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A couple of days ago, I was at the park with my almost 4 year old DS, and was watching a group of boys play - two about his age, I'm guessing younger brothers, and the rest about six or seven years old. The older boys were playing some sort of pretend war/battle game, which I understand for this age; but then I was kind of shocked to see the two little four years olds joining in - one grabbed a handful of rocks and started throwing them yelling that he's got 'bombs' and 'grenades' and is 'going to blow you up'. They all proceeded to run around 'play-fighting', which involved the older boys kicking the younger one in the stomach, kicking and pushing each other on top of the open play structure ladder where the four year old could've easily been pushed off six feet down, and waving around sharp sticks inches from the younger boy's eyes - all the while yelling about killing, bombs, attacks, etc. Mind you, the younger boys I think were so excited to be included in the older boys' game that they put up with whatever.
The boys' mothers however sat calmly on the bench chatting and seemed totally unperturbed.
Now, I've never been one of those totally 'anti-toy-gun' moms, I get that boys are boys and they enjoy war games and such and I think it's fine to an extent - however, this seemed disturbingly violent to me, especially involving the preschoolers. My son loves boy things and rough-housing with dad and shooting with water guns, however he's never really been exposed to any sort of violent content, not even because we specifically shelter him but just because we don't bring it into the home - we don't have cable and he watches peaceful cartoons like PBS shows, Thomas, etc., we haven't bought him any toy weapons (I wouldn't freak if someone else did or if he asked for it specifically when older, but I won't take the initiative). He doesn't know what a grenade is, and I don't think he even knows that guns kill people, or what killing even really is. But watching these kids made me wonder, is this really normal for boys at that age, and is DS just overly sheltered? Is this what he's going to face in school or playground? Or was it just that particular group of kids? He goes to two preschools, and I've never seen any of the boys play this way.
I know that play fighting is definitely normal. I have two boys (and a girl) and they are 4 and 6. The older son loves anything Ninjago(cartoon) and Mario Bros(Nintendo game). Younger son looks up to older son - so, he loves them too. They do "reenact" some battles in both listed above.
Both of my sons do know about water guns, but to be quite frank, I don't know if they know what real guns are. They do have Styrofoam swords and shields and plastic pirate swords (jake and the neverland pirates).
BTW, I don't think one has to have cable anymore to watch violence, unfortunately.
I wouldn't consider bombs, grenades, and blowing people up normal. At least I hope not. I have seen super heroes, ninjas, cowboys, and essentially the good guys acted out.
Why ask this question specifically of boys, implying theyre the only gender who play and have imagination... Maybe you're asking if males are more predisposed to violence? Complex question not entirely dependent on parenting
Sounds normal to me. They're 4 year olds playing with older boys. If parents don't buy them toy guns, they'll use sticks as guns. Yes, he'll learn this when he starts school if he doesn't learn from others sooner. They pick it up quickly. As for rock throwing, I would have been over there having a talk with them about the dangers of rock throwing even if their mother's didn't. I was blind in one eye at 4 years old due to rock throwing. I take it very seriously.
It's normal, but still has to be supervised. For some reason MOST kids (male and female) love to throw rocks. It can be a totally benign activity such as skipping rocks at the lake and all of a sudden one kid will turn to another and then rocks are flying everywhere.
Kids can't see the danger, so yeah, the parents should step in.
As for the "violent" component - there is a certain inherent wild side to human nature. I have two boys and two girls - all of them don't watch a whole lot of TV, but they'd grab sticks and pretend to hunt in the yard all the time. I'd always tell them not to point "pretend" guns at a person - always at a target, never toward a human being. Didn't matter. I'd have a friend visit and they'd run right up to them and pretend to shoot them with a twig. Grrrrrr.
The other point is that many kids draw violent images when you're not around - you'd be surprised. That whole "my little Johnny has never done that" - well, maybe not in front of you.
A couple of days ago, I was at the park with my almost 4 year old DS, and was watching a group of boys play - two about his age, I'm guessing younger brothers, and the rest about six or seven years old. The older boys were playing some sort of pretend war/battle game, which I understand for this age; but then I was kind of shocked to see the two little four years olds joining in - one grabbed a handful of rocks and started throwing them yelling that he's got 'bombs' and 'grenades' and is 'going to blow you up'. They all proceeded to run around 'play-fighting', which involved the older boys kicking the younger one in the stomach, kicking and pushing each other on top of the open play structure ladder where the four year old could've easily been pushed off six feet down, and waving around sharp sticks inches from the younger boy's eyes - all the while yelling about killing, bombs, attacks, etc. Mind you, the younger boys I think were so excited to be included in the older boys' game that they put up with whatever.
