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Old 02-08-2014, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
40 posts, read 10,027 times
Reputation: 29

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Thanks for all your help. The reason he is struggling is because he is in "accelerated English" and wih Common core Standards, they can only spend one day on a topic because they are learning 10-11th grade stuff.
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Old 02-09-2014, 12:02 AM
 
1,190 posts, read 493,767 times
Reputation: 913
Glad we could help solve the mystery. Best wishes.
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Old 02-09-2014, 05:14 AM
 
1,330 posts, read 454,358 times
Reputation: 815
Be strict; this is just a tantrum. I'm studying to be a teacher, and the rule is, "be friendly, but don't ever be their friend." Like it or not, they have plenty of friends, and, even they don't, they have to come up to your level; you never come down to theirs. You are the role model and teacher. They may say that they hate you and your ways, but, nine times out of ten, if you stick to your rules, they will grow up and embrace many of the values they were taught at home. If you give in, though, you are simply teaching your child that being lazy and demanding is a good way to get what he wants out of life; that's a horrible lesson.
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Old 02-09-2014, 05:24 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
5,782 posts, read 8,993,916 times
Reputation: 14284
Our son threatened to "run away" once...much younger than your son's age tho...think it was about 8 or 9.

Told him he was welcome to go, but had to leave EVERYTHING behind...including the clothes he was wearing. Told him God gave him to us buck A$$ naked, and if it was his desire to leave before we were done raising him then he was leaving the same way we got him. He never mentioned it again....
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Old 02-09-2014, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,445,044 times
Reputation: 19165
Beera, love your story. Good for you!

When I was 20 and hubby was 24, his little brother started running away, staying out all night and partying. Hubby's mom got incredibly angry with us when we told him he could come stay with us for a little while. She thought we were just enabling her "soon to be 16" son. They all got quite the surprise. Things were much stricter at OUR house for him, than it had been at home with his parents. He HAD to do homework. He had CHORES, for the first time in his life! He could not go to drinking parties. He was not allowed to drink at our home, either. Things did not go as he imagined they would and after less than 2 weeks, he decided to go back home.
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Old 02-09-2014, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
5,849 posts, read 3,886,527 times
Reputation: 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paka View Post
Our son threatened to "run away" once...much younger than your son's age tho...think it was about 8 or 9.

Told him he was welcome to go, but had to leave EVERYTHING behind...including the clothes he was wearing. Told him God gave him to us buck A$$ naked, and if it was his desire to leave before we were done raising him then he was leaving the same way we got him. He never mentioned it again....
I have never heard that strategy before but it seems like a very good one. That sounds like a better approach than parents that offer to pack a suitcase & a sandwich as it really makes children/young teens realize how they do not actually own anything at all and have very limited resources.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,445,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I have never heard that strategy before but it seems like a very good one. That sounds like a better approach than parents that offer to pack a suitcase & a sandwich as it really makes children/young teens realize how they do not actually own anything at all and have very limited resources.

Yeah....hahahaha...

It kinda takes the wind out of your sails, when you realize that ....well, you really have NOTHING! Generally, they're just running away. They don't even have a plan! LOL

Some, actually do come up with a plan, "I'll just go stay with so and so. My BF said, '"My mom would probably be okay with it."' The trouble is....once they leave the house and get to BF's house....ole mom or dad, turns out, is totally NOT okay with it. Oops!
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,445,044 times
Reputation: 19165
Quote:
Originally Posted by debtmonger View Post
When a teenager says they hate you... they really don't. The are using that word as a weapon to get what they want. They just aren't mature enough to understand how that word hurts. They will regret it later in life. Sticking cotton in your ears might help for the next few years.
I agree with your posts...except for the bolded text. This statement is wrong. Believe me, they DO know how badly those words hurt. It is WHY they're saying those words. Those words hurt THEM more deeply than anything else hurts them. That's how they know how bad they hurt.

When someone a child trusts and truly cares for, or considers their best friend, says, "I HATE YOU!!", after the initial anger wears off, the pain which sets in, is generally devastating. I'm sorry....but by the time a child is 3 or 4 years old.....most of them understand perfectly, just how bad those words hurt. That's why people say them to each other.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:40 AM
 
20,797 posts, read 32,833,203 times
Reputation: 9904
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I have never heard that strategy before but it seems like a very good one. That sounds like a better approach than parents that offer to pack a suitcase & a sandwich as it really makes children/young teens realize how they do not actually own anything at all and have very limited resources.
I didn't mind letting him take a suitcase of clothing and a sandwich. He "ran away" to some bushes across a field from our house. He stayed there for about 20 minutes when he realized he didn't bring anything to drink and he was thirsty...needless to say, he figured it out on his own and never had a problem again .
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:55 AM
 
5,987 posts, read 5,104,800 times
Reputation: 9301
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Beera, love your story. Good for you!

When I was 20 and hubby was 24, his little brother started running away, staying out all night and partying. Hubby's mom got incredibly angry with us when we told him he could come stay with us for a little while. She thought we were just enabling her "soon to be 16" son. They all got quite the surprise. Things were much stricter at OUR house for him, than it had been at home with his parents. He HAD to do homework. He had CHORES, for the first time in his life! He could not go to drinking parties. He was not allowed to drink at our home, either. Things did not go as he imagined they would and after less than 2 weeks, he decided to go back home.
LOL My mom did that with my niece... less than a month, she went back to her mom's!
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