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So we can't add on a room because it isn't our house. Lol!! Hopefully in the near future we will be moving into our own home again and things will be a bit more comfortable for all of us.
I hope 2014 brings you back to your home or a new home. I live above a flood zone and it's heartbreaking. I founded a nonprofit organization to secure long-term-temporary housing for flood victims because I was shocked to learn that the big nonprofits---Red Cross, Goodwill, etc.---only provide shelter for a few days.
My question was for the OP since she's the one who was pushing her unmarried pregnant daughter out of the house. My parents made decisions on where we lived and what rooms we shared. We understood we were to rise to the occasion. That's a family working together to problem solve. Parents today are letting the lunatics run the nuthouse.
wow -really? "Parents today"?
My only point was that there were multiple people in this family to consider so calling it a "no brainer" wasn't really fair.
Yes, it will be a Merry Christmas. It just gets better. I truly love my kids. The other two kids talked and they decided to room together so my daughter and the baby will take my other daughter's room. None of them wanted to see the family room go. We spend a lot of time in there and love it.
I can't believe how they're coming together to support each other. I am so very proud of them. I never would have asked them to do this and they did it on their own. This was the child that was against the whole thing that initiated the plan.
I will have more updates in the next couple of weeks. The holidays just came up so fast!!
Thank you for checking in and Merry Christmas!!!
Wow -- your kids sound like really great kids.
And next Christmas will be even better with the new little one there to help everyone enjoy it more.
We are a family that has been through five floods. Yes, FIVE!!! On number five, my husband and I couldn't take it anymore. We left. We mitigated of course but that means demolition and disinfection plus mold remediation. Then we called an attorney and locked the doors behind us. So until something ever works out, which hopefully 2014 will be the year, we are renting a home.
Wow, you have really had your share of bad luck!
I must say that I am pleased at the way things are unfolding for you, your daughter, and the rest of the family. It says a lot about your family that everyone seems to be trying to pull together. I wish all of you a happy holiday.
It is vital that she finishes school. Take out student loans if necessary to pay for childcare. I have a friend that did this throughout college and then medical school (!) by herself and she is now a successful MD and went into research vs being a regular doctor so she could be with her child more. I have another friend who got an MBA from Columbia with a 2yr old on her own using loans.
To me finishing school has to be the number one priority for the long term success of this family.
Do NOT take out student loans. Disastrous idea for these kids at this stage of their lives. Try for grants or free aid - but don't take out loans. And don't dare cosign a loan for them.
College students with MBAs are flipping burgers for 9 bucks an hour. Unless your daughter is capable of making it into an Ivy League school and getting a high demand professional degree - it isn't worth it. She could make a better living as a hair stylist.
Instead, she should pay her way through a good two year program, one semester at a time, to get a decent paying job that will enable her to save some money to pay for a four year degree later on IF she wants one. But heck, a lot of two year tech skills pay as much or more than teachers earn.
Now isn't the time to go to college. It's not a job seekers market, unemployment is too high and the economy is too shaky. The man can weld - he'll make a good living working days. Keep your living expenses very low, save money and pay for the college later when you've got it saved and the baby is older.
If you are renting, then how about moving to a larger house with a different layout? I'm sure your choices are fairly limited, due to the need to keep the younger kids in their same schools, but you've also got time to look, and to let it be known that you are seeking a house in the area with a fourth bedroom far from the other rooms. For instance, a split with a fourth BR on the family room floor. Or a ranch with an attic BR. Or a colonial with a room over the garage. Or a house with a finished basement. Best of all would be a house with a mother in law apartment attached. There are lots of possibilities. You can keep moving costs low by renting a truck and doing it yourselves - after all, you've got five capable adult sized people to do it, without even asking friends and relatives for help. My point is that you are not tied to this house, and you need more space now. You cannot wait on compensation for the house in the floodplain, which may never come - after all, the house was built in a flood prone area. I strongly agree that your daughter needs your help and support, and the best way to provide that support without it being to the detriment of your younger girls is to move to a house with enough space.
No there will not be any compensation from our old house. We aren't waiting on anything as far as that goes. We just need to get it settled out. We won't be able to buy another until we are set free from that one.
We're locked into a lease for a while and will make do.
When the lease is up we will either find another rental or hopefully be in a position to buy another home.
I shouldn't have been so emotional when she first told me. I should have taken a step back and realized that we have been through so much as a family and I really don't think there is anything we can't handle.
I shouldn't have been so emotional when she first told me. I should have taken a step back and realized that we have been through so much as a family and I really don't think there is anything we can't handle.
Please don't beat yourself up over your original reaction to your daughter's "news". An unexpected situation such as this would throw many parents for a loop. I'm just glad that things seem to be falling into place...for now. Best of luck to all.
All I've heard are excuses. My neighbors 16/17 year old just had a baby and the babies father, her boyfriend lives with them now. His wife sleeps on the couch, the baby and daughter and boyfriend sleep in the dining room. My neighbors grandmother is even currently staying with them and is sleeping in his daughters room.
They're making it work, you could too.
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and Merry Christmas!!!
