Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I actually have heard people say - SERIOUSLY - that the police should be waiting outside the doors of the Catholic churches in town to arrest people who give communion wine to underage kids.
It's definitely possible to be too adamant one way or the other. Moderation is the key, and common sense. Teach those principles to your kids and the rest will fall into place when it comes to drinking and a slew of other issues as well.
I wouldn't let my boys drink. I'm not going to ignore the likelihood that they'll try some in college, with friends, or even around family, so I won't make it a taboo issue, but I"m not going to be the one to allow it. They will know how I feel about it and everything that comes with it. The effects it has despite how it tastes. How it impairs judgment so use their better judgement despite what their friends say. Be the bigger person at parties and choose for themselves. All I can do is hope my approach works and they make good choices. If they don't make the choice I prefer, then my only hope is they trust me enough or have learned enough to at least be responsible and don't drive while under the influence. Neither me or my husband are alcoholics. I know my biological family did not have alcoholics in them, but no one knows about my husband's biological family. Alcoholism scares me. I don't want to see it happening in my family starting with my kids.
My mother was lucky with me. She tried to get me to taste beer so I wouldn't want it in college. I didn't want it then. I actually had to fight with her about not wanting to taste beer. Dumbest fight ever! I've tasted wine. I've actually gotten drunk in a controlled environment just to see what it felt like. I hated it! I like wine, but I won't drink more than maybe one glass in a year. A taste is plenty. I won't have that argument with my boys. If they don't want to taste something, I'd be doing a disservice to insist. Another friend of mine went through that. His mother thought it OK to let him drink in her presence. She was afraid he'd become an alcoholic if he didn't taste it first in her home like he'd be out of control at college parties because of curiosity. He became an alcoholic regardless. He also got in to drugs. He's clean now with a family, but it was tough for him for a while. Even tougher on his mom because she was trying so hard to avoid what happened.
My oldest never wanted to - she did not like going to parties when she was in high school and didn't like hanging around the kids who did. The first time she really drank was when her DH (he was her fiance then) dragged her to a college frat party when she was a couple of months short of 21. She didn't drink much, and she hated the party. She went out on her 21st birthday, had a few drinks (but made the mistake of "mixing them") and threw up in front of her fiance. A bottle of "Mike's Hard" lemonade or cider is the most she indulges in now.
My youngest was so paranoid about "breaking the law" (I worked for a law firm and we frequently represented underage kids who were busted) and she knew all about going to court, fines, etc. She worried about it even when it was just a small glass of wine at Christmas or family dinners. She's now 21, and does drink occasionally, but never to excess - she says she doesn't like "feeling tipsy".
I don't know what I did to end up so lucky with both of them, that they never acted the way my friends and I did when we were kids and it was always easy to buy beer and get in clubs underage. I shudder to think how much we drank when we were teenagers.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 10-11-2013 at 03:40 AM..
I tell you what really bothers me - those friggin ads for sorbet flavored vodka, with sorbet piled in a martini glass, aimed at young women.
It's not ice cream, it's vodka. Vodka will get you hammered, peach and coconut flavored or not.
It feels to me as if the message is, "here, have this delicious candy treat, it's not really a bucket of hard booze, tastes like raspberry sorbet, perfectly harmless."
You might as well be sitting there downing shots of wiskey, but they've made it into this glam fun girly thing. Not so much fun when you find your car wrapped around a tree at 3am because you drank too many frou frou martinis that were just as fun and sweet as can be.
I tell you what really bothers me - those friggin ads for sorbet flavored vodka, with sorbet piled in a martini glass, aimed at young women.
It's not ice cream, it's vodka. Vodka will get you hammered, peach and coconut flavored or not.
It feels to me as if the message is, "here, have this delicious candy treat, it's not really a bucket of hard booze, tastes like raspberry sorbet, perfectly harmless."
You might as well be sitting there downing shots of wiskey, but they've made it into this glam fun girly thing. Not so much fun when you find your car wrapped around a tree at 3am because you drank too many frou frou martinis that were just as fun and sweet as can be.
