U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 10-08-2013, 07:07 PM
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,026 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73631


Originally Posted by ibelieveinmaryworth View Post
We see lots of malnourished children with excess weight. Intake of food does not equal nutrition. They sound like they are not eating properly. Do you eat SAD (Standard American Diet)? Refined carbs and dead flesh, oh my!
Oh, look who's back!

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 10-08-2013, 07:30 PM
9,658 posts, read 7,629,801 times
Reputation: 17502
Please, everyone, particularly if you've just discovered this thread: read the entire thing for a fuller understanding of the situation. Some of you are jumping to very mistaken conclusions and your well-intentioned suggestions are not on target or likely to be helpful.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-08-2013, 07:34 PM
Location: Ridley Park, PA
695 posts, read 1,228,572 times
Reputation: 910
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I read somewhere on here where some poster said that the folks at work dont understand why her kids have to call her to ask her to eat a certain food ? , I would not be telling that on an open forum . We had a girl at work whose kids had to call her if they wanted something different to eat and someone called cps on her and the cps worker came to the office and told her that she simply cannot allow that to go on . The child or children in question cannot be told that they cannot have a certain food unless there is a medical issue . Then the worker was very condensending and said "Now we hope there will not be any more food issues or problems " . I mean really so some of us maybe should be careful what we put on here in an open forum . I can understand food is exspensive and parents wanting to make it last but gosh at your childs exspense ? My mother withheld food from my brother as a punishment and he was as big as a house and he died last year from stomach problems as a result . me Im skinny as a rail and I stay that way but that also relates back to me being used to going hungry alot as a kid too .Believe me with holding food is not the answer to anything .
That is very disturbing, but then I've found CPS disturbing for some time anyway. It's none of their darn business if a parent wants to restrict what a kid eats as long as the kid is getting proper nutrition. So if a kid gets home and is told they're allowed to have an apple, but the kid wants a container of cookies instead, the parent isn't allowed to say no? That's nonsense.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-08-2013, 07:40 PM
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
Reputation: 30256
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I was beaten as a child for "stealing" food. My Father bought Twinkies and chips and soda for himself. If I ate any of "his" food, I was whipped. My food, was oatmeal, or soup and crackers. He designated areas where his food was kept. He would eat meat, fresh fruit, I got canned soup.

Parents and children should eat together, and eat the same food, as a family, there should not be "parents food" and "kid food".

So, that is my perspective....no apologies from me on my stance on any person who says kids "steal food".

If you can't afford food for your children, with WIC, and food pantries, then I suggest there are problems...and maybe Social Services in your state can provide solutions.
There's no adult food and child food in the OP's situation. It's the family food. The same food for everyone. The children are eating food that is designated to last an entire week. Four loaves of bread eaten in an hour means there's no bread for sandwiches until the next paycheck.

The word "stealing" is semantics. The OP came here hoping to find solutions on how he can solve this problem. He came here because he wants to feed his family, and he doesn't know how to feed them when they are eating up all of the food that is supposed to last until the next payday.

What needs to be resolved is the root of the problem, the reason the children are doing this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-08-2013, 08:34 PM
Location: Sumner, WA
358 posts, read 921,122 times
Reputation: 244
It might either be they aren't eating enough during meals or they are growing very fast.

I think discipline and rules are the keys to change their behavior. First, ask them if they are still hungry after meals. Also ask them if they want to snack, what kind of healthy foods would they be interested in at specific times.

Other than that, they need to know eating will happen at specific times and only those specific times. If they sneak food, and you'll find out if they do because parents always are able to find out, there will be consequences and punishment, such as time outs and no dessert.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-08-2013, 08:52 PM
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
Reputation: 31039
The Power of Food - Tips for handling hoarding _ food hoarding, adoption food, eating disorder adopting

Why would someone hoard food? - Mental Health - Sharecare
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-08-2013, 10:29 PM
Location: Tonawanda NY
398 posts, read 436,538 times
Reputation: 695
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
sorry that i'm a bad parent, we are just struggling. like i said 15 times, idk what to do. it would be helpful if we could get food stamps, but we were denied. so idk.
You are not a bad parent, you are clearly trying to figure this out. You need to seek out a supervisor to review your case because with 6 people in the home you should be able to qualify. You mentioned moving from public housing, sometimes people in public housing are denied because the rent is so low they have means to purchase food. Now you need to apply with your new rental increase.

