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My son is the same age as yours and makes the school cut off by 11 days. He is in K now and the youngest one. Trying to decide whether or not to repeat K.
I say get a free kindergarten readiness assessment from the public school and seek occupational therapy.
OP -- just my 2 cents. I went to a very exclusive private school (for the first three years). The teacher(s) wanted to keep me back a year. If my parents had followed her advice, I would have been the oldest kid in kindergarten. Instead, my parents pushed and pushed, and I became the youngest kid in kindergarten. While I had a high IQ, I just wasn't ready to move on both emotionally and physically. School was a real struggle for me for the next 12 years. I was always immature compared to my classmates. Doesn't mean that will happen to your child. Just something to think about.
Most of the time I agree with this advice (both because the same exact scenario happened to me personally and because as a teacher I've seen so many "young" kids pushed ahead with harmful results because of chronic immaturity and the frustrations that come with never quite being as adept, confident, coordinated or mature as the rest of the class), but in the OP's case, it seems like her child is going to be one of the older ones in the Kindergarten class anyway, and then they're suggesting holding him back an additional year. Having a child that much older can have the opposite effect--make the kid always feel like the big dunce, wonder why they're that much older and larger than classmates... plus holding a kid back just because they may or may not have ADD issues is just bad educational practice. He needs to be evaluated, and if necessary either treated or given interventions to get him up to speed, not just held back a year thinking somehow if it is that sort of issue, it's going to magically go away. Holding a kid back because they just genuinely were not ready over the broad scope of everything and there was no learning difference at play would be one thing. A bright kid who is ready to learn and just needs accommodation to do so is absolutely different.
Public schools do test and you don't have to be enrolled but their testing isn't as in depth as private testing as I mentioned earlier in the thread. The school will have the child assessed by the school counselor/special ed teacher/ot therapist. All excellent but to best help and understand your own son and to champion his cause, ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist that can give him full testing and a neurologist to see if he does have ADHD. Some pediatricians will diagnose and prescribe meds but for the first diagnosis, ask for a neurologist.
Last edited by momtothree; 10-25-2013 at 07:10 AM..
We are all different regardless of whether we have a particular disability. Maybe the little guy is just being a boy who needs to burn off energy. Maybe he won't go to college. Ask Bill Gates or the deceased Mr. Jobs how college worked for them. Childhood is more of a gamble and rolling the dice than a planned operation with dictated outcomes. I'd be careful with all of the "experts". No one knows your child better than you do. Evaluate the opinions however unproven they might be but go on your own instincts where your child is concerned. The BEST thing you can do is provide a loving home, a refuge from this nuts world we have given them. I'm betting he will work out just fine that is until the hormones start their assault.
Father of 3 sons all adults doing ok. All 3 different. One stacking cans in a grocery store (equivalent job) and one a physicist (who would have thought?).
Take your time and again, listen to your own instincts at decision time. No one cares for your child more than you do. NO ONE!
What is this, 1997? Why would you evaluate a 5 year old for ADD/ADHD? He might show signs, but it seems a bit early for a kid who might just be distracted and can't sit still and just turned 5. He seems to be behind in a few areas because a period of several months makes a difference at that age. Also, perhaps this a conversation best had in April, not October.
What is this, 1997? Why would you evaluate a 5 year old for ADD/ADHD? He might show signs, but it seems a bit early for a kid who might just be distracted and can't sit still and just turned 5. He seems to be behind in a few areas because a period of several months makes a difference at that age. Also, perhaps this a conversation best had in April, not October.
Some parents would like an answer one way or another. Just telling her if she wants, use a neurologist and not the pedi. The psychological testing on the other hand is an excellent tool in setting and learning how her child inputs things. It's important and can help her be more effective at home and at school.
YES, get the pediatrician involved. They may have some very good advice for you. Holding a late birthday boy back, to make him the oldest in the class instead of the youngest, is fine, but no more than that! If the school is saying that they see symptoms of ADHD, fine motor issues, etc, perhaps it's time to get an evaluation by a pediatric neuropsychologist, to see if he has significant deficits in specific areas. If so, he would qualify for additional special ed preschool through your town's public schools. Do NOT hold him back for two years. He will be a fish out of water in his grade, too old for the other kids, and has a significantly increased chance of dropping out of high school because he feels that he is too old to be there. If the issues are significant enough that the private nursery school is suggesting holding him back another year, get him evaluated, get him help, and keep him in the year where he is the oldest by one day, not by one year and one day. Also, keep in mind that the private school has a financial interest in holding him back, whereas the public school has a financial interest in pushing him through.
I haven't read all the comments, but i will give you a situation that happened to me years and years ago. My daughters kindergarten teacher said the same about her, hold her back, yadda yadda.....i didn't allow it. From first grade till graduating high school, my daughter was the top in her class and always made A's and B's. She was taking college courses in her junior year of high school. Kindergarten apparently wasn't her thing, LOL, or it bored her.
Now, as far as compared to the other kids, she was behind, absolutely. But, I didn't allow her to be left back , not in kindergarten. If I were you, i wouldn't let yours be either!!
If this boy turned 5 in October, he would not have been able to go to kindergarten in our state (Sept 1st cut off here). He is still young for kindergarten I think, but next year, he would be right on target, one of the older kids but still in his "right" age group. I don't see any reason not to send him next fall right now, which would be "on time" here, but, if he is still struggling at the end of the year, reconsider. He would be turning 19 when he goes off to college, not 20, which, again, is "on time' for most kids.
If the teacher and the principal are suggesting he needs more help and suggesting he possibly should be evaluated for ADHD, please do that, sooner rather than later. It is NOT illegal to suggest that, no matter what some people seem to think. The sooner he gets the help he needs, the faster he will catch up. Our Pediatrician is ADHD btw . It's not a death sentence for kids, it's just something they need to learn to deal with.
Hi, I have just read the original post here ... my daughter was the youngest in her kindergarten class (late August birthday) ... she was keeping up but struggling ... finally the teacher recommended that she repeat kindergarten, that it was better to do these things (hold them back) early rather than later ... that there would be much more stigma later on. Now about 6 or 7 years later ... I can't even imagine how she would have kept up if I hadn't had her repeat kindergarten. She is just where she should be socially, academically (well, pretty much a straight A student but not bored either) ... and she really has no other issues or learning problems, just for us it was the right decision. But ... it's just a very individual decision ...
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. It's not a death sentence for kids, it's just something they need to learn to deal with.
