Selfish kids at Christmas time. (method, toddlers, game, parent)

[tinkerbell08]

Originally Posted by little_thirsty

Well here is a story for you...
A young family with 3 kids. 3 kids have everything their little hearts could desire. Being very ungrateful on one Christmas morning.

Father stands up and says "Oh I am so sorry! Well didn't you get anything you like? I tell you what each of you go get your favorite thing you got this year". THe kids each went and got their prized Christmas gift and came back glowing. Dad said "Wrap it up"...
huh interesting...okay all wrapped up.

He packs his kids in the car and drives them to an employees house in a very different part of town. He has the kids hand over there favorite gift to the employees children.

I have never been anything but grateful every since

Hey I would be p'd off if my childhood memories included my dad doing this. A bitter way to teach a kid a lesson. The parents started the tradition. Think about it, the tradition becomes a burden and the parents created that burden, not the kid. It's a rush the parents created with their kids from the start, so now the kids want the same feeling and memory of xmas morning. Simple, the best gift you could give your child is as they get older let them know how you regretted trying to create the "perfect xmas" and not to go overboard with the kids they have.

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

As someone that has bought gifts, I would have a problem with this. If you don't wish your children to have the gifts, please be honest to the people buying them. If they feel it's ok for you to donate what they bought your kids, then go for it... as I do like the idea otherwise...

I have a few gift giving stories where I gave kids gifts and never saw them again and wondered why. Every year, I'd save the extra money to get a few kids something. Gosh, I could have used that $25 per kid to pay bills

I would raher someone be honest with me that their kids needed nothing, then for me to waste my money. We do buy for kids that wouldn't get otherwise, whether it is mittens or small toy / book.I always donate clothes & toys.. my kids stuff does not go to their rooms until we clean out the unused. Same goes for my hubby & myself

I am honest about it ~ the entire family knows about this ~ both my mom and dad, my husband's mom and dad and all of our sisters and brothers know this. We have an extremely close extended family. Everyone likes the idea. We all just think of it as one way of giving to the needy. On top of their gifts, I myself go to Toy's R Us and purchase some toys to also put into the box we send.

I'm just talking about dolls, board games, gi-joe kinda stuff. We would never give away anything homemade or engraved, or something passed down, etc.

Honestly, I would rather halt most of the gift giving anyway and just pool are money together and sponsor a family. Everyone enjoys purchasing gifts so much I've had a hard time getting everyone to particpate in this. I'm thinking next year my husband and I and our kids will do this.

Has anyone here ever visited an orphanage during the holiday? I'm interested to know. I would also like to do this, but I want to know how it works. Do they set you up with a few kids to sponsor or one kid???

[tinkerbell08]

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

My brother and I grew up receiving one gift at Christmas from my parents and one from Santa. That was it from my parents for Christmas. All of our cousins and friends received a gazillion gifts from their parents and Santa. My parents chose carefully and that one gift we received meant a lot to us. For whatever reason, I don't ever remember complaining or thinking that I wish we'd received more.

We're planning on doing the same for our children. I think it's just outrageous what parents think their kids can't live without.

Best advise. Your so right! Everybody should do this and we would all be enjoying holidays much more.
lol

[AnthonyB]

Originally Posted by treeg26

We do all of these things. Part of the problem is that so many kids they know and are friends with or go to school with get and have SO much stuff! I remind my kids that they may not have all that stuff but they have me at home every day when they get home from school (I'm SAHM).

In life there will always be someone with more.

Better to learn to deal with it as kids, with their parents help, than waking up as adults drowning in debt from trying to keep up with the Jones's.

The best thing we can do for our kids - saying no - and letting them go out in the world and face things head on, is sometimes the hardest.