As for the bread bandits, your probably not giving them enough at meal time. I spent a lot of time hungry as a kid because my Mother would cook well balanced meals but she would give me too small of a portion. I was a pantry thief, bread was the easiest to steal and I would feed my younger sisters and brothers because I knew if I was hungry they were too. As adults we laugh about it now but it was seriously depressing as a kid sneaking around trying to find food to eat without getting into trouble because every meal was planned out and if we ate something out of plan, a meal was ruined. Please what ever you do, do not punish them, talk to them about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-09-2013, 05:08 AM
11,229 posts, read 9,225,730 times
Reputation: 14654
So I have given this thread some thought. OP here is what I think I would do.

1. During meal times, make sure that all distractions (tv or whatever) are off and away. I know you cannot sit at a table all together. But you can all sit near ish. On a couch, floor pulled up to the coffee table, etc.. Make sure that there is nothing standing in the way of getting good food at the "designated" meal and snack times.

2. Brainstorm with the kids what they can do between meals that does not constitute against the rules. While I post elsewhere that granola bars and cereal are junk food, they are not the worst in the world. If you are operating on a low income, get what you can, the best that you can and then smile that your kids are fed. See if you can find some ways that they can take control of some in between snacking.

3. I don't know how you can do this. But I think you should try to find more time for them. It sounds like a near impossibility.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-09-2013, 07:43 AM
3,325 posts, read 3,260,957 times
Reputation: 8433
Something is VERY, VERY wrong here. This is NOT normal or common, except in children who have been or are being denied access to food. I'm assuming that your children are not overweight - that's a different story. If they are, make an appointment now to discuss strategies with the pediatrician for how you can properly feed them so that they won't be hungry, but will get to a normal weight.

Children should feel that they have free access to food and water - consumed in the kitchen or dining room, if yours isn't an eat in kitchen. First of all, get the candy/junk out of the house - that way, no one will "steal" it. It's very hard for children (and even adults) to resist sweets. Bring in small amounts when you intend to have them, and finish them, or privately lock them in the car, if you don't want a locked cabinet. Cars should be locked up anyway, with keys hidden from kids. Second, it sounds like your kids are hungry and carbohydrate-deprived if they are "stealing" bread. Make sure that they get full meals with protein, fruit/veg, and plenty of carbohydrate at each meal. Allow them free access to water and fruits and veggies between meals - have them cut up, ready, and out at all times in the kitchen. Limit eating to the kitchen. Do NOT deny them snacks in between meals - it is healthier for kids (and adults) to eat small, frequent meals, rather than get really hungry and eat a large meal.

You might want to give some consideration to how much you guys can manage, time-wise and financially. It's very hard to manage school with one child, let alone so many young ones. If you haven't already looked into it, please check out WIC. It helps with the food bill. It's easy to qualify for - the income levels are quite liberal. Even if you have the attitude that you would never accept "charity", think of it as something that you have paid for already with taxes, or that you will be paying back, through taxes when you're done with school. You can never go back and make up for food deprivation in childhood. I had a friend in college who was raised in a big Catholic family, where there was never enough food, even though his mother and father would never admit to that fact, neither then nor now. Mom served out the food at mealtimes - giving Dad a double portion, "because he's a big man who needs more", while the children looked hungrily at his plate, and there was never more than that one serving for the kids. They were still hungry. At least sometimes there was a bag of apples, so that a kid could go get an apple to eat between meals. And Mom knew, deep down, that the kids were hungry, because if they ever went anywhere that food was served, she would tell the kids before they got there, "Now, don't be shy about the food." This man was in his late twenties to early thirties when I knew him and he STILL talked about this - he was otherwise highly successful in life.

