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My daughter came home today and demanded that we start buying her name brands, claiming that "EVERYONE (emphasis added) has Uggs, iphones, etc." Is this just typical middle school behavior?
My daughter came home today and demanded that we start buying her name brands, claiming that "EVERYONE (emphasis added) has Uggs, iphones, etc." Is this just typical middle school behavior?
That's nice.
They can demand crap when they pay their own bills.
How to deal?
Explain that fact to her and then refuse to entertain further discussion.
My daughter came home today and demanded that we start buying her name brands, claiming that "EVERYONE (emphasis added) has Uggs, iphones, etc." Is this just typical middle school behavior?
Demanding? No. Testing you out, perhaps a little whining? Yes. We lived in a super nice part of town and my kids didn't have cell phones. They had some name brand clothes and some not. Later, they drove older cars. We always felt like it built character. It also enabled us to pay for important things like their college education. Perhaps we just lucked out, but they had zero problems fitting in with their peers. Anywho, I'd say no to the phone and give her a pair of Uggs (or knock offs) for Christmas, but that's your choice.
"They can demand crap when they pay their own bills."
My hunch is that might be right around the time they stop coming home to visit because they no longer have to be subject to their parents' controlling ways. As irritating and disrespectful as her outburst is, this is when parents need to try to be the bigger person. She's just started middle school. Wrapped up in the demands and the attitude is a swirling mess of emotions - fear of the new, fear of being left out or ostracized, of not fitting in, jealousy, anger, fear of growing up, fear of not growing up. The more you can approach her with understanding and compassion and a focus on empowering her to solve her own problems, the more sway and influence you will have with her as she becomes a teenager - when you will really need it.
You could try suggesting a do-over with her, so that if she's willing to try a different, calmer approach, you'd be willing to discuss with her. I'm not saying that parents should be buying their kids' affections through material goods, but the child does have to wear clothes, why not at least talk with them about what they need, how much there is to spend on clothing, what they'd like to wear and what compromises they would be willing to make?
I would hazard a guess that your daughter just wants the boots for the brand name. If you know how to sew, you could just buy some caramel-colored boots with fur and then sew in the words "UGG Australia" on the side in brown thread. Or you could give in to her demand for either an iPhone or UGGs, but not both. Life is full of choices, really.
I never really understood why parents who can afford these type of goods choose to withhold them from their children. I mean, you don't have to buy them everything, but come on.
I wonder what "afford" means. For my money $200 for a pair of fur boots that are going to pack out in a year is absurd, especially when the point is the absurd price. The point is two fold, paying the right price for the product. And that keeping up withe Joneses is a wasted effort and a waste of money for the petty and silly.
I wonder what "afford" means. For my money $200 for a pair of fur boots that are going to pack out in a year is absurd, especially when the point is the absurd price. The point is two fold, paying the right price for the product. And that keeping up withe Joneses is a wasted effort and a waste of money for the petty and silly.
Yeah, $200 boots are not happening in this house. I'm floored when I see girls in elementary school--little girls of seven or eight--wearing Uggs. However, we did just splurge on some adorable fringed moccasin wedges from Minnetonka for the 12th-grader for half that, and she has a Android phone. She wants an iPhone because all her friends have one. We told her she could buy it herself, and she has a job. Apparently she has more pressing things to spend her hard-earned money on. So do we!
My middle school daughter needed boots last year, and she mentioned Uggs. I had never heard of them. We looked at the price. I said they are too expensive, and so we bought different boots. Believe it or not...her friends did not abandon her because she had different boots--even her wealthy friends.
I was raised by parents who taught us the value of a dollar. I will spend a little more money for quality or to buy a reasonably priced popular brand--but not for fads. I think it is important for pre-teens and teens to learn how to spend money wisely. It is rarely wise to spend money to just keep up with the Joneses (as other people have said). I would not even want my kids to be friends with others who judge people by the name brands they wear since it is such a shallow way to view others. There are students in middle school who care more about the personality of their friends than what they wear or the phone they carry. They are the ones I would like my kids to befriend.
Yeah, $200 boots are not happening in this house. I'm floored when I see girls in elementary school--little girls of seven or eight--wearing Uggs. However, we did just splurge on some adorable fringed moccasin wedges from Minnetonka for the 12th-grader for half that, and she has a Android phone. She wants an iPhone because all her friends have one. We told her she could buy it herself, and she has a job. Apparently she has more pressing things to spend her hard-earned money on. So do we!
By 12th grade, she is not necessarily going to grow put of them in a season!
My daughter came home today and demanded that we start buying her name brands, claiming that "EVERYONE (emphasis added) has Uggs, iphones, etc." Is this just typical middle school behavior?
Well, I think it is typical, but I'm firmly in the camp of "I don't give a crap." when my kids want something they don't need. They need an iPhone at that age like a cat needs a bike. We got both of them a cell phone that pretty makes makes and receives calls. No texting, no web, just a phone. If they have a problem with that, I don't care. We get name brands on sale from time to time and I do think many of them last longer. However, they both go through shoes so fast, it makes absolutely no sense to get them anything expensive.
I don't even know what an Ugg is.
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