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I feel like I'm a very good dad, constantly putting more importance to love than punishment.
But I also understand the importance of punishment, I just don't want to go overboard.
My 9-year-old son has ADHD and is very impulsive but aside from that he's a very good and caring kid
He was playing in our front yard by himself with some sticks and rocks and for whatever reason threw a rock and hit the side window of our neighbor's SUV and busted it.
Right away he felt bad, told us what he did, offered to give the neighbor all his savings (about $10), etc, etc.
This is the way I punished him: One week - Our middle son (his bestfriend) has to sleep in another room, same room as our toddler, so now he has to sleep alone for one week One week - Has to stay in his room everyday Two weeks - Aside from his regular chores, he has to put dishes in the dishwasher and take them out and put them away everyday One month - No computer, video games, movies or TV.
You know what is appropriate for your son so do what it is that you feel is the right thing.
You know how he will react and what is too much for him, no one else does.
Just be sure to tell him he did great when he came and told you the truth about what happened immediately
even though he knew he would be punished.
OMG- it was an accident not an act of terror. Sure he should be punished but you are going WAY overboard.
I firmly believe all punishment should be related to the misdeed. How is having the kid sleep alone going to teach him anything?
Have him earn the money to pay for the window by doing extra chores. Have him help wash your cars and the neighbors as well as a way of saying Sorry.
I think you are way over thinking this. Your goal is to help the kid learn responsibility not isolate him from his family.
Please don't do all those things to him. he doesn't deserve such harsh treatment.
Also you would be punishing the older boy by taking him away from his own bedroom. What good does that do?
A bit too much "punishment" and not enough "discipline".
Take his savings and put it towards paying for the neighbor's car window.
I agree with NoKudzu --- have him do extra chores to earn money to pay for the window IN FULL and have him wash the neigbor's car as part of the apology. Did he already apologize? I know you said he offered his $10 but did he sincerely apologize?
I would have him earn the money to pay for the window. There are plenty of chores a 9 year old can do...vacuuming, pulling weeds, etc. I'm sure he knows he messed up, tell him that mistakes happen but good people do everything they can to make up for those mistakes.
I understand where you're going with having his brother sleep in another room...my girls sleep in the same bed most nights and they have a lot of fun talking and telling stories until they fall asleep. When my youngest is in trouble, she has to go back and sleep in her own bedroom rather than her sister's room. But if both boys share that room, it's not fair to make the middle boy vacate his bedroom.
I too don't see much point in the room restrictions, and a month without computer, etc seems more in keeping with more serious willful disobedience, not something that was the result of carelessness.
My son broke a neighbors basement window, we sat down and figured the cost to replace it and then decided how much extra chores were worth. He did the extra chores, walked that neighbors dog for a month, sold a couple of his trading cards, and did odd jobs, like raking leaves around the neighborhood, until he paid off his debt. We were fairly generous with his 'wages', but even so I think it took him nearly a month to earn his way out of debt.
It wasn't so much a punishment as a 'people are responsible for their actions and these are the consequences of breaking a window, this is how the real world works'.
I too don't see much point in the room restrictions, and a month without computer, etc seems more in keeping with more serious willful disobedience, not something that was the result of carelessness.
My son broke a neighbors basement window, we sat down and figured the cost to replace it and then decided how much extra chores were worth. He did the extra chores, walked that neighbors dog for a month, sold a couple of his trading cards, and did odd jobs, like raking leaves around the neighborhood, until he paid off his debt. We were fairly generous with his 'wages', but even so I think it took him nearly a month to earn his way out of debt.
It wasn't so much a punishment as a 'people are responsible for their actions and these are the consequences of breaking a window, this is how the real world works'.
The fact he told you what he did is a big plus. He did the right thing rather than try to hide his actions.
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