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Job performance has been some good and some bad. She has done great with teaching the kids new things. She has not been great by deciding on her own accord to spank the 4 year old without our permission and making him sleep down in the living room for naps because he was doing bad things in his room. Those were a few of the things that we let slide by after a bit of counseling with her. She's definitely had pros and cons. There were finally enough cons to determine the need to make a switch. I do know that we are rolling the dice on finding a new nanny but its time to take that roll.
So, whats the deal? Your taking this all very personally?
No, I'm not taking this personally because it doesn't impact my life. In reality the Internet largely doesn't give two craps because whatever you do doesn't matter an iota. But I will call it as I see it, and your more recent postings show you to be very condescending, passive aggressive, and basically an ass.
You attempt to talk down to me and other posters here, as if youre the only one here with children. lets set the matter straight...many of us have young children. many of us have multiple children. While i can sympathize with you having so many kids all at once..i know i sure wouldnt..weve been there before. we know about what two year olds do, so please.
She isn't even here to defend herself, so we go by what you post. Which may or may not be true. If anything, like I said, she has more "skills" at dealing with what appears to be chaos x 4 than you do, yet you treat her like garbage. She's probably better off leaving your family.
Have all the infants already strapped into their seats (if they unattach from the seat base), and then load them in one at a time. The 4 year old may already be able to strap herself/himself in without help. Most of the ones I know do. Just double check them before you drive off.
They aren't infants. The are in forward facing seats. Loading kids in vans isn't that hard for able body adults to do. My wife and I can do it.
No, I'm not taking this personally because it doesn't impact my life. In reality the Internet largely doesn't give two craps because whatever you do doesn't matter an iota. But I will call it as I see it, and your more recent postings show you to be very condescending, passive aggressive, and basically an ass.
You attempt to talk down to me and other posters here, as if youre the only one here with children. lets set the matter straight...many of us have young children. many of us have multiple children. While i can sympathize with you having so many kids all at once..i know i sure wouldnt..weve been there before. we know about what two year olds do, so please.
She isn't even here to defend herself, so we go by what you post. Which may or may not be true. If anything, like I said, she has more "skills" at dealing with what appears to be chaos x 4 than you do, yet you treat her like garbage. She's probably better off leaving your family.
I'm through with this topic.
She has not been treated like garbage. We've been pretty tolerable for quite some time now. Were at the end of the line now. I'm not sure how I am talking down to people other than defending my views from people typing "WTF and you for Real?" and calling me an "Ass".
Even if we did expect her to cart the kids around which we don't and wouldn't want her to do, a vehicle with 3rd row seats is required for transporting 4 little ones. Getting kids into the 3rd row of any vehicle isn't easy. Ours happens to be a toyota sienna and my wife had to load the kids in the 3rd row back when she and the nanny were taking the kids to the doctor. The nanny wasn't able to do it. If you have done it, you would know that you need to be able to hold one kid and still be able to bend and reach to get a kid loaded in the 3rd row. Not easy when dealing with kids 2 and under because your not going to get any help from them getting in their seats.
I have done it with my own children...many more times than you have....you just put one kid in at a time....take out one of the middle seats and it's easy to get in and out of the van...
I seriously think you and your wife need some parenting classes. It seems like you are flustered by the most mundane things about child care. You aren't going to find a Nanny that will run your life for you as you expect. You also seem to change your story a lot on this thread so it's pretty difficult to keep up with you....
Really----it's too stressful to be around your OWN children? I'm sorry but that is just sad. Most people are not pushed to the limit with 2 children, many, many, many people have 3 or more children and plenty have multiples plus singles, me included. Don't expect a nanny to do what you or your wife cannot do.
Exactly, I found those comments disturbing.
Why on earth did these people have more children? One should have been enough.
And if the OP expects this woman or any other "nanny" to shuttle the kids around, than you provide a vehicle.
A nanny should be a playmate for the kids. That comes with watching toddlers. This nanny hasn't been as reliable as you seem to think. I think if you put forth enough effort in the hiring process, hiring a reliable nanny shouldn't be that hard. We have 5 interviews this weekend. As for complaining and whining, isn't that what everyone does on forums such as these?
Well than maybe you should go through an agency? Instead of the "under the table" method you use.
I have done it with my own children...many more times than you have....you just put one kid in at a time....take out one of the middle seats and it's easy to get in and out of the van...
I seriously think you and your wife need some parenting classes. It seems like you are flustered by the most mundane things about child care. You aren't going to find a Nanny that will run your life for you as you expect. You also seem to change your story a lot on this thread so it's pretty difficult to keep up with you....
Yeah, we can load and unload the mini van. Yeah, it's not that hard. The nanny was the one that wasn't able to load the kids. Why is your experience relevant here and what makes you an authority on the need for parenting classes?
That's what doesn't make sense. She is reliably getting to work. He is just annoyed that she doesn't leave as soon as she's off work when she needs to wait for a ride home. It makes him uncomfortable that she's sitting in the basement. It's sad that he doesn't treat her like a family member and allow her to be upstairs while she's waiting. If his attitude changed about her new schedule, she could be a lot of help from 4pm to 8pm since they're such busy working parents whose marriage is stressed out by it all.
The nanny is the one who says bye and goes down stairs, goes outside to make calls, then comes back in and sits in the basement. She doesn't offer help. She has never been told to go down stairs. On the other hand, if she did come upstairs, I really wouldn't want her to just come up and watch the usual chaos and just sit there. It's within my right to expect her to depart after her shift is over at a reasonable time.
In my experience with nannies, they don't want to run around and be active period whether they are thin or obese. So an obese nanny is much less likely to be active with your children.
Safe transportation is a deal breaker. They need a reliable car and they need it at all times.
With nannies, you have to be direct. They will not assume anything. For example, if you tell your nanny "I would like the triplets to get more exercise and be more active" that doesn't mean anything to a nanny
If you say "I want you to play outside with the triplets for 1 hour each day between 2 pm and 5 pm and I want it logged" That will send the message.
I speak from experience. I made checklists for our nanny. It kept them honest and organized and you got what you wanted. Again, never assume something is common sense and intuitive that a nanny should or will pick up. Write it out and have check lists. If you keep things vague, they will do the bare minimum.
I have done it with my own children...many more times than you have....you just put one kid in at a time....take out one of the middle seats and it's easy to get in and out of the van...
I seriously think you and your wife need some parenting classes. It seems like you are flustered by the most mundane things about child care. You aren't going to find a Nanny that will run your life for you as you expect. You also seem to change your story a lot on this thread so it's pretty difficult to keep up with you....
Don't you think that telling any good mom that she needs parenting classes is a tad bit disrespectful? Being a mom is the hardest job out there and I have respect for all moms. How would you feel if someone told you that? You might have a different parenting style or philosophy but that doesn't make you a better mom than any other mom? I'm a dad and have 4 children. I think raising two children is tough let alone 4. She is not expecting a nanny to run her life. Many great moms hire nannies to make their lives work. Many moms are busy professionals and are not able to stay home with their children and need a nanny. There is nothing wrong with that and she doesn't need to stay home. Furthermore, it's not unreasonable to screen a nanny based on vehicle requirements. A lot of nanny agencies do this themselves and ask this of their nannies particularly when there is a large family involved. Finally, I think that's great that you were able to put one kid in at a time and taking out one of the middle seats. Maybe you didn't find that challenging but that would be a pain in the a$# for me. And I'm a cardiologist who is used to working long hours so I'm not a lazy by any measure. If I had a choice, I wouldn't do that every single time I drove.
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