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Old 10-07-2013, 06:43 PM
 
15,871 posts, read 13,429,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
Okay....since tons of people are just insulting us and calling us bad parents, let me make a long post elaborating further.

My wife and I work 50 hours a week, alternating shifts at the same job and go to school full time - sorry but unfortunately we do not always have the time to sit down with them and eat dinner with them. First, we only have a 4 person dinner table with a 6 person family. 2nd, no we do not get food stamps or WIC because apparently we do not qualify. We have applied and been denied. We have been visited by DSS, and they informed us that we NEEDED a 3 bedroom house, so we got one and it happens to be slightly out of our range (considering we both only have sh*tty jobs as management at fast food). Along with all the other bills including food. Before, we were living in the low income housing projects and a dead body ended up on our doorstep - so not only did DSS say we had to move, we decided yeah this is no way for kids to grow up. Also, since many people are asking, I am assuming my wife was asleep because she worked from 3PM-3AM and got up at 6AM to get the girls on the bus, while I was up getting the 3 year old and myself ready for school. She is at work again tonight, another 3P-3A shift.
Well THERE'S your problem! These kids are not being supervised. Why do BOTH of you have to go to school full time? That just seems to be a recipe for neglect. The kids are bored. They are lonely and missing boundaries and attention. They get hit though, so that's a form of attention I guess...


So why did CPS come to visit?
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:45 PM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,056,615 times
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Well, they have fast food management jobs, those awful shifts and low income are unlikely to change without some school. I agree there is obviously a supervision issue here but it seems school might be a faster path to more time with the kids.
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:49 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
Also, since many people are asking, I am assuming my wife was asleep because she worked from 3PM-3AM and got up at 6AM to get the girls on the bus, while I was up getting the 3 year old and myself ready for school. She is at work again tonight, another 3P-3A shift.
If your wife is sleeping during the day while you are at school, your 20 month old isn't being supervised for hours. That's neglect. You guys can't keep living this way. It's not fair to your children. It's outright illegal for a 20 month old to not be supervised during the day by an adult who is awake. There very well might be detachment disorder happening.
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:53 PM
 
831 posts, read 1,306,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHelmit View Post
my kids are too young for video gaming right now, but they sure do obsess over that TV. we dont have cable so everything they watch is from my computer (being hooked up to the TV), so they watch maybe 2-3 movies or shows a week, and thats it. the rest of the time they are playing in their rooms or the backyard. i dont even like letting them watch this much tv, because like i said they obsess over it. i have a 1.5 year old boy, 3 yr old boy, 5 yr old girl, and 7 yr old girl.

The girls are not watching ANY TV right now - 5 year old is getting more bad notes from her kindergarten techer than good notes. 7 year old is "performing below grade level" in math, and still writes a lot of her numbers and letters backwards. no TV at all until that changes. however i usually have on the TV during dinner (we only have a 4 seat table so i eat on the couch) and it kills me to see them totally turned around in their seats barely even eating just staring at the TV. i give them 1 warning, and if i see them doing it again they eat in the laundry room on the floor, in the corner. it annoys me to no end. or if i tell them to clean their rooms, i will sometimes see one or 2 of them just standing in the hallway with a shirt in their hands or something staring at the TV from the hallway. very very annoying.

I don't even know what to say. Making the kids eat in the laundry room floor ........
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:56 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
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I appreciate the fact that you are in a difficult situation and are trying to make it better, but someone needs to be there for the kids. Only one of you should go to school at a time. Your schedule sounds crazy and I think the kids are suffering. They don't understand school and work, they just know no one is ever there. Who watches them while you are at school and work? What are you doing while they are eating dinner?
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:56 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliss2 View Post
Well, they have fast food management jobs, those awful shifts and low income are unlikely to change without some school. I agree there is obviously a supervision issue here but it seems school might be a faster path to more time with the kids.
Each working 50 hours per work, plus both going to school full time and homework, means the children are being neglected. It can't continue like this until they are done with school. One of them needs to free up time to raise the children while the other finishes school. When that one finishes and gets a better job, the other one can start school. But what the OP describes can't continue the way it is now.
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Old 10-07-2013, 07:06 PM
 
15,871 posts, read 13,429,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Each working 50 hours per work, plus both going to school full time and homework, means the children are being neglected. It can't continue like this until they are done with school. One of them needs to free up time to raise the children while the other finishes school. When that one finishes and gets a better job, the other one can start school. But what the OP describes can't continue the way it is now.
First the OP says the kids do well in school, then he says they are doing poorly.
Quote:
5 year old is getting more bad notes from her kindergarten techer than good notes. 7 year old is "performing below grade level" in math, and still writes a lot of her numbers and letters backwards.
Then he says the kids don't watch much TV because they are obsessed with it, then he says he has the TV on while they are eating dinner together and he punishes them when they turn around to watch it.

