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Old 12-06-2007, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
1,013 posts, read 3,053,155 times
Reputation: 880
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrshvo View Post
This child was already at this school for a year in Kindergarten. Then he came back for first grade. This happened back in August. We did not take the tough role at first. We did make sure he was ok, sent him to nurse, called his parents, talked to him. Then the child did it every day. The parents got angry too, we had a conference, and they agreed he was doing it to get out of school, the boy would tell them and us that he just wanted to stay home with his mom and his baby brother.

We all have to be at places we don't want to be at, and we have to show that induced vomiting is not going to get you out of a place where you have to be at. It was not a cry for help; he had already told us he wanted to be home with said persons.

As I said, twice we had to put the foot down, it is December-5 months later, and the boy is still in my class and fine now. He was fine since the foot was down, and by the 3rd day after us not tolerating it-(and all I mean is telling him to stop it, he will not be going to the nurse and his parents will not be called)...it was like magic, like it never happened.

Sometimes people do coddle too much. Sometimes it is not a cry for help. You do have to look at that side too. Believe me, working with children, you see all sides. If more parents stopped coddling (I am a mother of two so I do coddle, but then I also do put it down with my own) and started being firmer.....I think school might be a little better.
I think it sounds like this situation was handled properly. You first called the nurse and his parents, talked with the child and made sure the child was o.k. before taking a tougher approach. Since it continued to happen after the child had ample time to get adjusted to his new environment (school) it sounds like a tougher approach was needed. If every child who didn't want to go to school was allowed to stay home, we would be a nation of illiterate and uneducated people. As a child, I would have prefered to stay home with my Mom and play with my dolls too, but I'm glad my Mom made me go to school! Children don't understand that many things they don't want to do are for their own good. That's why its up to us as adults to make them do those things, even though they think they don't want to at the time.
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Old 12-06-2007, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Plano, Texas
8,640 posts, read 14,188,658 times
Reputation: 21119
The workers at my son's elementary school were extremely gruff towards the children. I'm surprised to hear that the problem is so wide-spread. If I had it to do over again, I would at least chat with the principal or write a letter to him or something. At the time I didn't pursue it, but I surely did notice it.
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Old 12-06-2007, 01:45 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,574,189 times
Reputation: 7862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrshvo View Post
This child was already at this school for a year in Kindergarten. Then he came back for first grade. This happened back in August. We did not take the tough role at first. We did make sure he was ok, sent him to nurse, called his parents, talked to him. Then the child did it every day. The parents got angry too, we had a conference, and they agreed he was doing it to get out of school, the boy would tell them and us that he just wanted to stay home with his mom and his baby brother.

We all have to be at places we don't want to be at, and we have to show that induced vomiting is not going to get you out of a place where you have to be at. It was not a cry for help; he had already told us he wanted to be home with said persons.

As I said, twice we had to put the foot down, it is December-5 months later, and the boy is still in my class and fine now. He was fine since the foot was down, and by the 3rd day after us not tolerating it-(and all I mean is telling him to stop it, he will not be going to the nurse and his parents will not be called)...it was like magic, like it never happened.

Sometimes people do coddle too much. Sometimes it is not a cry for help. You do have to look at that side too. Believe me, working with children, you see all sides. If more parents stopped coddling (I am a mother of two so I do coddle, but then I also do put it down with my own) and started being firmer.....I think school might be a little better.
I'm not sayin that parents should have allowed the kid to stay at home, that's propesterous, but I think that's a problem with entire education system, it puts every child (except for the ones who have obvious behavior conditions) under the same standard. Some children have harder time to adjust and need a lot more of individual attention. I am just having a hard time thinking that all this child wanted to do is to manipulate the situation.
As adults, although we are at places we don't want to be, we have a choice to leave this place (unless of course in prison), a child does not have this choice ( and he shouldn't), so the only thing he can do is show his emotions thru trying to get the attention of adults. I bet that there was more to the story and something was going on at home as well to make him act like that.
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:07 PM
 
1,729 posts, read 71,046 times
Reputation: 388
That is such an interesting story - gosh, I hope it all gets worked out. [My daughter had two minor medical emergencies and the bills just keep coming!!] It makes me crazy that they admitted that they might have let things go had it been someone else. And if they suspend a child for a dress code violation (even though there was good intent by the family), how does this help anything? The child loses valuable time in school, everyone feels bitter, ugh. I'm getting such a crash course here in public education


Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
Sad but it's what I'm seeing also and am actually having issues with my daughters school. She's currently working on her 3rd suspension this year...

