Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-12-2014, 01:23 PM
 
2,957 posts, read 5,865,642 times
Reputation: 2286

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
My 3 year old has to start daycare in a month's time (I had intended to start with part time and gently ease her into it but I've been offered a work experience placement that I can't turn down) but she is extremely shy. She can't even bear to be left alone with close family members so how will she cope with strangers? Even other children scare her a bit. How can I best make this transition as easy for her as possible? And how do I even explain the concept of daycare to her, that she will have to be away from me all day?
My 3 year old started daycare part time (3 days a week from 7:30-12:30) last June and transitioned to everyday (still 7:30-12:30) in October. He was and is also very shy.

I think what will help is your constantly making it seem like something to look forward to. You can read books about school and talk about it very positively. You can also take your daughter there once in a while to meet her future teachers and see her new friends (if possible go when they do a fun activity). I'm sure the daycare will understand.

Easing into it did nothing for us at all, IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-12-2014, 01:32 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,265,092 times
Reputation: 43042
I have no first-person insights into this as I don't have kids, but every toddler in my family (cousins, cousins' kids) threw a complete hissy meltdown at the start of each day for around a week as long as their parents were in sight. But then they were fine.

I do think the idea of visiting the school is a very good idea - it won't forestall the meltdown when you go, but it will help her settle in after. If she knows what to expect, things become a lot less scary. The teachers will have dealt with this in every possible form too - definitely consult them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2014, 03:30 PM
 
1,638 posts, read 3,816,417 times
Reputation: 3501
You might be surprised....my son started preschool the week after her turned 3. He hopped out of the car at drop off and never looked back. I cried. He didn't lol

I think visiting is a great idea. Otherwise, it's just something you both will have to get used to. It might be rough for the first few weeks, but you'll get through it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2014, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,423 posts, read 7,203,859 times
Reputation: 10435
The one thing that makes me feel less bad about this is that I do think it will be good for her, precisely because she is so shy - she needs to be around other children and other adults to get used to them before she starts school otherwise that will be a nightmare at an age when other kids might make fun of her for being a "mummy's girl"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2014, 08:02 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 15,367,991 times
Reputation: 4098
She may do absolutely fine. Yrs ago one of my children had a dentist appt - in the dentist's office, I told them "dont worry, it wont hurt, you'll be fine" (I think he was about 3 at the time) - well, the dentist (who had children my children's age) twirled around and told me I was overdoing it by planting negativity into his mind by using the words 'worry, hurt etc' - here I meant well (and Im sure the dentist realized it) but it wasnt helpful saying what I said (when I was trying to be encouraging). Fortunately it was just a checkup but I did have to step back and reevaluate how to handle it (and there was no hysterics or anything like that, thankfully, my child was very accepting in spite of my words, lol).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2014, 08:12 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,755,318 times
Reputation: 17472
You may want to read her: The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. You can create a little ritual for her to help her know you love her and will return.

The Kissing Hand Books by Audrey Penn, author

Also, it may help if she has a family picture in her backpack to look at or a special blanket or toy to take with her for nap time. There are other books you can read to her as well.

http://www.amazon.com/What-Will-Momm.../dp/0027478459
Carl Goes to Daycare: Alexandra Day: 9780374311452: Amazon.com: Books
Going to Day Care (Mr. Rogers' First Experience): Fred Rogers: 9780399212352: Amazon.com: Books

Best Children's Books About Starting School - Preschool Kindergarten First Grade
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 12:18 AM
 
823 posts, read 1,770,041 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
The one thing that makes me feel less bad about this is that I do think it will be good for her, precisely because she is so shy - she needs to be around other children and other adults to get used to them before she starts school otherwise that will be a nightmare at an age when other kids might make fun of her for being a "mummy's girl"
Exactly! It's great that you're starting this now while she's young. Here in the States (are you really in Finland?), kindergarten has gotten really demanding and tough. Kids are expected to know their ABCs, count to 20, and if they know how to read, homework will be so much easier for them.

Kindergarten was a nightmare for my daughter and me as we had to get into a homework and study routine with her toddler brother interrupting each time.

My 3 year-old son still cries sometimes when I drop him off, so don't be alarmed if she does that even after months of being there. She will be fine. She will, I hope, learn to sit and listen, learn to count, learn her ABCs, to share and get along with other students.

You're going to love watching her learn and grow!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 02:02 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,426,048 times
Reputation: 22471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
My 3 year old has to start daycare in a month's time (I had intended to start with part time and gently ease her into it but I've been offered a work experience placement that I can't turn down) but she is extremely shy. She can't even bear to be left alone with close family members so how will she cope with strangers? Even other children scare her a bit. How can I best make this transition as easy for her as possible? And how do I even explain the concept of daycare to her, that she will have to be away from me all day?
Could you find her in-home babysitting instead? There are those who babysit for extra money, sometimes just 1 or 2 kids, shy kids can do a whole lot better in smaller settings.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,423 posts, read 7,203,859 times
Reputation: 10435
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
You may want to read her: The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. You can create a little ritual for her to help her know you love her and will return.

The Kissing Hand Books by Audrey Penn, author

Also, it may help if she has a family picture in her backpack to look at or a special blanket or toy to take with her for nap time. There are other books you can read to her as well.

What Will Mommy Do When I'm at School?: Dolores Johnson: 9780027478457: Amazon.com: Books
Carl Goes to Daycare: Alexandra Day: 9780374311452: Amazon.com: Books
Going to Day Care (Mr. Rogers' First Experience): Fred Rogers: 9780399212352: Amazon.com: Books

Best Children's Books About Starting School - Preschool Kindergarten First Grade
Thanks for the suggestions, I'll have a look in the library as there's bound to be something similar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by russlancea View Post
Exactly! It's great that you're starting this now while she's young. Here in the States (are you really in Finland?), kindergarten has gotten really demanding and tough. Kids are expected to know their ABCs, count to 20, and if they know how to read, homework will be so much easier for them.

Kindergarten was a nightmare for my daughter and me as we had to get into a homework and study routine with her toddler brother interrupting each time.

My 3 year-old son still cries sometimes when I drop him off, so don't be alarmed if she does that even after months of being there. She will be fine. She will, I hope, learn to sit and listen, learn to count, learn her ABCs, to share and get along with other students.

You're going to love watching her learn and grow!
Yeah I'm in Finland. Its not so academically tough here so I'm not too worried about that though I expect she will pick up at least the pre-reading skills at daycare, but socially tough, in the sense that most kids go to daycare (from 3-6 years anyway) so are used to being away from mum and dad, are very independent, and its a kind of atmosphere where even first graders are embarrassed if their mum walks them to school so my toddler needs to learn some independence before then or she'll be the laughing stock.

Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Could you find her in-home babysitting instead? There are those who babysit for extra money, sometimes just 1 or 2 kids, shy kids can do a whole lot better in smaller settings.
I put down in my application for both daycare centres and in-home family daycare (childminder) so she might get a place at an in-home place which on the one hand would be a good starting point at least for her to get used to a different setting than home but on the hand probably not as much support for her mother tongue unless I get lucky with the particular childminder.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 04:31 PM
 
1,632 posts, read 1,839,863 times
Reputation: 1319
Children get so much out of day care and once they start getting invited to birthday parties and play days you'll wonder why you ever worried in the first place .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top