Whose idea was it to have all these kids you can't be bothered to spend time with anyway?

SMH.
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Old 10-07-2013, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
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I am sorry if it sounds harsh to you but the posters, including me, are just trying to be helpful and to give you ideas to solve the mystery of why your children are "stealing food".

Another idea is to contact your children's teachers and ask them to check with the lunchroom aides/supervisors to see if your children are actually eating their breakfast & lunch. This may not be the case but sometimes young children are so excited to get outside to play they only eat a few bites of their meal so that they can have more recess time. In my school district that was such a problem that they changed the schedule so that all of the elementary age students now play outside first and then eat lunch. It has made a dramatic change in how much food is just thrown away and many teachers have reported that fewer children complain in the afternoon about being hungry.

You may also want to ask about breakfast. In my school district it is "breakfast in a bag". Every day it has a container of applesauce, and a bowl of dry cereal plus a carton of milk. There are always two other things such as goldfish crackers, graham crackers, fruit bars, granola bars or something like that. Most children eat part for breakfast and save part for "snack time" in the classroom (as it is too much for many younger children to eat at one time) . Check at school if your children are eating all of their breakfast, maybe there is something that can come home with them rather than just get thrown in the garbage.

Sometimes, there is even a way to get an extra milk. One of my students was allergic to milk and a classmate loved milk so the first child shared with the second child (technically that is not "legal" under the school lunch guidelines but it was worked out "unofficially"). Ask the teacher maybe there are "extra milks" available.

Good luck to you and your family.

Last edited by germaine2626; 10-07-2013 at 07:25 PM..
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Old 10-07-2013, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,533 posts, read 2,692,928 times
Reputation: 3861
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzyQ123 View Post
I don't even know what to say. Making the kids eat in the laundry room floor ........
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
First the OP says the kids do well in school, then he says they are doing poorly.


Then he says the kids don't watch much TV because they are obsessed with it, then he says he has the TV on while they are eating dinner together and he punishes them when they turn around to watch it.

Whose idea was it to have all these kids you can't be bothered to spend time with anyway?

SMH.
I can only assume both of you didn't read properly. Your posts make it sound as if I make them eat dog food ont he laundry room floor while I am in the living room watching spongebob or dora the explorer. no. the only way they eat on the laundry room floor is if they don't follow directions numerous times and continue to turn around during their dinner to watch my videos on finding derivatives and integrals, and watch my videos on calculus based physics. you know, since the eldest is 7, i'm just assuming they dont know what a "derivative" is. so there is no reasonf or them to take an hour to eat their dinner because of the TV. however, since i made that post, i have remedied the situation by keeping my math and science videos to my computer only, and not hooking them up to the distracting TV.

first i say they do well in school, then theyre not? they are different kids. the 5 year old does absolutely fine with reading and writing etc, but acts poorly in class (it is always talking out of turn), and with the 7 year old, it is the opposite. she does poorly with numbers and letters but never gets in trouble. so thank you, expert on the family of lordhelmit. how is your perfect f*cking life going? must be nice.
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Old 10-07-2013, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,533 posts, read 2,692,928 times
Reputation: 3861
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I am sorry if it sounds harsh to you but the posters, including me, are just trying to be helpful and to give you ideas to solve the mystery of why your children are "stealing food".

Another idea is to contact your children's teachers and ask them to check with the lunchroom aides/supervisors to see if your children are actually eating their breakfast & lunch. This may not be the case but sometimes young children are so excited to get outside to play they only eat a few bites of their meal so that they can have more recess time. In my school district that was such a problem that they changed the schedule so that all of the elementary age students now play outside first and then eat lunch. It has made a dramatic change in how much food is just thrown away and many teachers have reported that fewer children complain in the afternoon about being hungry.

You may also want to ask about breakfast. In my school district it is "breakfast in a bag". Every day it has a container of applesauce, and a bowl of dry cereal plus a carton of milk. There are always two other things such as goldfish crackers, graham crackers, fruit bars, granola bars or something like that. Most children eat part for breakfast and save part for "snack time" in the classroom (as it is too much for many younger children to eat at one time) . Check at school if your children are eating all of their breakfast, maybe there is something that can come home with them rather than just get thrown in the garbage.

Sometimes, there is even a way to get an extra milk. One of my students was allergic to milk and a classmate loved milk so the first child shared with the second child (technically that is not "legal" under the school lunch guidelines but it was worked out "unofficially"). Ask the teacher maybe there are "extra milks" available.

Good luck to you and your family.
this is a good idea, and it is entirely possible that they are rushing throught heir lunch r not finishing it, so they can get extra recess. they have done similar things at the house when they want to play in the backyard. i will ask about this.
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