Morning routine has become absolute hell (daycare, ideas, punishments, teenage)
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First, is she getting enough sleep? Secondly, are you waking her up early enough to help adjust to waking up? Some people are just not morning people and need enough time to get going. My 4 year old gets up at 7:15 even though his preschool starts at 9:00. This gives him plenty of time to wake up and relax, eat, brush teeth, and put clothes on WITHOUT rushing. Thirdly, are you the one getting her dressed or can she dress herself? You should definitely have her pick out her clothes the night before and set a routine so that things are predictable and she can be more independent.
I know it's frustrating to be patient in the AM but it's important for to allow her enough time to do this these without rushing. So, if it means getting up earlier than I would do it.
Tantrums are normal for 3 year olds but it doesnt mean you should put up with it on a regular basis. Be firm and follow through with all threats. You can do this cleverly at times. For example, my son was acting out last night near his bedtime. This was a perfect time to follow through with a "if you don't stop then you're going yo bed" threat because it's bedtime anyway.
Agree with this.
Make sure she has enough sleep.
Make sure that she has enough time to wake up, at her pace.
Maybe she is missing you and doesn't want to be away from you so much. How long is she at daycare?
Maybe when things are not so "heat of the moment" - like the weekend, you could have a conversation with your kiddo about being a big girl and the morning routine. Also, maybe an increase in 1:1 quality time in the evenings would help ease things?
A calm and relaxing bedtime routine that helps her get to sleep may make for a more pleasant morning. Maybe a 15 minute earlier wake up time, and fit in 15 minutes of sitting together and talking or eating breakfast together?
Sometimes my son would act up during the morning routine, and it was partly because he missed us during the day. We made some special 1:1 time before and after work, and it helped a lot. :-)
Here's what used to work with my son: Make it a game. Say: Let's see if you can get dressed in time I count to 10! Keep a certain rhythm that reminds her that the clock is ticking, but not too fast to make her think she can never beat the clock. Then when she does beat the clock, a big cheer (like on a radio game); when she doesn't - booo-ooo. (Well, my son turned into a sore loser after a while so I always had to make sure he won. I didn't mind since the game still kept him moving and getting dressed quickly).
Or maybe a plain old-fashioned sticker chart? You get a sticker for each trouble-free morning, and if you've gathered a weekload of stickers, you get to go the toy store and pick something. I know it can go against the grain for many people to reward a child for things they should be doing in the normal course of life anyway, but hey, ultimately you do what works. There are tough mornings in my family when only way I can get my son to school is to promise that there's a surprise waiting for him when he gets home. A Lego minifigure will suffice. And it doesn't happen all that often.
We've tried taking things away, but it doesn't seem to have a huge effect. Maybe I need to try it a different way or something. I refuse to bribe her with food because that just enforces bad eating habits.
I second the idea about wearing her clothes to bed - I also found that if I put my son's clothes on him the second he woke up, before getting out of bed, then he was pretty cooperative.
I've thought about this. No one cares if her clothes are wrinkled. Still, it wouldn't address the root issue at hand. It would definitely make things easier though.
Actually it might, the mind of a 3 year old can be complicated and yet simplistic in nature. Her fits may have everything to do with she wants to get herself ready
I raised an extremely strong willed child. I have a lot of gray hair but I learned very early on to pick my battles and pick them well. I don't like to lose and I refuse to spend all waking hours engaged in battle with my child.
I completely agree with giving her full control. An alarm clock is an excellent idea. She needs to be warned that when it is time to leave, you are leaving with her in whatever state of dress she is in.
As she gets used to self managing she may need reminders of the time she has used up and how much she has left, she is after all only 3.
Couple of books that we used:
The Strong Willed Child and Dare to Discipline. Both were written by Dr. James Dobson and are Christian based but they have great tips
First, is she getting enough sleep? Secondly, are you waking her up early enough to help adjust to waking up? Some people are just not morning people and need enough time to get going. My 4 year old gets up at 7:15 even though his preschool starts at 9:00. This gives him plenty of time to wake up and relax, eat, brush teeth, and put clothes on WITHOUT rushing. Thirdly, are you the one getting her dressed or can she dress herself? You should definitely have her pick out her clothes the night before and set a routine so that things are predictable and she can be more independent.
I know it's frustrating to be patient in the AM but it's important for to allow her enough time to do this these without rushing. So, if it means getting up earlier than I would do it. ...
I can't agree enough with the sleep issue. My kids are completely different if they're getting good quality sleep. One of them still sleeps 11 hours at 8 years old! For him, getting to bed on time was item one. At that age, we'd get him dressed as soon as he woke up (he'd do most of it, but I'd assist) - he was most drowsy and cooperative then. After he woke up more fully, it seemed to become more of an issue. I'd offer him a choice between outfits and then we'd eat a yummy breakfast.
Are you getting enough sleep? It might help lengthen your tolerance for her behavior. So might planning to leave twenty minutes ahead of schedule for awhile. If you succeed, you can spend longer on the drive in talking or singing along to the radio, right?
I've thought about this. No one cares if her clothes are wrinkled. Still, it wouldn't address the root issue at hand. It would definitely make things easier though.
I'd do it. I wouldn't worry about the root issue right now. It will take care of itself in time. Meanwhile, you can have a more relaxed morning.
When it is time to go, take her in whatever she is wearing. Carry her coat and other things in so she isn't cold at recess. Don't make it a big power struggle. Make a visual chart where she can see everything she has to do in the morning. Lay out clothes the night before. Give her some choices so she feels like she has some power. Let her choose between the pink shirt and the red shirt, or pick which hat she wants to wear.
This seems like a lot of random suggestions, but I know because I have tried them all. When my son was about 4-5, mornings were impossible. No matter how much time we had, he was never ready on time. I constantly had to be "on" him. Apparently, he had trouble with transitions. To make things go smoother, tell her ahead of time what is going to happen next. "The timer will go off in 2 minutes and that will mean breakfast is over. When breakfast is over it will be time to get dressed" etc.
Solution-moved their car seat into their room, got them dressed, buckled them into it all. Drug the car seat into the front room, breakfast was buckled in. moved them to car.
Gave them a choice of doing it that way, or going back to the other way. They wanted the other way.
no way. Those seats are heavy and every time you take it out and re-install it is a chance that it doesn't get done properly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hickory patrick
ugh, Im Mr Mom in the AM for my 2 girls this last 8 years, youngest is 5 now...few things to try is lay out more than one option for her to wear, and let her pick, making her feel as it's her call... and be sure to praise her if she picks.. also need to do rewards if she does good and take away if she is not... their has to be goals and penalty's .. sucks at first but once on track it's smooth sailing... been their done that..
No, you are "Dad."
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no way. Those seats are heavy and every time you take it out and re-install it is a chance that it doesn't get done properly. 
