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My nine-year old daughter is in 3rd grade and really big crush on a boy in her class. I accidentally came across a note that she wrote to this boy talking about how she really likes him, although I don't know if she actually has shown this to him. Is this normal? Should I have "the talk" with her about this? I'm just not sure what the best course of action is.
I recall having a crush on a boy at that age. I think it's fairly normal.
Before I brought it up , I would ask some general, gentle probing questions about her classmates, boys, friends, etc. to attempt to get her to "confess." If that is unsuccessful, you might mention the note to her and ask her about it to get more information.
Either way, you should tell her that it's a good thing to have many different kinds of friends, but that the boy may not feel the same way about her. Explain to her that he will probably just want to be her friend. 9 year old boys don't generally have crushes on girls.
I think you're over-thinking this a bit to be honest. Nothing wrong with that. It's a sign of a good parent who is trying to do the right thing with a her/his child. I just don't think much fuss is required here.
No need to rush to have "the talk" with her because of this crush. It's pretty unlikely she's going to rush out and start dating him. We never had "the talk" at our house. We had a series of ongoing talks that occurred naturally and were age appropriate. Often they were started because one of the kids had a question. I did provide them with some age appropriate books about puberty at some point. They were a taking off point for discussions.
I'd say the best course of action would be to do nothing.
If you say something to her, she will know you have been snooping, and that will lead to her not trusting you.
If you were NOT snooping (going through her things) and you found the note laying on a table or something out in the open then it's clearly not very important to her.
Looks like its time for the birds and bees. Kids who have crushes early tend to menstruate early, develop early so you better talk to her NOW before we see her on 16 and pregnant
Looks like its time for the birds and bees. Kids who have crushes early tend to menstruate early, develop early so you better talk to her NOW before we see her on 16 and pregnant
What?! Having a crush does not cause a girl to start puberty early. You've said some crazy things in your posts, but this is just... really?!
I remember as early as first grade and all the girls giggling about having crushes on certain boys. Some of us might have started puberty earlier then others, but it wasn't because we thought some boy in our class was cute.
Do you know the little boy in question? Perhaps you could encourage your daughter to invite several friends over - including her "crush" - for popcorn and a movie (at home) or some other event. If the weather were warmer, I'd suggest setting up the croquet set in the backyard, but maybe you could host a "first snow" celebration. Anything of this kind would allow you to assess the situation more clearly, and then go from there. It's likely to be nothing more than your daughter noticing a cute little boy who may - or more likely, may not - be paying her attention (teasing, most likely, considering their ages).
You might also see if your daughter's other little girl friends are starting to talk about certain boys being cute, etc. Peer influence can be strong at this age - and it gets stronger in the years ahead, so be prepared!
Also, does your daughter like "boy bands"?? I'd class her newfound crush in the same category.
Looks like its time for the birds and bees. Kids who have crushes early tend to menstruate early, develop early so you better talk to her NOW before we see her on 16 and pregnant
"One thing led to another and now she's 16 and pregnant."
lol hilarious, I had my first crush around this time, and that didn't happen to me :P
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Originally Posted by HopeStreet
My nine-year old daughter is in 3rd grade and really big crush on a boy in her class. I accidentally came across a note that she wrote to this boy talking about how she really likes him, although I don't know if she actually has shown this to him. Is this normal? Should I have "the talk" with her about this? I'm just not sure what the best course of action is.
I remember when I was in the 3rd grade, I had the biggest crush on this boy Mike. It's just a crush, I think crushes are normal for girls to have. They are young, and I don't think the talk is necessary!
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