[Chinolala]

Good for you with the Salvation Army idea! Children should do charitable deeds. Giving away clothes and toys they don't want or need anymore, isn't the same as devoting time to good causes. Here are some other suggestions:

Each child gets 1 gift from each category: Toy - clothing - educational - sports or hobby
Example: Video game, jeans, book, skateboard

Another idea: Amount spent ties in with grades and conduct at home and at school
A Average $400 B Average $300 C Average $200 D Average of lower: $100
Not doing chores regularly, being obsessively grounded, etc. lowers you the next level down

Another idea: Kids each asked to give up one Christmas gift that they received for poor kids. They can pick which one.

Homemade Christmas (aka Malcom in the Middle). If on a tight budget, buy what you can afford and what is within reason. Then everyone in the family makes a homemade gift for each other. Kids pay for the materials themselves. It can be as simple as crayola artwork from a small child, to something in woodshop for a middle school boy. Small chlldren can't pay but kids with money saved from allowance, birthdays, etc. should pay towards materials. This fosters giving amongst sibings and creativity.

At Home Christmas Club - Kids have to put away a percentage of their allowance (give money to parents or put in their bank accounts). That money has be used to buy their siblings something. Kids are never too young to learn how to give, along with receive.

If the child is an only child, you can do the same thing to buy gifts for the grandparents or a pet, babysitter, home room teacher, etc.

Idea: If kids ask for a certain items and lose interest in those items within months after Christmas, those items go right to charity. This will make kids think about what they really want instead of acting on impulse. If you spend $50 on a toy for an 11 year old, only to learn that within 3 months, it's sitting in their bedroom never used, it was waste of money and not appreciated. It belongs with someone who will appreciate it OR it can be sold on Ebay and the child can give the cash to a charity.

Idea: Super Special Christmas - Make certain years extra special. Tie in the child's age with Christmas. For instance, 1st Christmas, kindergarten Christmas, 8th grade Christmas and Sweet 16 Christmas. Assuming grades and conduct are good, the child gets to pick an activity (movie, dinner out, etc) of their choice that the family can attend together and it's their special day. It's mandatory that all siblings attend and grandparents if possible. Fun to do the day after Christmas for instance.

[charolastra00]

One thing my parents always did around the holidays to curb our childhood materialistic wants was to keep the TV off as much as possible to avoid all those horrible toy commercials! We watched lots of movies and made tons of trips to the library instead.

I'm 19 now and my family has not been able to afford a Chrismakah in the past 5 years. As kids, admittedly we did get TONS OF presents- mostly because my parents felt guilty because we wouldn't get so much as a card from all the aunts and uncles and we often felt left out of the Christmas celebrations being the only Jewish family in town with family too far away to celebrate with. My parents have since found creative ways of gifting. My mom is the queen at ebay and some of my best gifts have been cheap, one of a kind items off of ebay. Every year, she also gets me a ton of free AAA stuff- maps, books, and what have you.

Even still, it's always a huge joke in my family that every year, I make a 7 page long typed Christmas list. Have ever since I was little. :P For years, that was the family newsletter because everyone got a kick out of it. It would generally have about 50 books, a few musical groups I liked, a pony, various other pets, an elephant, and other general things I would like- all coordinated by type of gift. Whatever, one day some random member of the family will win the lottery and I will get that pony that's always on the top of my list!

[Laura707]

Gosh, I we were such deprived as kids back in the 40's and 50' that I don't see how we grew up normal. We hardly got anything for Christmas under the tree, usually it was peppermint, apples and oranges and Mama would make make new clothes for our dolls that were made from scraps people gave her.. Grandma always gave us new panties, the only new ones we got all year. We were really poor but we never minded it or cared as kids. We were always extreemly happy with whatever we got because we knew we were LOVED. We had so much love and even as a child, I knew that was more important than anything else.

Fast forward many years and I am at my daughters house Christmas morning when her son got up and wandered in to see what Santa had bought him. He looked at his bike and big stuffed floppy dog and threw out his hands and asked his Mama.." IS THAT ALL I GET? and left the room... Ya don't wanna know what I sat there thinking!

