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I once read that in Japan, some mothers are so devoted to their children, they will even show up to school and spend the whole day there, taking notes, getting the homework assignments for them, then when they come home from school, the mother is working with the child to make sure the child understands everything and completes the assignment.
The fact that this is done in Japan is somehow evidence that it is a Good Thing?
OP is talking about elementary school, however, why about as these kids get older? This involvement doesn't just disappear. I am not a parent btw.
Anyway IMO Parent B is an extreme case and from my experience these "coddled" children are not too self sufficient by the time they are my age (college freshman) I think it's important to be there for your child when they need it, like Parent A. I believe my roommate was more of a B situation child. For 2 months her mother came banging on the door at 9 am every Saturday morning and sometime during the week. She welcomed the visits.
Other times, she calls her mother to come do her hair. She doesn't spend money because her mom will get mad-despite the fact that she works close to 30 hours a week. Her mom doesn't want her to work so bad that she is taking away her car next semester. This came up bc my roommate called mom during break (as she always does- I don't see this as a prob btw) saying she didn't feel too good so mom said " you shouldn't be working!!" The girl only had a headache.
She cannot dye her hair without speaking to mom, She can't call the bank without asking mom, she can't look for other schools without mom.
Maybe I have a skewed perception of things bc I am only 18 but its crazy how we are so different. For as long as I can remember ( and what my mom tell me) I've always been independent. My mom would help with my HW when I asked and would look It over when she had to sign it. She helped me sell candy for school but she always said handling the money and keeping it safe was my job.
At 15 y.o I took upon myself to put a babysitting ad up. I ran it by her (bc she was my ride) and she took me where I needed to be. At 16 when I got a car I began babysitting more families, got an actual job and was barely home tbh. Since then I've saved 3000$$. I opened up my own bank account by my school when I realized my bank was nowhere nearby. I do things like pierce my ear and dye my hair on my own.
I have been working in childcare/ with children for about 4 years and I've been old parents who are like Parent B believe that this will strengthen the relationship they have with their child but I feel like my relationship with my mom is great because she want overly involved. I do more than a lot of my friends and I believe that I have been successful because my mom has allowed me to make my own choices, thus learning how to "fend for myself" was inevitable.
I am able to do my own work, and make my own decisions bc my mom did not have me locked under her wing.
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