby -- everyone should want to spend some time with that baby - I was expected to watch my younger sibling.
There are some families here where you almost can't tell who is the actual mother -- someone is holding or playing with a baby at all times -- and they're all happy to do do so. A baby will go from one uncle to the aunt, then to the other uncle, the grandmother, the grandfather, and round and round again -- everyone loves and enjoys the baby.
I totally disagree that the mob's siblings should be required to babysit. Their niece is not a younger sibling.
I certainly watched my little sister, but I was never expected to watch my niece who was born when I was 15 years old. I babysat a few times for my sister and her husband to go to the movies. It was my choice, and I was glad to do it. If I had been expected to provide weekly childcare while my sister worked, I would have said Hell No! That's totally over the top.
The mob's siblings don't need their childhoods changed because their sister had a baby. Jersey's daughters are actively involved in sports. They don't have time to be regular caregivers of their sister's baby. They can learn their lessons by simply watching how their sister's life changed. If they want to help, great.
They'll be more likely to become one of those families where everyone is holding or playing with the baby at all times if nobody is forced to do it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
