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OK. My son just turned 15. He also just lost his Dad, and they were very close, and Best friends.
My son lets say, is a lot more mature than kids his own age. He is not into girls, or cars, or phone calls, or even going out.
He enjoys doing the Reenactments with WW2, and being the Japs, or the Romans, or etc, which is interesting and exciting to watch, but with him being at home, he scares me sometimes.
Its like he hates school this yr. He just started High school, and he is constantly finding excuses to get out early. He is also into politics, which I made another thread about earlier. Everyone seemed to think he was a "normal teenager."
He come home early today, and told me on the way home how he doesn`t know the difference between reality and dream anymore. How he does not like living in this world, and how everyone is against him in his thinking. He told me that he knows what he wants to do in life, and its politics, and how he wants to live somewhere where someone will agree with his beliefs, and not against him.
Sigh....
His Dad just passed away one month ago.
I ask him if he felt like he needed to talk to someone to get his feelings and thoughts out. He said,"no."
OK. My son just turned 15. He also just lost his Dad, and they were very close, and Best friends.
My son lets say, is a lot more mature than kids his own age. He is not into girls, or cars, or phone calls, or even going out.
He enjoys doing the Reenactments with WW2, and being the Japs, or the Romans, or etc, which is interesting and exciting to watch, but with him being at home, he scares me sometimes.
Its like he hates school this yr. He just started High school, and he is constantly finding excuses to get out early. He is also into politics, which I made another thread about earlier. Everyone seemed to think he was a "normal teenager."
He come home early today, and told me on the way home how he doesn`t know the difference between reality and dream anymore. How he does not like living in this world, and how everyone is against him in his thinking. He told me that he knows what he wants to do in life, and its politics, and how he wants to live somewhere where someone will agree with his beliefs, and not against him.
Sigh....
His Dad just passed away one month ago.
I ask him if he felt like he needed to talk to someone to get his feelings and thoughts out. He said,"no."
I am a loving, caring Mom. What should I do?
A third vote for finding him a therapist that can help him. Do not delay.
Could you help him find a political group that he could get involved with? Maybe he's just in the grief stage -- it's normal enough to act and feel "weird" after a major loss.
Time for a therapist. Your son has multiple things going on his life.
First his dad died. That is a life changing event for a teenager. I don't how he died but if it was quick and unexpected your son is likely very much in shock. If it was from a long illness, then he may be both heartbroken and under tremendous stress from dealing with the sickness.
You son may be wondering how you two will live now, what changes may come to his life. He may be worried about how you are coping and could in part be responding to stress he is seeing in you. He may be worried about what other kids in school may be thinking now that he has no father. It's an irrational thought but I know children who felt like they were creatures from outer space to other children because of a change in parent status. He may feel he has to be strong for you when he actually falling apart inside himself.
Then he has just started high school. That is a big step for a kid. Freshman are at the bottom of the social order in high school. For a smart kid who thinks he has opinions to offer, to find out that upper classmen see him as a lower life form can be devastating to the ego. This is all part of high school but he is not coping well with it.
He may be retreating a lot into day dreams or withdrawing from daily life. Like all people he wants to be validated in his beliefs. If he wants to go into politics, people will be ripping apart his beliefs from the other side of the aisle but he's too young to understand that now. Right now he wants to feel important. You can help him find safe on line forums in which he can find others of similar political beliefs. You can check to see if his school has any political clubs or clubs of interests similar to his own.
It's pretty common for a kid to be going through this kind of hard time considering his life changes right now. A grief counselor may help greatly. Grief has many stages and he has to work through all of them. A therapist may help him put life in perspective. Good luck.
It's disturbing that so many are suggesting that you drag your son to therapy. Grief is a very personal thing, and since your son was so close to his father, he has a lot to work through. Give him some time. Talk with him about his philosophy and political ideas; they may not seem so odd after some conversation.
Fifteen is a difficult age by any standards. Therapy can sometimes do more harm than good. Let him be fifteen with some guidance from you.
Therapist, but do you research - find a good one. Not just any one. A bad therapist is worse than no therapist, it's true. But if you are careful and do due diligence you should be able to get him some help.
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