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Old 03-29-2014, 11:43 AM
 
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There is more stories in the news about mature adults between 35-55 moving back with their parents or even grandparents due to job loss and economic crisis.

If your adult child was over 35 years old and showed up at your door step to move in our of economic desperation how long could they live with you? What rules would you set for them? Or would you rather pay for their living expenses in their own place until they could get back on their feet?
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Old 03-29-2014, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,134 posts, read 6,678,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
There is more stories in the news about mature adults between 35-55 moving back with their parents or even grandparents due to job loss and economic crisis.

If your adult child was over 35 years old and showed up at your door step to move in our of economic desperation how long could they live with you? What rules would you set for them? Or would you rather pay for their living expenses in their own place until they could get back on their feet?
If an adult child is moving back home after 35 due to the economy then it must be pretty bad.
No rules except don't make a mess and don't do things that bother people. By 35 I don't think you need to "set down rules". That seems a little ok very crazy.
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Old 03-29-2014, 12:28 PM
 
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Not long. In no time the adult will be working and getting back on his or her feet.

If they won't work, they won't be staying long, if they work -- then it's negotiable, they'd probably leave before I made them leave anyhow.
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Old 03-29-2014, 01:50 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,160 posts, read 20,451,301 times
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My mother would love to have me move back in. She talks about her extra bedrooms and how terrible (she thinks) my husband is all the time, and how she would have room for my pets and my kids just to have some company and some help around the house. (dad has dementia and she's still caring for him at home)

For that matter, my MIL talks about her empty bedrooms and how if we ever needed to move in for a few years, those rooms are just there waiting for us. When we had an apartment, she wanted us to move in with her while we saved up a down payment for a house.

I don't know if I just have a weird mom and MIL, or if parents are more encouraging of the idea of adult children moving back home now. I know my mom was eager to kick me out when I turned 18, and MIL did the same to my husband, so maybe they just get lonely as the years go on. In my mom's case, they've eaten TV dinners or McDonalds since I moved out, so she probably wants me as a cook.
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Old 03-29-2014, 02:06 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,138,247 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
There is more stories in the news about mature adults between 35-55 moving back with their parents or even grandparents due to job loss and economic crisis.

If your adult child was over 35 years old and showed up at your door step to move in our of economic desperation how long could they live with you? What rules would you set for them? Or would you rather pay for their living expenses in their own place until they could get back on their feet?

Is this another one of your 'lets toss something out and see if I can get people riled up' threads...or an actual situation you are working through? That is going to color people's replies.
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Old 03-29-2014, 02:12 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,138,247 times
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Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
My mother would love to have me move back in. She talks about her extra bedrooms and how terrible (she thinks) my husband is all the time, and how she would have room for my pets and my kids just to have some company and some help around the house. (dad has dementia and she's still caring for him at home)

For that matter, my MIL talks about her empty bedrooms and how if we ever needed to move in for a few years, those rooms are just there waiting for us. When we had an apartment, she wanted us to move in with her while we saved up a down payment for a house.

I don't know if I just have a weird mom and MIL, or if parents are more encouraging of the idea of adult children moving back home now. I know my mom was eager to kick me out when I turned 18, and MIL did the same to my husband, so maybe they just get lotnely as the years go on. In my mom's case, they've eaten TV dinners or McDonalds since I moved out, so she probably wants me as a cook.
My late MIL loved having her one son live with her. He was single and working, and contributed, but they just got along well that it was silly for them not share expenses. My husband even lived at home for a time when he was working and before he met me. Now, her daughters.....urgh...I think she'd have done anything to help them...short of having them move back in....lol!

As far as my hubby and I are...our daughter can move back home anytime she wishes to.....but I don't see that happening for long...maybe for a time after she gets out of college if she isn't already settled. My home will always be open to her....I can't imagine just telling a child - nope - you aren't welcome any more no matter the age.
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Old 03-29-2014, 02:15 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,821 posts, read 18,779,327 times
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my kids could live with me for however long they needed too I would love the company and my kids are very clean and they take care of their things so I would have no need for anything and most likely my dil s would not let me cook at all ...I would love to have them all back with me .I lived with my dad in my 20s and I never let him cook or clean at all . I did it all .
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Old 03-29-2014, 02:54 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
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Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
my kids could live with me for however long they needed too I would love the company and my kids are very clean and they take care of their things so I would have no need for anything and most likely my dil s would not let me cook at all ...I would love to have them all back with me .I lived with my dad in my 20s and I never let him cook or clean at all . I did it all .
Our daughter ( now age 29) developed a life-threatening cardiac illness that pretty much derailed her life plans about five years ago- she was about finished with a degree and working part time when it happened. She moved back in with us at that time. It took her about 3-4 years of doctoring, hospital stays, procedures, and finally open-heart surgery and pacemaker placement about 1.5 yrs ago to get her life back. She's still living with us, working on her education as a nurse ( step-wise so she could work as well) thinking that there were more job opportunities in healthcare than in music education. She's just finished her LPN, got her license and is now looking for work in that field. She plans to get her RN and go on from there within the next five years. She's really anxious to get out on her own, but needs to be financially able to do so. We figure she is welcome as long as she needs to be here with us.
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Old 03-29-2014, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,950 posts, read 7,729,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
There is more stories in the news about mature adults between 35-55 moving back with their parents or even grandparents due to job loss and economic crisis.

If your adult child was over 35 years old and showed up at your door step to move in our of economic desperation how long could they live with you? What rules would you set for them? Or would you rather pay for their living expenses in their own place until they could get back on their feet?

Tough question. If no fault of theirs (divorce, financial, health, etc.) then I would help. If their own fault (laziness, gambling, drugs, etc) then I would allow them in if they are trying to cleanup. If an ongoing issue (been here, done this), I would not let them in.
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Old 03-29-2014, 03:36 PM
 
13,161 posts, read 20,780,088 times
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Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
If an adult child is moving back home after 35 due to the economy then it must be pretty bad.
No rules except don't make a mess and don't do things that bother people. By 35 I don't think you need to "set down rules". That seems a little ok very crazy.
In my mind, there are two sets of rules: house rules, and rules directed at offspring. I agree that at 35 there shouldn't be any rules necessary beyond common courtesy type things.

Our eldest returned home after college to pursue his graduate degree in a nearby city. He is very easy to live with, neat, polite and appreciative.

Our middle son may be coming home after he graduates in May, as the job he had lined up was lost when his supervisor quit. He has applied for an out-of-state position, but won't hear until the end of next month if he got it. This boy is the complete opposite of his brother. When he comes home on breaks, it's like a hurricane has hit. Messes left everywhere, loads of kids coming and going at all hours, etc. We've been able to deal with it, because it hasn't been full-time, but he really does disrupt our lives, as good-natured as he is.

One didn't need any rules, the other will probably require them to be repeated.
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