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Old 07-01-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,355,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
She is a teacher, teaches Spanish. She lives in her own apartment. She owns a car, pays her bills like everyone else. Has friends from high school and college still. Still talks to her parents and siblings. Which part isnt normal?
Sounds like we know the same person! Actually, the one I know got a boyfriend at about age 26. She's very happy and doing all the "normal" things young adults this age do, most likely including having s*e*x.

 
Old 07-01-2014, 08:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PJA View Post
And you can have a normal traditional life without having multiple partners as well.
You absolutely can, but you're far less likely to be self-aware, sexually and relationship-wise in general, unless you hit the ultimate jack pot and your first partner is everything you could ever wish for (this, by the way, is idealistic far more than realistic). However, the woman in this situation is not even to a point of having a single partner.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlanderfil View Post
You absolutely can, but you're far less likely to be self-aware, sexually and relationship-wise in general, unless you hit the ultimate jack pot and your first partner is everything you could ever wish for (this, by the way, is idealistic far more than realistic). However, the woman in this situation is not even to a point of having a single partner.
It is hardly unusual to marry one's high school or college sweetheart and not have had a slew of partners.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 08:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
It is hardly unusual to marry one's high school or college sweetheart and not have had a slew of partners.
It isn't unusual but it's becoming more and more rare these days. It does happen, don't get me wrong, but usually those who marry their college sweethearts (HS is open to debate) will have at least kissed multiple people (i.e. allowed other people to get intimately close - it's more about the emotion than the physical expression thereof, so don't latch on to kissing specifically being evil - you can substitute any number of things there).

Also, what is with everyone reading "multiple" = "slew"? At which point in time do those two become synonymous to you? Is someone who has had sex with two people in her lifetime a "$lut" (seriously, we're going to sensor that?) by your standards since she's slept with a "slew" of different people? How about three? How about five?

Stop demonizing human contact, physical expressions of emotion and, indeed, sexual intercourse. I'm not advocating promiscuity, but it's baffling to me when people idealize fairy tale scenarios and try to pass them off as the social norm.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,355,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlanderfil View Post

Stop demonizing human contact, physical expressions of emotion and, indeed, sexual intercourse. I'm not advocating promiscuity, but it's baffling to me when people idealize fairy tale scenarios and try to pass them off as the social norm.
Who's doing that?
 
Old 07-01-2014, 09:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Who's doing that?
I wasn't responding specifically to you, which is why I separated that particular message into a line all its own. Plenty of people are doing just that (some in this thread), even if they won't come out and say it. It's not hard to infer - I specifically refer to the ones whose view of relationships is so black and white that it only allows either for complete innocence or a "slew" of partners.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 09:38 AM
 
Location: MO->MI->CA->TX->MA
7,022 posts, read 14,427,971 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pitt chick View Post
so how young do you want kids to begin having sex?
18
 
Old 07-01-2014, 09:45 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,051,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PJA View Post
Normal by whose standards? Today's society? 50 years ago this wouldn't have been looked at as strange...but now all of a sudden its abnormal and unhealthy.
Fifty years ago women who weren't married by 28 were considered (and called) Old Maids. I had an aunt who was unmarried at 26 and she got so much pressure she married the first guy who asked. Big mistake.

Ms. Magazine came out in 1972. It was about that time (which was when women took control of their own lives including sexuality) that terms like "Old Maid" went away. The interesting thing on this thread is the 28 year old who hasn't been kissed HAS taken control of her sexuality. By abstaining. Fifty years later..... that's what's different. Pendulums swing.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 09:48 AM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,635,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneFormula View Post
Asians do it.... Arabs do it...So do East Indian cultures.

It's perfectly fine to raise your child on strict values. At least that way you know that you have given them all the valuable information they need to survive and there will be no need to "explore". and definitely no repressed desires because they'' never miss what they never had.

This idea of "exploring" is what leads kids astray. and when that happens, the Parents are blamed anyway, so why not teach them strictly so they won't embarrass you later? or worse get themselves killed or thrown in prison trying to "explore"?

Only in American culture do Parents drop the ball and allow their kids to "explore".
While we're engaging in blatant stereotypes, many of the same cultures you mention murder girls in their families who get raped or marry them off to the highest bidder.

No thanks. I'd much rather my daughter be allowed to explore, make decisions for herself and live with the consequences from those decisions, good or bad. I'm not worried about her embarrassing me. I'm much more concerned that she grow up to be self-supporting and independent.
 
Old 07-01-2014, 09:58 AM
 
Location: MO->MI->CA->TX->MA
7,022 posts, read 14,427,971 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I think you're way off-base.
Kids with involved parents who know what they're doing do better than unsupervised kids who are allowed to run amok.
The whole "I was repressed so I went nuts in college" thing is a cliche and I actually didn't really see very much of it.
I had parents who were very strict and didn't allow me to get a job or have an allowance which meant I had no discretionary money to spend as a teen. First semester freshman year in college, I went amok with the money they provided me which shocked them. I didn't waste money on beer, drugs, expensive clothes, etc. but I did eat out every other day and bought a few upgrades for my computer which completely outraged them. They threatened to require me to save every single receipt that I spent and send them back to them every month but good thing they didn't go through with this. Next semester, I eventually got my spending down to a science - to have as much fun as possible without overspending (and thus be able to fly under the radar without parents raising an eyebrow.) This was the birth of the Frugality I continue to practice to this day for over a decade.

Despite parents being strict, they never monitored my internet usage when I was in high school (mostly because they weren't tech savvy enough.) I did discover porn at an early age but never really liked it and still don't dig it to this day.
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