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I was a cool hip young parent, (I like to think) but I also know right from wrong, so no, nothing like that was ever happening in my household.
Drugs and alcohol in the house, um, don't think so.
remember you are the parent, you set the rules.
A famous line from Judy Judy: You say yes, I say no, I win, I'm the judge.
same goes to parents.
You say yes, I say no, I win, I'm the father.
I actually feel sorry for people that have home lives like that. .
My SIL is a classic example. 3 older kids and one young teen, so far 3 losers, and the younger one wants to be a tattoo artist, ( oh yeah, a real future in that) None of them amounted to anything, because she always made excuses for them and paid for everything, yet had no money and she and her dumb husband are still paying thier kids cell phones and car insurance, and 3 of the kids are in their 20's. They don't realize they are not helping the kids at all.
I can understand the drugs thing, except for pot because it's gonna be legal very soon I can feel it.
What's wrong with alcohol in the house?
My mom kept alcohol in the house. I kept mine there too. I always got a ride if I was plastered and I never got violent drunk. My brother is allowed to drink at home too, he's 19. If he drinks he's not allowed to leave.
And as someone who is 420 friendly, I see nothing wrong with that either as long as it's done outside if the home owner doesn't want it smoked in the house.
Now if I had a 20 year old making meth or doing coke off my coffee table I'd have a huge issue with that.
Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
Tell him very gently, when you are *not* arguing that it is time for him to become a man. You will give him 30 days to make other living arrangements and at that time you will change the locks and place all of his personal belongings on the lawn.
If he causes you any problems then call the police. By the way, unless you live in Colorado or some other state where marijuana is decriminalized, you should have called the police THE INSTANT you found the drug in your house. And last I checked threatening you with violence is a crime as well.
....and keep them from going with the wrong crowd, or trying alcohol/drugs. (i don't know if you know this or not, but it IS possible not to have had bad friends, and never to have done any substances! ie. drugs and alcohol.)
I for one never did and i know plenty of people with good, responsible parents who also did not.
Moderator Cut
Different people live by different standards as to what is "good parenting."
As to the OP, get him out of there now. He is a danger to you and the younger kids. Next time he comes home and starts his yelling, etc. call the police. Sometimes you need to make tough choices. This will be one. If it makes you feel better, tell him that you will call the police next time.
Last edited by Jaded; 01-12-2014 at 09:03 PM..
Reason: Off-topic
I can understand the drugs thing, except for pot because it's gonna be legal very soon I can feel it.
What's wrong with alcohol in the house?
My mom kept alcohol in the house. I kept mine there too. I always got a ride if I was plastered and I never got violent drunk. My brother is allowed to drink at home too, he's 19. If he drinks he's not allowed to leave.
And as someone who is 420 friendly, I see nothing wrong with that either as long as it's done outside if the home owner doesn't want it smoked in the house.
Now if I had a 20 year old making meth or doing coke off my coffee table I'd have a huge issue with that.
He's 20 so he's not of legal drinking age. That's the problem. Pot is illegal in 48 states. That's the problem. Whether or not you think it is ok is irrelevant. This mom doesn't want her underage son drinking or doing illegal drugs in her house. There is nothing wrong with that. She could get in trouble for having it in the house she owns. She's not being unreasonable.
He's 20 so he's not of legal drinking age. That's the problem. Pot is illegal in 48 states. That's the problem. Whether or not you think it is ok is irrelevant. This mom doesn't want her underage son drinking or doing illegal drugs in her house. There is nothing wrong with that. She could get in trouble for having it in the house she owns. She's not being unreasonable.
He's 20, so he can legally make the decision to drink underage.
And he's probably going to be 21 soon so what does it matter if he stopped drinking for a few months just to start again.
Even in the state I'm in now everyone I know smokes.
55% of the us is for marijuana, it's been all over the news.
Txtqueen, you don't get it. He is doing it illegally NOW in her house. He is not paying rent, is disrespectful towards her, destroys property, and all of this sets a bad example for her other younger children. Whether 100% of people think mj is ok matters not. It doesn't matter if he stops drinking now and begins again in a few months - what has that to do with his behavior?
OP, ignore the rantings of a child, your son is disrespectful aside from all the other issues. Tell him he has 2 hours to get all of his illegal, drug-related paraphernalia and drugs out of the house or you will ask for the police to help you locate them. Tell him he can leave with his drugs, but his time is up for abusing you.
He's 20, so he can legally make the decision to drink underage.
And he's probably going to be 21 soon so what does it matter if he stopped drinking for a few months just to start again.
Even in the state I'm in now everyone I know smokes.
55% of the us is for marijuana, it's been all over the news.
He can make that decision when he pays rent in his own place. I see you haven't learned much in the, what, 5 years or so we've been telling you that. It doesn't matter at all what 55% of the US does, or what you do, or what everyone you know does. At all. All that matters is that mom owns the house and she doesn't want it. I'm not here to argue the merits of legalizing marijuana. I don't even disagree with most of what you said. That isn't the point of this thread. The point is an adult living at home for free, disrespecting his mother.
Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
IS he gone yet?? Stop feeding him, give him the classifieds section of the paper and open the front door and point the way!
Problem solved.
Exactly. Pot is largely accepted by a lot of people.
A lot of people that smoke are very very successful.
I work 40+ a week, I pay all my own bills, utilities car ins, cell etc, I'm also the primary income right now.
I smoke everyday after work and all day on the weekends unless I go somewhere.
I'm doing more than great.
Pot isn't the gateway drug STRAIGHT TO HELL....
It's better than alcohol, alcohol doesn't even have a medicinal purpose alcohol does.
I can see why you filled in what you did for your location.
He has serious problems; have you tried getting him help? If not, things may really spiral out of control. Seems like you have a good heart. Sometimes it is tough to know what to do.
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) but I also know right from wrong, so no, nothing like that was ever happening in my household.
