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In my state, you have to evict adult children and even houseguests who wont leave. With no lease, it's considered a verbal month to month lease. You'd win but it would take time to evict via following the laws. An alternate legal route is to try to get the police to enforce trespassing laws, but most police won't get involved in domestic issues and will refer you to the court process, which in my state starts at the magistrate level.
Like I said, most families don't need the law because they're able to agree upon the terms of the living arrangement. Most adult children understand they can abide by their parents rules or move elsewhere. But if you need to get rid of an unwelcome guest, you really do have to go the legal route and evict. It's sort of maddening if you think about it. I have had many young adults (friends of my children) stay in my house for a few months here and there rent free. None of them ever had a problem with my rules and none of them ever overstayed their welcome. They were glad someone took them in and allowed them time to save money to get their own place. I can't imagine myself having to evict a guest because most people take me very seriously.
I didn't leave home at age 18 myself -- but there is no way I would have thought I could dictate the rules of my dad's home just because I was an adult still living there.
And same here, I've let my kids' friends stay here, weeks at a time because there were issues in their own homes, even when over age 18 but there was no question on either side that they were not going to be calling all the shots.
I've always let my kids know it's my house, my rules -- I'm the one responsible for all the bills, the house payment, taxes, etc. They know where the door is if they want to make their own rules.
My adult kids living with me are fine -- we don't have an issue -- in part because we have some rules. It was like in college with my roommates, we made rules to avoid the problems that other roommates were having with each other -- where they'd end up hating each other. Rules are actually what makes it bearable to live with others.
And it isn't just "wild" kids who might want to think they can decide all the rules. What if a Jewish or atheist family had an adult child who was born-again and decided to hold Bible study groups in the living room? Would those parents really have to sit by and tolerate it just because their adult child still lives with them?
I actually know a couple who had that situation. Their adult son started wanting to have Bible readings at the dinner table. They apparently illegally told him he could not.
Young people today face a much tougher economy than previous generations.
Bull. This economy is nothing like the crash of the steel industry in the early 80s when I graduated high school. And that was nothing like the Great Depression my parents grew up in. I'm getting tired of the younger generation acting like they have it so much worse off. I see a generation that whines and doesn't know how to rough it.
Bull. This economy is nothing like the crash of the steel industry in the early 80s when I graduated high school. And that was nothing like the Great Depression my parents grew up in. I'm getting tired of the younger generation acting like they have it so much worse off. I see a generation that whines and doesn't know how to rough it.
No -- it's harder today. Previous generations could pack up some clothes and get some used dishes, some old crates to make a book shelf, find some roommates to split expenses and move out. They would eat ramen noodles and macaroni.
Today kids have smart phones which might run them $100 a month, and they need internet service and cable television for their wide screen HDTV, another $100 --- already more than kids in the past spent on an apartment. They have credit cards that cost them every month, and electric bills that include refrigerated air conditioning. Used furniture, crates as bookshelves and some mismatched dinnerware simply won't do today. Eating out in restaurants for most of their meals adds up also. It costs a whole lot more to live now.
Bull. This economy is nothing like the crash of the steel industry in the early 80s when I graduated high school. And that was nothing like the Great Depression my parents grew up in. I'm getting tired of the younger generation acting like they have it so much worse off. I see a generation that whines and doesn't know how to rough it.
I don't. I do see a generation that believes everybody needs a college education to get anywhere, and graduates with debt and a challenging job market.
None(?) of us were alive, much less supporting a family during the great depression. I got married in the 80's, had a great job, and was able to buy a house, in NJ no less, shortly after the wedding.
My kids have done ok, but that's largely because we could afford to sent them to school. Even so, they are now busy in med school, and applying to grad school. That debt will be on them. None of them will have the standard of living we had, as early as we were able to.
No -- it's harder today. Previous generations could pack up some clothes and get some used dishes, some old crates to make a book shelf, find some roommates to split expenses and move out. They would eat ramen noodles and macaroni.
Today kids have smart phones which might run them $100 a month, and they need internet service and cable television for their wide screen HDTV, another $100 --- already more than kids in the past spent on an apartment. They have credit cards that cost them every month, and electric bills that include refrigerated air conditioning. Used furniture, crates as bookshelves and some mismatched dinnerware simply won't do today. Eating out in restaurants for most of their meals adds up also. It costs a whole lot more to live now.
That's my point. They don't need those things. Love your sarcasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
None(?) of us were alive, much less supporting a family during the great depression. I got married in the 80's, had a great job, and was able to buy a house, in NJ no less, shortly after the wedding.
The crash of the steel industry in the 70s and early 80s created a severe depression in Pittsburgh. In the rest of the country it was just a recession but was worse than today's recession. The late 80s and early 90s are when the economy picked up. In my world, six 20 year olds shared an apartment and lived like malamute describes. That was the norm for 20 to 25 year olds in the early 80s. They did without. They did their own auto body work and those who couldn't used bumper stickers to cover holes to pass inspection.
Maybe you're older than me. I thought we were the same age. If you got married in the early 80s, it would have been while you were still in high school or immediately after graduating high school. If you didn't marry and buy a house until the late 80s, then that makes sense because the economy really started to pick up at that time. It's also possible you were an exception because that sure wasn't the reality my generation had in my region of the country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
My kids have done ok, but that's largely because we could afford to sent them to school. Even so, they are now busy in med school, and applying to grad school. That debt will be on them. None of them will have the standard of living we had, as early as we were able to.
They are choosing to take on that debt. It's no different than doctors from past generations. My doctor is my age. He and his wife are still paying student loans.
Do you have a source for those laws that say that you cannot make any rules for your household if you have an adult child living there who is contributing something to the household expenses?
For example, you don't want smoking in your home, but your child wants to throw parties and his guests want to smoke -- you cannot set a single rule? And you cannot just evict him but have to go through a legal process which you might not win?
I didn't say that you cannot make any rules. What I said is that if your child becomes a renter landlord/tenant laws apply. There are some rules landlords can make and others they cannot. Those rules vary by state.
In most states you have to go through a legal process to evict an adult from their home whether they pay rent or not.
I actually know a couple who had that situation. Their adult son started wanting to have Bible readings at the dinner table. They apparently illegally told him he could not.
Nobody here (meaning me) said this was illegal. What I said is that if your child pays rent then landlord/tenant laws apply. If your child pays rent then you take on the responsibility of being a landlord and the law applies to you. Every state has different landlord/tenant laws.
Nobody here (meaning me) said this was illegal. What I said is that if your child pays rent then landlord/tenant laws apply. If your child pays rent then you take on the responsibility of being a landlord and the law applies to you. Every state has different landlord/tenant laws.
Even if the "rent" is ridiculously low and is really just to contribute something to household costs?
I didn't say that you cannot make any rules. What I said is that if your child becomes a renter landlord/tenant laws apply. There are some rules landlords can make and others they cannot. Those rules vary by state.
In most states you have to go through a legal process to evict an adult from their home whether they pay rent or not.
I have read enough threads on C-D about people trying to evict deadbeat relatives that it must be a real problem at times.
Some of the stories were real heartbreakers. People trying to help down and out siblings or children and then being seriously taken advantage of by those same relatives.
Even if the "rent" is ridiculously low and is really just to contribute something to household costs?
I'm not a lawyer but I believe that once you take money for someone to live in your house you become a landlord and subject to landlord tenant law in your state. You have to consult a real lawyer if you want a true legal opinion but I do not think the value of the rent matters.
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