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we are just so soft on our kids, we're bringing up a generation of useless people.
The kids arent' allowed to eat anywhere else but the kitchen table or the back doorstep.
They must accomplish CHORES (eg cleaning their room, maybe a toilet or two) before they get their fun.
It's quite simple really, I don't know why people struggle with it so much.
Please do not take this personal. I see it frequently.
My parents did not have pets who were trained to eat at the table or sit on the doorstep.
Knife, fork, water and wine glass (yes!) were things we were familiar with at a single digit age also how to deal with unfamiliar food in unfamiliar surroundings. Chores were a given.
Do not worry - we were rebels 101 but knew our boundaries when it came to family and outsiders:>)
I would suggest a family meeting with a write on board or tablet. Decide on the rules and WRITE THEM DOWN. Establish what you want to see when you get home. It is not the responsibility of the son to manage the two younger kids.
Establish all the punishments. WRITE THEM DOWN. Escalate them if there are continued problems. WRITE THEM DOWN.
Also determine rewards that the whole family should enjoy. WRITE THEM DOWN.
Post the "contract" somewhere like in the kitchen so everyone can see it. You might even develop a chart to write on what happens each day in case one of the rewards requires a period of time like a week of good days.
FOLLOW THRU. You cannot be too tired or not care even one time. You as the parent must follow the contract so make sure you are able to provide the consequences and the rewards. You also must be trustworthy. If you want your kids to follow the rules, make sure you can too.
They will test you and it may be hard but it will eliminate the endless arguements. All you have to do is point to the contract.
ages 8 and 9 girls. They are constantly leaving food including spilled food, clothes toys all over the house. They usualy just watch tv and play on their tablets. She took the tablets away but the mess grows daily.
Sounds like she needs some parenting skills. She also sounds overwhelmed. She may need some help to gt back on track. If you are the type to help, do it. Maybe just start with helping her catch up on household chores. Sometimes it is overwhelming, looking at a mess and you do not know where to start...a helping hand can be a great thing if done lovingly....non-judgmentally.
Kids need structure, and consistency...What happens is parents get tired, and just give in...and it is a vicious cycle. So... have a talk with your Sister...give her some help, some tips and recharge her battery with support it may help alot. Do it lovingly...out of concern to help her...not judge her. Good luck on this
Auntie, with Mom's permission........sit the kids down and lay down some rules. Start with the mess making....specially after the house is put in order...Do not let children eat anywhere except the table. Take away the tablets and TV for punishments....They do not pick up their toys....no TV...etc.
they only are when i take them out to eat. plus its only a few starburst wrapprs.
It could be one gum wrapper, the quantity does not matter it is the fact that you allow them to leave their trash in your vehicle then you make excuses for them.
It is obvious that their mother nor anyone other adult around them has taught them how to mind and do what they are told which is to clearn their rooms, do their homework, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, remove their trash from anyone's vehicle, clean up the entire area they eat in, etc.
Does their Mother make excuses for them like you do?
Well, if she's so lackadaisical as you sound, it's no wonder the kids rule the roost. You have provided an excuse for every solution anyone has offered. So, who the hell cares if they get distracted. Tell your sister, and yourself, to do what my parents did... ride my ass until it was done. That'll show them mom and you mean business.
Sheesh, why are you and your sister so afraid of these kids?
Perhaps Mom will get "distracted" by picking up laundry, putting dishing in the dishwasher, and cleaning the next time that the girls want her to take them to the mall, buy special groceries/treats for them, drive them to their friend's house, wash their favorite outfits, etc. etc.
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