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Wife and I had our first (and last) child three months ago. I am 42 and she is 40. No complications whatsoever. A textbook perfect delivery and a very healthy and happy boy. And no need for any treatments or donors. Just ole fashioned stork stuff.
But...we were well aware that this was the now or never moment. You realize that as well, which is good. But if your husband is not into it, you are going to have problems.
Follow your heart......I know it's easier said then done. I had my first child at the age of 41, and I haven't looked back. I am a single parent, and I have no help from the father but you are not alone. There are so many people out there who will be willing to help and offer assistance to you. I found that out. I was told I could never have children, so I feel my little boy who is now six years old is my biggest blessing in life. I'm not going to tell you it's easy it's not but what joy it is when he put's his little arms around me and kiss's me and tell me he loves me. I know I made the right decison. God Bless and if you ever need to talk please email me. ...sjones@tandt.com...Take care
Something to think about from the other side ... I was born late in life to my parents. There is 17 years difference between me and my sister and my parents were in their 40's when I came along.
My parents were wonderful people that I loved dearly. They passed away within five years of each other and it still hurts. They never got to know my children or see them grow up. I have always felt I didn't have them long enough. Due to the age difference I was never close to my siblings as I grew up with their children (my nieces and nephews.)
My husband definitely doesn't want a child. If I had one, it would be without him. He made that clear.
...
I'm so confused. I have a lot to think about.
I'd recommend counseling. You are willing to give up your husband for an ephemeral, "don't want to have any regrets", notion? Reaching middle-age is a time for reflection. Some look at careers or choices they wished they'd done different. Sometimes you can make a mid-life switch and do something totally new. But giving up a husband and becoming a mother is probably the biggest life change you can make.
And <putting on flameproof suit> I sincerely hope you have the principles to not *oops* him. Some women have the notion that once the unwanted becomes actual, the father will magically turn into fatuous daddy material. I've heard of that happening (probably with more a sense of resignation than joy), but it's a dirty thing to do.
Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear that your dh isn't willing to go along with the idea. I am confused, how will you have a child without his cooperation? Obviously you don't need his sperm to conceive, but would you divorce, or continue to live as a married couple? There are some obvious difficulties if you plan to remain together with a child that he does not want. That's very sad, I agree that counseling for the two of you would be a good idea.
I unexpectedly had our third child a few weeks after I turned 40, our oldest children at that time were 12 and 14. As someone else already said earlier, at first it was great, I had more patience than I did with the first two, etc. Now he'll be four in January, and I find myself just emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I'm a SAHM and he's very clingy, and wants me by his side every waking moment. Sometimes I feel like I've spent my whole adult life taking care of children. Wait a minute, I have, lol. For me it's different because of that, for you it would just be starting. I think if you really want a child, and are willing to sacrifice your marriage, you should give it serious consideration. But first, I would try counseling with your dh. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I have to agree with the other people wondering why you are so interested in a child even though it might mean saying goodbye to your husband? What sort of environment is that to bring a baby into? Dad out of the picture? Mom wanting a baby out of the blue..? Surely you knew your husband was not into kids (I believe you said something like that in your post). There is nothing worse for a child not to be 'wanted.' Being a mother is wonderful but imagine your baby knowing "dad and mom broke up because of me." or "Dad didn't want me.."
I also suggest counseling. Maybe you can get to the root of your feelings or perhaps work things out with your husband. What would you do if the tables were turned and he was the one (after you both agreed on no children) to say "Let's have a baby now or I am leaving you for a woman who will..?"
I see that most of you understand and got what I was saying. Besides a couple judgmental and assuming odd posts toward the end, I want to thank the rest of you guys who have responded to my post.
It's nice to know that some of you decided to have children later in life with no regrets. We have someone on here with twins and someone on here who just had a baby boy. Congratulations to all of you.
I'm doing a lot of research on the internet and I have found out that my situation is not uncommon. So, I feel "normal". LOL!!!
I'm open with my husband regarding this and he made it very clear that he doesn't want any children. He understands my feelings and my wanting of them. He understands that if it came down to me really wanting children then we would obviously divorce.
So I'm thinking it all through and nothing ever is perfect but I'm not going to be unhappy in a relationship yearning for a child. I haven't decided either way yet. I'm in the beginning stages but at my age, time is ticking.
I've been thinking lately about maybe having a child. Having one naturally with my husband or adopting. The thing is, I'm almost 42. I know women these days have children in there 40's (Halle Berry etc.) But I was wondering if anyone on this board has had one later in life and could tell me about any feelings or issues that came about? My husband doesn't want kids but just lately I've been questioning my decision to not have them and this would be the time to really make a decision before it's too late and I regret it.
Thanks!
My wife had one at 29 , 38 and 42, the first was definately the easiest, but she had no problems on the second two, having said that we have decided to be satisfied with three sons and not try for that little girl she always wanted.
I also wanted to add that if there are any parents out there that decided to have any children over the age of 40, please comment on your experience.
Thanks!
We get the typical comments from people I am 47 with a one year old, my wife will be 42 this month, she was pregnant the same time as the daughter of freinds that I went to school with, I am bucking for the youngest child award at my 30 year class reunion next year! People give you that wide eyed look , when you tell them its not your grand child and you just tell them yeah I know, already did the math and I'm ok with it!
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God Bless and if you ever need to talk please email me. 
Reaching middle-age is a time for reflection. Some look at careers or choices they wished they'd done different. Sometimes you can make a mid-life switch and do something totally new. But giving up a husband and becoming a mother is probably the biggest life change you can make. 