The REAL message is buy me. The hook is this is sexy.
If you really think about it, I DO believe that we need to prepare our children to live in a world where alcohol is everywhere. Though you have gotten me rethinking the how and why of it. But isn't it sad how alcohol soaked our society is? Even at my age, I have to turn down an invite to a Halloween part at good friends because every year someone is vomiting or getting lost in the neighborhood. How is that fun?
The REAL message is buy me. The hook is this is sexy.
If you really think about it, I DO believe that we need to prepare our children to live in a world where alcohol is everywhere. Though you have gotten me rethinking the how and why of it. But isn't it sad how alcohol soaked our society is? Even at my age, I have to turn down an invite to a Halloween part at good friends because every year someone is vomiting or getting lost in the neighborhood. How is that fun?
Becoming a parent literally saved my life.
Finally, I'm in a world where every thing and every social event and every after work (who am I kidding, at work) gathering is not centered entirely around booze. I serve beer and wine at gatherings. But it's just completely different when you have kids and friends with kids that need to be put first.
Heavy binge drinking is becoming a serious problem for our young women. Flavored vodkas and skinny girl martinis make it easy to pretend you're not drinking like a sailor, when in reality you're putting life, limb and worse - your professional and personal reputation - at risk.
I think our girls especially need education on what's heavy drinking and what isn't. A glass of wine is fine, four sorbet martinis will get ya drunk, even if it doesn't taste like it. Interestingly, in that link, the problem is worse in high income households.
Yes, at holiday events before they were done with high school and now that they are in college and/or over 21 whenever they want...which is not often. We've taken away the "need" to binge drink by giving them permission and taken away the mystery of drinking.
I tell you what really bothers me - those friggin ads for sorbet flavored vodka, with sorbet piled in a martini glass, aimed at young women.
It's not ice cream, it's vodka. Vodka will get you hammered, peach and coconut flavored or not.
It feels to me as if the message is, "here, have this delicious candy treat, it's not really a bucket of hard booze, tastes like raspberry sorbet, perfectly harmless."
You might as well be sitting there downing shots of wiskey, but they've made it into this glam fun girly thing. Not so much fun when you find your car wrapped around a tree at 3am because you drank too many frou frou martinis that were just as fun and sweet as can be.
Do you really think people are that stupid that they don't understand that it's still a drink even though it has ice cream in the drink??
Plenty of men think beer is fine because it's not hard liquor too
Though not a parent yet, I think it is important to open the dialogue early. My parents would offer to share what they were drinking with me when I was young (elementary school age) and it was perfect then because it tasted horrible to me. It made it seem that it was not that big of a deal that I could try some if I wanted, I just didn't want it.
I'd like to think I will do the same with my kids. The thing I have to keep in mind is that both me and my wife have alcoholism in our families, though not within the last couple generations (including us). We know that it's there so we need to keep the dialogue open and positive from the beginning. That said, I'd be leery to allow my children to drink up to 1 bottle of beer/glass of wine/mixed drink at special occasions just because of what I've heard about the effects alcohol can have on minors before they've turned a certain age (I think it was basically late teens). But sips here or there probably wouldn't be a problem.
The last thing we want to do is to deny and restrict and then send our kids off to college (if they go) without any experience or knowledge about alcohol. My father, who works in student affairs at a university, is responsible for visiting students who are rushed to the hospital for whatever reason on campus. Most hospital visits, you guessed it, are related to alcohol poisoning. Many of these students have never touched it and don't know how to drink responsibly.
Since alcohol is not going away any time soon, it's vital that we EDUCATE our children about it, as opposed to just preventing them from ever touching the stuff.
Kids and young adults need to learn to deal with emotional problems on their own, not by getting intoxicated - best they not get started drinking until they are legal age.
It is also against the law and can get the adult into serious legal trouble! An example to set for the kid for when they become legal adults - to not provide their underage friends with alcohol - learn how to say NO!
Actually, in most states is is perfectly legal for parents to give their own children drinks at home and in some states they can drink in restaurants, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