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by treeg26

None of them believe in Santa anymore. They seem to want, want, want. We are trying to teach our kids to not be materialistic in an extreamly materialistic world. It is hard!! I'm looking for some ideas on how to handle the situation.

I'm big on not paying full price. My daughter knows if she wants something, it has to be on sale. I start shopping usually in September, like to be done by Thanksgiving. Even though I don't "spoil" her with buying her whatever she desires during the year, she's still very materialistic. This is how she is.. could be due to where we live & peer pressure.

It doesn't change the fact that I spend a certain amount of money on her.. what she chooses to get with that money is up to her.

Originally Posted by treeg26

I have signed them up for "ringing the bell" for salvation army. We talk of the kids and families that are less fortunate than us. We give our toys and clothes to the "poor" kids regularly. We go to church on Sundays, so they know it's baby Jesus' birthday.

One year hubby & I made care packages to 3 people in Iraq. I knew one of them, he'd asked for shampoo, soap, lotion, chap stick. I took it a few notches farther and made gift bags for two of his friends, which he "auctioned" off. I also baked cookies, sent him tins of them.

There's a site called Any Soldier where you can donate. You can also find more entries on google. There's one that sends out holiday stockings.

Originally Posted by mjb68

I am honest about it ~ the entire family knows about this ~ both my mom and dad, my husband's mom and dad and all of our sisters and brothers know this. We have an extremely close extended family. Everyone likes the idea. We all just think of it as one way of giving to the needy. On top of their gifts, I myself go to Toy's R Us and purchase some toys to also put into the box we send.

I'm just talking about dolls, board games, gi-joe kinda stuff. We would never give away anything homemade or engraved, or something passed down, etc.

Honestly, I would rather halt most of the gift giving anyway and just pool are money together and sponsor a family. Everyone enjoys purchasing gifts so much I've had a hard time getting everyone to particpate in this. I'm thinking next year my husband and I and our kids will do this.

Has anyone here ever visited an orphanage during the holiday? I'm interested to know. I would also like to do this, but I want to know how it works. Do they set you up with a few kids to sponsor or one kid???

If they know and don't have a problem with it, I think it's great.
If your goal is to sponser a family, why not ask that everyone buy a gift and donate as a family?
We have a local radio station (NJ 101.5) that has a list of families to give to. Usually the school nurse also knows of needy kids. One year my daughter won a bike from school. I was floored. She didn't need it. In order to keep it, she had to donate her other one. I took it to a sporting goods store, made sure it was in good working order, then brought it to the school.

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by Laura707

Fast forward many years and I am at my daughters house Christmas morning when her son got up and wandered in to see what Santa had bought him. He looked at his bike and big stuffed floppy dog and threw out his hands and asked his Mama.." IS THAT ALL I GET? and left the room... Ya don't wanna know what I sat there thinking!

Good lord; if I ever have a kid who does that, that'll be the last time Santa leaves him ANYTHING!

[MoonlightMadness]

Originally Posted by AnthonyB

In life there will always be someone with more.

Better to learn to deal with it as kids, with their parents help, than waking up as adults drowning in debt from trying to keep up with the Jones's.

The best thing we can do for our kids - saying no - and letting them go out in the world and face things head on, is sometimes the hardest.

My in-laws are now those adults drowning in debt. They can't say "no" nor do they want to (even though they say otherwise). Their parents (esp. their father) would take out loans & go overboard buying presents for 5 kids. ANYTHING they wanted they received. Today they have families of their own. And they not only go overboard with their own kids but their nieces & nephews also. They want to recreate their Christmas memories with all their kids. And heaven forbid you don't keep up - you're a "cheap SOB". Of course I won't give in & usually make the kids something. And the total I spend on all the kids is what they spend for each child. I just found out one of my in-laws is 3 months behind on her mortgage. But she & her hubby still insist they have to go all out buying gifts for everyone's kids. They don't want to see any disappointed little faces. I guess keeping a roof over your own kids' heads isn't as important as making sure everyone else's kids have a "happy" Christmas.