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Old 02-09-2014, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Phoenix Arizona
718 posts, read 1,474,001 times
Reputation: 1636

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Not sure if the child is doing this intentionally or not (I'm pretty sure he is) but whenever I tell my 7 year old anything such as picking up their shoes from the floor or cleaning up their mess from the table I get the eye roll big time and it's getting to the point that I feel like just reaching over and smacking him when he does it. It's not like I'm being unreasonable in requesting these things but he does it anytime I ask him to do anything. He does it to his mom also but either she doesn't notice or doesn't care but I find it pretty dang disrespectful when he does it to me. If I would have done such a thing at his age my parents would have smacked it out of me.

What can I do? Don't want to resort to having to smack him but holy crap it's driving me crazy.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
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What if you just say "Rolling your eyes at an adult when they ask you to do something is unacceptable behavior" and if he continues repeat "Rolling your eyes at an adult is unacceptable".

If he does it again give him a time-out, remove a privilege or whatever you do when he breaks other house rules. BTW Mom needs to also follow though if he does it to her. If it happens again just say "Rolling your eyes at an adult is unacceptable" and give him the selected consequence.

Does he roll his eyes when his teachers or his principal (minister, Boy Scout leader, grandmother, etc) ask him to do something? I really doubt that he does. Then it is definitely a behavior that he can control.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:23 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,483 posts, read 13,334,142 times
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At least he has sense enough to know not to back talk you when you tell him to do something.

PS are you telling or asking? Tone of voice? The respect thing can go both ways.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:39 PM
 
Location: Phoenix Arizona
718 posts, read 1,474,001 times
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I tell him "Can you please clean up your mess?" or "Can you please pick up your shoes?" I always ask him to do things rather than just bark orders.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,608,566 times
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unless you have gotten married since your last discussion about these kids and unless you are talking about your own biological son) you are in no position to be disciplining this kid. You are not the step father- you are just the live in boyfriend (fiance). This boy is simply telling you he has no respect for you and the things you are "asking" him to do. You have told us you are "old fashioned" about disciplining kids and how you expect them to behave. If you have laid a hand on him or even the other kids, they know they have little control over their lives and eye rolling is about the only reaction they are allowed.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Phoenix Arizona
718 posts, read 1,474,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
unless you have gotten married since your last discussion about these kids and unless you are talking about your own biological son) you are in no position to be disciplining this kid. You are not the step father- you are just the live in boyfriend (fiance). This boy is simply telling you he has no respect for you and the things you are "asking" him to do. You have told us you are "old fashioned" about disciplining kids and how you expect them to behave. If you have laid a hand on him or even the other kids, they know they have little control over their lives and eye rolling is about the only reaction they are allowed.
I don't see what my marital status has anything to do with this. Quite frankly it's nobody's business if we are married yet or not and this has nothing to do with the situation.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:36 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,483 posts, read 13,334,142 times
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Your marital status may not/should not make much difference to you or most others, but is does to the kids. Until you put a ring on mom's finger you aren't official and they know that. It makes a difference.
Even if you do marry you need to make sure you have the support of mom in discipline matters and make sure the kids know you are working together.
Have you AND your GF had a sit down with the boys together to let them know where things stand as far as discipline?
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Old 02-10-2014, 03:13 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,104 posts, read 17,634,355 times
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I think the marital status has nothing to do with it either . I think this kid has a problem with respecting and listening to people in authority over him and yes he is disrespecting his mothers bf when he does not listen . When he does not listen to you , you should ask his mother to get involved and once this kid sees that his mother is backing you up the eye rolling will most likely stop however if you are constantly at this kid then I can see why he is rejecting doing anything you ask him to do .
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Old 02-10-2014, 05:24 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
Reputation: 38735
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
unless you have gotten married since your last discussion about these kids and unless you are talking about your own biological son) you are in no position to be disciplining this kid. You are not the step father- you are just the live in boyfriend (fiance). This boy is simply telling you he has no respect for you and the things you are "asking" him to do. You have told us you are "old fashioned" about disciplining kids and how you expect them to behave. If you have laid a hand on him or even the other kids, they know they have little control over their lives and eye rolling is about the only reaction they are allowed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainGuy74 View Post
I don't see what my marital status has anything to do with this. Quite frankly it's nobody's business if we are married yet or not and this has nothing to do with the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Your marital status may not/should not make much difference to you or most others, but is does to the kids. Until you put a ring on mom's finger you aren't official and they know that. It makes a difference.
Even if you do marry you need to make sure you have the support of mom in discipline matters and make sure the kids know you are working together.
Have you AND your GF had a sit down with the boys together to let them know where things stand as far as discipline?
Sorry, but I didn't realize that this wasn't your official child. Yes, it does make a difference to children. Especially if the children have had other "non-official father figures" in the past.

For men in your situation it is essential for the biological mother to take the main role in discipline and for the two of you to agree on everything and show a strong united team to the children. If their mom ignores eye rolling the children will never, ever consider it something inappropriate to do to whatever man is currently sleeping in mom's bed. Sorry, OP, that is all that you are to the children ---- someone sleeping in their mom's bed. And, they don't know if you will be there one night, one week, or one month. I have actually heard a child say those very words when describing their mom's current boyfriend.

Where did I get my knowledge of this type of situations? Thirty years of teaching in elementary schools (and listening to the students and parents talk about discipline problems), over 60 years of "life experiences" and a Masters degree in Child Development.

Last edited by germaine2626; 02-10-2014 at 05:40 AM..
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Old 02-10-2014, 05:55 AM
 
7,497 posts, read 9,272,211 times
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Unless you're planning to yank his eyeballs out, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. Kids will roll their eyes. As long as they do as they're told, who cares?
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