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I would not think that a perfectly sane 13 year-old would kill herself over something like this. I endured FAR worse humiliations at that age and never thought about suicide.
What the woman did (the one who misrepresented herself) is terrible, but I don't see how she can be held responsible for the teen's suicide unless she just positively GOADED her into hanging herself.
The woman KNEW this girl had a history of depression, she is morally responsible in my opinion. As adults how can it be OK to be such a horrible and negative influence on a child?
Kids under 18 have no business expecting privacy
My house, my rules
Hats off to all you parents that keep on top of their kids...I did and it paid off
Now I also keep a watchful eye on 12 year old grand daughter..can never have to many eyes
Ok..now what in the heck is a hookah party...is this a new name for pot or hash???
and the mom who created the fake myspace page??? ok she has serious issues
A hookah is a Turkish water pipe.....it has many hoses connected so all can share one bowl of tobacco....what is IN the hookah is open to discussion but is usually an illegal substance............so I"ve heard
The woman KNEW this girl had a history of depression, she is morally responsible in my opinion. As adults how can it be OK to be such a horrible and negative influence on a child?
I didn't say it was OK; it's reprehensible. However, I don't feel she's criminally or civilly responsible for the teen taking her own life.
I don't see she could be held criminally responsible but a lawyer can make a civil lawsuit over less then this. The burden of proof is so much lower.
That aside, I don't know how the woman lives with herself.
I don't see how she does either. That being said, if I was on a civil jury I wouldn't immediately find her liable; I'd have to hear a lot more detail about the case.
Wow...I'm sooo glad my 5, 8 and 11 yo have no clue about MySpace, etc, yet.....
Right now I'm enjoying their innocent childhood.....digging for worms, riding bikes, climbing trees, roller blading......My biggest concern is that my 11 yo son will play a "T" x-box game or see a PG-13 movie at a friend's house. That usually infuriates me, but I guess I should "count my blessings", at least for the time being.
I am soo not wanting them to turn into teenagers......(ugh). So sad, it's so different than from when we were kids.
Kudos to all of the parents keeping tabs on their kids! My mother did the same with me and I remember all of the tantrums I threw about "invasions of privacy" and "not trusting me" and the like. Now at 26, I thank my mother immensely! Better for your children to be miffed with you for going through their things than having to visit them in prison because they had enough drugs stashed in their bedroom closet to make Pablo Escobar blush.
its funny that people think its so awful..but if the story read "mother fakes myspace account as teen boy to spy on daughter and finds out one of her friends made a bomb and was planning to blow up the school...plan thwarted" then you'd all be going "oooo great good for her..thats so awesome" So I have a feeling most people are being hypocrites. As for the mother that keylogs everything her daughter types, I seriously believe you need some help. Instead of being such a psycho, maybe you just need to establish some more trust and respect with your daughter so that she is open enough with you that you dont have to invade her privacy. If she ever did find out, she would lose trust in you forever, and you would have no hope of a good relationship in the future. Smothering, invasion of privacy, and too much discipline leads to children growing into adults that cant do anything for themselves, and can be just as bad as neglect and lack of discipline. Its a shame about the girl hanging herself, but its not just the myspace mothers fault, both that parent and the parent of the child hanging herself obviously have lack of communication with their own children.
