Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My son is 13 yrs old. I got his report card, and he is failing on of his subjects: English. He normally gets good grades and is an honor student and has been since Elementary School. However, his grades started to decrease when I bought him an Xbox 1 (Christmas) and Smart Phone (Birthday.) When I saw he was failing, I took away his Xbox and phone until he brings his grades up. Now, he says he hates me and wants to run away. Any suggestions...?
is there a 13 year old who DOESN'T hate their parents? I think it is a right of passage for that age. Most don't express it verbally but with eye rolls, refusal to be seen in public with them, etc.
Those 2 items can be addictive, especially games. Monitor and restrict are the key words. Don't let him bully or shame you.
Parenting rule #1- You are not their best friend, you are their parent.
Because of that rule, you are most likely going to be making some choices, on their behalf, that they're not going to agree with. Does your son hate you? No.....no he doesn't. He's mad at you and clearly...um, disrespectful, but he doesn't hate you.
He's using those words on you, in order to emotionally manipulate you, so that you will give him back his toys. It doesn't get much simpler than that. "I love you because you give me things." "I hate you because you took away my things" "If you want me to love you again, you'll give me things".
He's showing you that he can't handle those distractions that you bought him and that he is not efficiently prioritizing his responsibilites. I'd be holding on to those things until he can demonstrate his willingness to take care of his responsiblities.
Your son needs to understand that those items are 'luxuries' and not 'entitlements'. They are rewards, not necessities. Sometimes, you're going to be really unpopular, but most likely....much later....he'll thank you for caring enough to make the right decisions.
I'm sure he doesn't mean it. It's a defense mechanism of sorts (well you're disappointed in me, so take that!) but a lot of kids have said that to their parents, myself included.
Tell him you will pack a lunch for him to take when he runs away. Ask him what he would like to eat. That will take the wind out of his sails!
And keep in mind kids are TOTALLY self-centered. I said the same thing to my dad, but figured out as I grew older that he might know a thing or two. Also I learned that I did not know everything! (That was news to me...)
I said this to my mom at that age too. I remember when my first kid was born another 13 years after that, I phoned her to apologize Sorry, that must really hurt - but you know you are doing right.
I'm sure he doesn't mean it. It's a defense mechanism of sorts (well you're disappointed in me, so take that!) but a lot of kids have said that to their parents, myself included.
He means it now, while it's possibly useful to mean it. Unlikely that he will continue on this tack.
And, meanwhile, to the parent - soldier on! You've done the right thing, now let him get back in the saddle.
You will not find one parent of an adult that thinks you should cave in. We all know the outcomes if you keep to your plan or if you give in. Please don't give in.
I will give you one piece of advice. Sit down with him every night and work with all of his schoolwork. Even if there is no homework, ask him what he learned in maths, etc. Show him it is as important to you as it (should be) to him. He will be rolling along soon on his own.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sorry, that must really hurt - but you know you are doing right.