If after reading this, you think that you are doing everything right, but the kids are still "stealing" food, PLEASE speak with your pediatrician about finding a child behavioralist to work with your family. This is NOT normal, and you and the kids need help right away. If you don't have insurance for the kids, apply for the state CHIP (Medicaid), even if it's against your principles. Access to medical care in childhood is another one of those things you cannot go back and "fix" later on, and you have or will have paid into the system, too, at some point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-09-2013, 08:01 AM
3,325 posts, read 3,260,957 times
Reputation: 8433
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
Okay....since tons of people are just insulting us and calling us bad parents, let me make a long post elaborating further.

My wife and I work 50 hours a week, alternating shifts at the same job and go to school full time - sorry but unfortunately we do not always have the time to sit down with them and eat dinner with them. First, we only have a 4 person dinner table with a 6 person family. 2nd, no we do not get food stamps or WIC because apparently we do not qualify. We have applied and been denied. We have been visited by DSS, and they informed us that we NEEDED a 3 bedroom house, so we got one and it happens to be slightly out of our range (considering we both only have sh*tty jobs as management at fast food). Along with all the other bills including food. Before, we were living in the low income housing projects and a dead body ended up on our doorstep - so not only did DSS say we had to move, we decided yeah this is no way for kids to grow up. Also, since many people are asking, I am assuming my wife was asleep because she worked from 3PM-3AM and got up at 6AM to get the girls on the bus, while I was up getting the 3 year old and myself ready for school. She is at work again tonight, another 3P-3A shift.

I am incredibly offended that people are saying "those poor children" they must be being starved or famished or what the hell ever, we do the best we can with the hand we were dealt. They are happy children, they do well in school, they get free lunches at school, and they are overall very very well behaved children. Except when it comes to food. They indeed have 3 meals a day, 2 of which are at school. 1 at home. When they get home, they always have a snack. Usually cereal, or crackers, or goldfish, or fruit, or sandwich. It depends entirely on the money situation. How on earth does a 3 year old eat 6 cinnabons? It's not difficult. I am not even entirely sure he actually ate them all - I just know when I got home they were missing.

I've also noticed people saying it is unusual for children to be stealing food - a quick google search proves this to be untrue. I don't know what the hell you guys are searching, but everything I type in comes up with tons of results of people in similar situations. However, I suppose it is *possible* that every single one of these cases that I am reading about in my google searches are totally famished and deprived children, but somehow I doubt it.

We do not "reward" the children with food, and the only time we punish them about it is when they take it without asking. You members saying no limit on food - really? With a 4 kids all under the age of 8, you would just let them raid the fridge whenever they please? Well, I want whatever job you have to be able to afford that kind of nonsense - because that it nonsense. Kids that age should not be in control of the fridge. These kids would eat literally all day if we let them. So you know what? Who knows. Maybe they do have a disease where they never feel full.

I do like some of thee responses in here, telling the 7 yr old to be the food police, a shelf, etc. However, some people, like "Hopes", do not post in my thread again.
WOW. I really feel for you. It's got to be really, really hard trying to raise four little kids on 100 hrs/wk of low-paying work. I'm glad you're going to school, too, hard as it may be right now. I hope you've chosen something very practical, that will quickly lead to higher pay. The income level for food stamps and WIC must be higher in your state than in mine, because in mine you would qualify, with six people and your income. Please look again at your state's income level qualifications, and consider both of you cutting back on your hours so as to qualify for WIC and food stamps. You just cannot each work 50 hours/wk, and you go to school, and take care of four young children adequately. It's impossible. And apparently it's not working out, because someone already called DSS on you, and the kids are stealing food.

As for the kids getting fed two meals a day at school, if you mean that the older ones are getting breakfast and lunch at school, don't assume that these school cafeteria meals are healthy, nutritious, or palatable. Don't assume that they actually EAT them. They should have breakfast at home before they leave. You can get large quantities of cheap fruit if you can find a nearby orchard that sells directly. Supermarkets have sales on cereal, and you can get oatmeal in bulk for cheap. There should be an unlimited healthy snack (not goldfish or crackers or cookies, but fruits and veggies, or even a full meal of something cheap, like pasta, when they get home). Then they should have a full dinner three hours later, too. Add a foldable tray table to the four person table just for family meals, so you can all sit down together, when possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top