Suspension 1 was due to dress code violation. The weather was so warm I hadn't bought her a hoodie type jacket without the hood. I've been looking, very hard to find one, reasonably priced. Seemed every time I turned around there was another bill to pay.. my meds at $800 per month (insurance is maxed out) MRI on my daughters knee - almost $500, eye glasses as well as exam - another $400. Add to this my husband got injured and has been out of work since October. I met with the assistant principal, he said he'd work with me.. ended up suspending her twuce after saying he'd work with me.

I meet with him again, tell him other kids are also wearing hoodies & slippers.. he tells me to my face that if the kids are good students, the teachers will turn their heads. Since my daughter got out of line, immediate write up. He said to me.. well we all have problems.. Huh? I mean Geez, would it kill him to look the other way for a few days because at this point I'd ordered a sweater from Victorias Secret at the cost of over $50 and told him it was coming...

Daughter has an IEP, it's no secret that when times get tough, she speaks out. She's been great this year, no meds.. doing very well on her own. I was in the hospital last week.. told Mr Assistant principal to make sure she saw the counselor to deal with it... of course he didn't.

Monday comes, she has an appointment to get her cast off.. she tells me she's suspended. I check my house machine, no message.. check my cell, he left me a message Friday & Monday. Would have killed him to call the house or email me.

My daughter lost one of her classmates last year.. Saturday was the 1 year anniversary, so she's been upset. Had he gotten her counseling, the school would know there was something wrong and try to work through it. Easier to just suspend her.

I have a meeting Monday with all of her teachers.. I've been asking her case worker as well as the assistant principal since October for this meeting. One teacher has emailed me back in October, then another once in late November with another (gym) last week after getting home from the hospital. If my daughters mouth has been such a problem why has there not been any contact from anyone? Why do they let it get this far?

Sadly, one of the teachers I know there told me it is easier to just not deal with it. Takes too much time I guess to take my kid aside and say.. hey, this isn't like you, is there something going on? I understand she needs consequenses but come on.

Sorry for the rant but it gets to me that (most) teachers can't be bothered. Very sad that they are with our kids all day, know our kids, but turn the other way when the kid needs them the most.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:00 PM
 
Location: NJ
7,106 posts, read 13,163,583 times
Reputation: 3791
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenmom7500 View Post
That is such an interesting story - gosh, I hope it all gets worked out. [My daughter had two minor medical emergencies and the bills just keep coming!!] It makes me crazy that they admitted that they might have let things go had it been someone else. And if they suspend a child for a dress code violation (even though there was good intent by the family), how does this help anything? The child loses valuable time in school, everyone feels bitter, ugh. I'm getting such a crash course here in public education
Exactly and now I am also dealing with a failing child.
Don;t get me started about how my daughter is supposed to have books here to do homework because she has 1 book.

The funny thing is, she had an in school suspension, got written up for the jacket, met with Mr assistant P, he told me he would not give her OSS for it, yet he not only did that but gave her an ISS as well. She then got punished because she didn't know about the ISS & didn't go until they pulled her out of class.

I hope things get resolved Monday.
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Old 12-07-2007, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,258 posts, read 5,572,478 times
Reputation: 1707
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolepsy View Post
it's very common and just about every school will have some gruff types.
some schools still use the paddle!
kids usually are not given any respect in the school by the teachers, admin, employees.
Noone better EVER paddle my child, or they'll have their teeth knocked out and a lawsuit on their hands!! I'd homeschool before I put up with that crap. My junior high had a thing where the principal could do it if they had the parents permission. Even at the age of 13, I can tell you they would have had to chase my a** down and tackle me if they would have had any chance of getting me into that principals office. Who sits still for that anyway? Time out without priveleges or participation is much more effective than physically breaking someone spirit.

I remember one spanking from my dad with a belt, and the only thing I felt afterwards was hurt and resentment towards him. That never completely went away to tell the truth. I never would have sit still for it after that. NOONE has the right to make another person feel that way, NOONE!!
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Old 12-19-2007, 08:31 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,150 times
Reputation: 10
the problem is that while that teacher is taking time to discipline an unruly child or children the ones who want to learn sit and wait sometimes this occurrence happens over 12 times a day ! the same disrupting students who do not listen to their parents let alone a teacher or the disciplinarian.I volunteer 2 days a week at my child's 2nd grade
class I am appalled at the disrespect of these children they know their parents will sue if that teacher does anything !! what would you do? homeschooling is looking good considering the time my child is actually being taught no fault to the teachers its the parents of these children!!we have considered renting in wealthier areas just for the schools!!
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