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Old 08-21-2012, 08:37 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 59,749,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I hope so, although I don't see how this is an issue with any resolution. If one person really wants kids and the other doesn't there is no compromise. You can't have half a baby.
Exactly. It's a matter of irreconcilable differences and time to move on. Neither can be happy if this is an important issue to both.
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Old 08-22-2012, 07:56 AM
 
Location: North America
14,210 posts, read 9,884,894 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George0708 View Post
I was in a similar situation in our mid 20s. We are now in our early 40s. We discussed the matter before marriage. She wanted 0 because of her experience, negatives, etc. But I wanted many. We agreed on everything else except this. Now we have two. She loves the kids. You will love them if you have them. It sounds like you have a loving home. Your husband will make changes to be a new dad. We did not realize how serious this was and how it would impact us in the future. This issue has been a struggle for both of us over the years. Also, don't think of it as giving in. Think of it as compromising. You will be blessed. When you hold that precious baby in your arms, your heart will melt. Your husband will have tears of joy. If you truly love each other as much as it appears, then the baby will be an added bonus. Your love will grow even stronger. Make sure you have the finances that are needed for nanny, house cleaning, etc. Blessings.
Just because it worked out for you , doesn't mean it's a one size fits all sort of situation. Having kids when you don't want them can lead to resentment, and unhappiness as well. And this is something that makes the child suffer as well if he gets a parent with not real desire or interest to take care of them.
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Old Today, 12:06 PM
 
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I truly believe all women instinctively have the motherhood characteristics but some do not know this. When you first become pregnant, this desire grows as the child begins to develop and moves in your body up to birth. It is all scary to think about and you will learn all the things that can go wrong, but when I was pregnant and miserable many times, I would often think about this is only 9 short months out of my whole life and that is nothing. It is not easy raising children, but then it has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. You learn to again to appreciate the most basic of things as your child experiences theses things for the first time. Some people say they are scared they may not have enough love needed to share for a child, but I believe your love grows and doesn't diminish any for your husband or any other child you may have. I wish you the best with your decision and hope whatever happens you have no regrets.
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Old Today, 01:29 PM
 
1,064 posts, read 1,756,632 times
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This thread is many years old.

And your experience isnít everyoneís experience. If you donít want kids you shouldnít have kids. Certainly donít hope your feelings will change. The stakes are too high.
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