Perhaps it is because I grew up in a different era, or perhaps because I spent so much time living in a small town when i was younger. Of course every kid wants to hide things from their parents. Does that make it right? NOOOOOOO. Think about it, why are they hiding it in the first place, because they know it is wrong! You don't hide something you know is ok for you to do. Your comment is the a perfect example of the counter-common sense culture that has developed in the world today. Sure kids may be more tech savvy than their parents, but for some reason they still don't understand that they shouldn't talk to strangers. Media/TV/Movies portray kids as having all the answers and parents being clueless money bags for them to use. What most media doesn't show is that most kids, when they hide things from their parents end up with consequences that they can't handle. It is those very consequences that 'nosy' parents are trying to protect them from. Case in point: I have a 15yr daughter who we have repeatedly spoken to about myspace, instant messaging, email, boys and anything else. Unfortunately we have to deal with idiots at her school (all girl mind you) and boys from an nearby Catholic school, who have encouraged 'model' herself in lingerie online. Being 'nosy' because she certainly wasn't showing us parents her 'portfolio' of work, we enlisted the help of other concerned kids her age. We confronted her, discussed with her, helped her to remove the pictures, but what does she do? Less than 3 months later, she is right back at it again because the next crop of kids (she was forbidden to hang out with the last group) just encouraged her to do all the same things over again. It is not that she is stupid and didn't know it was wrong. It was peer pressure. I'm sure most of the kids know what they put on myspace is wrong, that is why they try and keep it from their parents. Why do they do it in the first place? To fit in, to feel like their friends feel. Little do they realize that it is not really worth it, if everyone feels empty and disgusting on the inside. Now you just have a whole group of young adults that are beginning their adult life carrying more baggage than their parents have. It is really sick what some of the kids have been doing. We caught some of her friends basically trying to run a prostitution ring. It never occurred to them that it was wrong. They were under the misguided idea that it was their body, so they could do anything they wanted with it. In reply jadedSoul, (which may accurately describe you) you can continue to let your child 'make their own decisions' about what is right or wrong, being secretive or open. Me, as a parent I choose to make those choices for my child until they are old enough to do it RESPONSIBLY on their own. If they can't do something responsibly, then they aren't old enough to do it yet. I plan on giving them something most kids nowadays will never see when they reach adulthood, a clean past. My parents did the same for me and I thank them everyday that they didn't let me grow up to be a jaded person either.
I cannot wait till your kids go to college and have free roam after invading their privacy for so long. You think high school peers and parties have temptations, wait until your kid is around 20,000 others his/her age with everything from alcohol to meth running rampant. Add in that they were sheltered their entire lives by overbearing parents, thats just a recipe for disaster. If you cant find other ways to have functional relationships with your children, then you shouldnt have children END OF STORY. Its no different then having children when you're not emotionally or financially stable to do so. You're just going to screw up your children emotionally for life if this ever gets out. Sad really.
Obviously Jaded, you enjoy stirring up trouble for yourself. When people say 'If you shelter a child, they are just going to grow up and do things to rebel' they are really saying that they want an excuse to do what they know to be wrong, but can't stand on their own to deal with the consequences. People point fingers and say 'it was mommy and daddy's fault' when they can't simply acknowledge, 'yes, I know what I did was wrong and take responsibility for it.'
Last time I checked, everyone's parents shelter their children to some degree. When was the last time you heard a parent letting their child go out and commit mass murder or start human trafficing? Every parent has their limits to what they will allow their children to be involved in. In general, did the parents who were more lenient, let their kids have a drink here and there, spend the night at the bf/gf house now and then, did their children grow up to be more responsible? Or did those kids grow up to be drunks or with low morals? So far, I have yet to meet anyone whose parents allowed that, and they grew up without damage. The only time the situation has gotten better is when that child (as an adult) has admitted their parents made a mistake in raising them, being too lenient. They whip themselves into shape by adding more discipline to their lives. Call it 'finding god' or 'bettering themselves' they atleast recognize that someone has to put an end to following the foolish advice/example they've seen for the damage in their lives to be repaired. My oldest stepson (in college) had a father who only showed up on birthdays and occasionally on xmas to drop off a check. The rest of the time that I knew him, his bio dad would call on the phone just to tell him he needed to be a 'man' and have lots of girlfriends, drink booze and get street cred. Being stepdad, I had to deal with 'You're not my dad', 'I don't have to listen to you' and the like for the six years he was in our home. But I never stopped telling him what was the right thing to do. He has since been at college for 2 years and seen some of the things other kids (who have no conscience to tell them to stop) get involved in all that crazy stuff you described. My stepson is no angel, but he is glad that I atleast took the time to 'be nosy' and make sure he knew not only the right thing to do, but that we were interested enough to monitor him and make sure he did it.
After reading your post, the only sad thing I read is that the only 'functional' way you have of developing a relationship with your child is by not putting any effort into creating one at all. By all means, be my guest and be the parent that let's their child dictate to them what the parent should know. I only hope you realize your mistake before your child has grown up and they realize they never really had a parent at all.
A hookah is a Turkish water pipe.....it has many hoses connected so all can share one bowl of tobacco....what is IN the hookah is open to discussion but is usually an illegal substance............so I"ve heard
Thanks for clarifying, I was going to ask the same question.
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.....so I"ve heard
Are you freakin nuts!