I think the violent play is perfectly normal for the boys, even the younger ones. I think that it is normal for boys to use things they find around the playground like sticks and rocks. However, that does not mean that parents should ignore the behavior. If boys take sticks and use them as pretend guns, that is one thing. However parents need to put a stop to dangerous behavior like rock throwing and pushing on ladders. Rough play is totally normal but parents still need to teach boys that throwing rocks and pushing on ladders is dangerous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie
Now, I've never been one of those totally 'anti-toy-gun' moms, I get that boys are boys and they enjoy war games and such and I think it's fine to an extent - however, this seemed disturbingly violent to me, especially involving the preschoolers. My son loves boy things and rough-housing with dad and shooting with water guns, however he's never really been exposed to any sort of violent content, not even because we specifically shelter him but just because we don't bring it into the home - we don't have cable and he watches peaceful cartoons like PBS shows, Thomas, etc., we haven't bought him any toy weapons (I wouldn't freak if someone else did or if he asked for it specifically when older, but I won't take the initiative). He doesn't know what a grenade is, and I don't think he even knows that guns kill people, or what killing even really is. But watching these kids made me wonder, is this really normal for boys at that age, and is DS just overly sheltered? Is this what he's going to face in school or playground? Or was it just that particular group of kids? He goes to two preschools, and I've never seen any of the boys play this way.
I think that boys play rough. Boys with older brothers often engage in rough play earlier than boys who are the oldest or only boy in the family. Boys with older brothers are also often exposed to grenades, guns and the like earlier than boys who do not have older brothers.
We never let our boys play with guns or other weapons when they were very young. However, at some point they learned about guns and made guns out of sticks or out of their fingers. Our younger son was exposed to this type of behavior at a much younger age than the older ones.
I think that what you saw at the playground is pretty normal, but I do think that the parents should be actively engaged in teaching their boys safer conduct.
A couple of days ago, I was at the park with my almost 4 year old DS, and was watching a group of boys play - two about his age, I'm guessing younger brothers, and the rest about six or seven years old. The older boys were playing some sort of pretend war/battle game, which I understand for this age; but then I was kind of shocked to see the two little four years olds joining in - one grabbed a handful of rocks and started throwing them yelling that he's got 'bombs' and 'grenades' and is 'going to blow you up'. They all proceeded to run around 'play-fighting', which involved the older boys kicking the younger one in the stomach, kicking and pushing each other on top of the open play structure ladder where the four year old could've easily been pushed off six feet down, and waving around sharp sticks inches from the younger boy's eyes - all the while yelling about killing, bombs, attacks, etc. Mind you, the younger boys I think were so excited to be included in the older boys' game that they put up with whatever.
The boys' mothers however sat calmly on the bench chatting and seemed totally unperturbed.
Now, I've never been one of those totally 'anti-toy-gun' moms, I get that boys are boys and they enjoy war games and such and I think it's fine to an extent - however, this seemed disturbingly violent to me, especially involving the preschoolers. My son loves boy things and rough-housing with dad and shooting with water guns, however he's never really been exposed to any sort of violent content, not even because we specifically shelter him but just because we don't bring it into the home - we don't have cable and he watches peaceful cartoons like PBS shows, Thomas, etc., we haven't bought him any toy weapons (I wouldn't freak if someone else did or if he asked for it specifically when older, but I won't take the initiative). He doesn't know what a grenade is, and I don't think he even knows that guns kill people, or what killing even really is. But watching these kids made me wonder, is this really normal for boys at that age, and is DS just overly sheltered? Is this what he's going to face in school or playground? Or was it just that particular group of kids? He goes to two preschools, and I've never seen any of the boys play this way.
Yes, children play fight.
However, most do not kick little kids in the stomach, put younger children in danger (pushing on play structure), and swing sharpened sticks near the eyes of other children. Their mothers should be ashamed of themselves. Frankly I would be tempted, but wouldn't do it, to throw a handful of rocks at those moms. It sounds more like Lord of the Flies than a community playground.
This is not typical behavior at schools, day care centers or at playgrounds where the parents are actually watching their children.
They see it on TV, cartoons, comic books, video games. it's everywhere but i draw the line at actually punching and kicking other children. make believe is OK but I would never tolerate my child or another child possibly hurting anybody by the type of behavior you witnessed. I would remove my kid at once.
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