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Old 01-07-2014, 08:08 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,192 times
Reputation: 10
Default I need to get my 20 year old son out of my house!

Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
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Old 01-07-2014, 08:50 AM
 
1,289 posts, read 783,853 times
Reputation: 1864
Depends where you live. You might have to legally evict him, since he's been living there for years. This involves going to court. Look at the state landlord tenant laws where you live. He really does need to go - this is dangerous for you and the little ones.

Another option is to confiscate his weed and alcohol, then with the support of some big male relatives/friends tell him flat out that he needs to go NOW - pack his bags for him, and have him leave while the adult males are there, and you change the locks immediately - or you will call the police to report him for domestic violence, underage drinking, and marijuana possession. I'm sure he has friends he can bunk with until he gets his own place. If he is driving one of your cars, make sure you have all the keys and take the car and park it someplace else while you are doing this. If his cell phone is on your plan, cut it off. Cut all the financial support. If he's on your health insurance, leave that in place, because if he gets very sick or injured, you'd probably wind up paying his bills so that he could get care.

You're living with an abusive adult male. You've got to get him out of there for the safety of you and the kids.
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Old 01-07-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
11,848 posts, read 10,269,706 times
Reputation: 12941
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
That's me too. I absolutely LOVE having my kids around. My youngest graduated from college in May and just found a job. He's been working hard on finding one but it's hard in this market. I am thrilled for him, but I also know that means he will soon be moving out and that makes me sad. He makes me laugh everyday that he's here. My dh and I have never enjoyed the ''empty nest'' thing. Our kids are great people who are we love spending time with.

OMG, me too!!!

I think it is horrible when I hear parents that want to "kick" their kids out. It actually makes me sad. Unless the kids are terrible people, but I just cant imagine saying, I want to kick my kids out, like they are animals.

I am truly lucky then to have of done a good job with my sons, as they are all college graduates now and living on their own, hopefully soon I will be a "Papou", I can't wait for that...

But it was fun having them around, I miss them that they are all gone. It was even fun when thier girlfriends would come over, the house was always so liveley, but I know now they are adults and must make a life for themselves.....


I had rules in the house, and there was no negotiations, well maybe sometimes, but all in all, there was nothing that was so horrible.
I just didn't allow any overnight guest ever, and no drinking, not happening.

they survived.
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Old 01-07-2014, 01:48 PM
 
496 posts, read 185,500 times
Reputation: 932
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
Depends where you live. You might have to legally evict him, since he's been living there for years. This involves going to court. Look at the state landlord tenant laws where you live. He really does need to go - this is dangerous for you and the little ones.

Another option is to confiscate his weed and alcohol, then with the support of some big male relatives/friends tell him flat out that he needs to go NOW - pack his bags for him, and have him leave while the adult males are there, and you change the locks immediately - or you will call the police to report him for domestic violence, underage drinking, and marijuana possession. I'm sure he has friends he can bunk with until he gets his own place. If he is driving one of your cars, make sure you have all the keys and take the car and park it someplace else while you are doing this. If his cell phone is on your plan, cut it off. Cut all the financial support. If he's on your health insurance, leave that in place, because if he gets very sick or injured, you'd probably wind up paying his bills so that he could get care.

You're living with an abusive adult male. You've got to get him out of there for the safety of you and the kids.
I got a better idea. Next time he is out, move everything from his room outside then change the locks!
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Old 01-07-2014, 10:01 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 32,237,646 times
Reputation: 21458
Quote:
Originally Posted by leenini01 View Post
Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
Yes, not only legal but it would be the best thing for him. He seriously needs to grow up, start paying his own way for everything. You don't have to put up with this. In some states, he might be able to fight to stay but then you just need to get him evicted. However since he's violent, you can call the police when he's destroying your property and get a protective order. He has no right at all to punch holes in the walls of your home. You should take legal action.
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Old 01-07-2014, 10:03 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 32,237,646 times
Reputation: 21458
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
OMG, me too!!!

I think it is horrible when I hear parents that want to "kick" their kids out. It actually makes me sad. Unless the kids are terrible people, but I just cant imagine saying, I want to kick my kids out, like they are animals.

I am truly lucky then to have of done a good job with my sons, as they are all college graduates now and living on their own, hopefully soon I will be a "Papou", I can't wait for that...

But it was fun having them around, I miss them that they are all gone. It was even fun when thier girlfriends would come over, the house was always so liveley, but I know now they are adults and must make a life for themselves.....


I had rules in the house, and there was no negotiations, well maybe sometimes, but all in all, there was nothing that was so horrible.
I just didn't allow any overnight guest ever, and no drinking, not happening.

they survived.
Me too -- I'll hate to see them go -- but I think it's actually having firm rules that make it enjoyable to have them around. Kids who respect their parents, respect the rules the parents have made for their home are much nicer people.
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,914 posts, read 4,745,230 times
Reputation: 18977
Quote:
Originally Posted by leenini01 View Post
Is it legal to kick out your 20 yr old because he is a pot head, I find **** in my house, alcohol in my house, he punches holes in my walls calls me every name in the book infront of my 7 and 8 year old.....I want him out...he has a dad to go live with??
Sounds like a good time to send his arse packing! Good grief, why wouldn't it be legal? The next time he flips out on you, call the cops and have him removed from the property. Don't put up with his crap. All you're doing is reinforcing bad behavior and he's not having to deal with consequences for his actions. Good grief, throw his crap in trash bags and show him whose house it really is! Punching HOLES in the walls and threatening you? Good grief, are you kidding? ....and he's still THERE!?
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,914 posts, read 4,745,230 times
Reputation: 18977
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Me too -- I'll hate to see them go -- but I think it's actually having firm rules that make it enjoyable to have them around. Kids who respect their parents, respect the rules the parents have made for their home are much nicer people.
Absolutely!
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Old 01-10-2014, 09:36 AM
 
1,500 posts, read 1,221,119 times
Reputation: 917
Quote:
Originally Posted by leenini01 View Post
Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
i don't know if you can get him out or not....but i have no sympathy for people with such problems because i believe kids turn out how you raise them, and it sounds like in your case, that's a big FAIL!
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Old 01-10-2014, 10:07 AM
 
2,187 posts, read 1,075,116 times
Reputation: 4306
A terrible adult child is not always the result of poor parenting, there are people with several well-raised children and one bad apple. School experiences/socializing, personality, and mental wellness all factor into the decisions that children eventually make, and if they start doing things like drugs and alcohol, it can really spiral from there.

The OP can ask him to leave. If he refuses, OP can have him legally evicted. Call the police every time he has a dangerous outburst of destruction, you find weed in your house, etc. Right now, you are on the path to enabling his behaviour and he knows he can disrespect you because you won't do anything about it. Evict him.

He will probably be gone by the afternoon if you make sure to call the police on his weed.
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