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I am a mother of 6 and now have 12 grandchildren. I want to share a couple of things that I have lived by and they do work no matter what age your child is. The first is the "rule of three". No matter where you are and no matter if you are embarrased, take control. Assuming that you have "rules' of expectations, introduce your child to the counting to 3. In other words, remind your child that their current behavior is not acceptable and there will be consequences if it continues. If they persist then say "1". If it further persists, then say "2" and remind them if you have to say "3" their will be consequence/punishment. If the behavior persists then say "3" and immediately carry out the punishment. This may sound old fashioned but it works. I very rarely get/got to three.
This brings in the other two pieces of my advice, immediacy and consistency. Consistency is the most important trait you can bestow upon your child. Children not only need direction and rules, but they want them. When a child is misbehaving, again no matter where or when, you must address the situation "immediately" and "consistently" I know ths can be hard to do with a full time job and full time school, but the time you do spend with your child can be very impactful on their future. If you even let one episode of bad behavior slide then you have sent a mixed message to your child and have lost total control from that point forward. The next time they misbehave they will have been taught they have a 50/50 shot of getting away with it. That is on you not them.
I must point out that what others have said about temper tantrums is true, These types of episodes do not respond to punishment because they are a quest for attention, so I agree they should for the most part be ignored as long as they only involve the child. When the tantrum becomes aggessive to others, you should definitely step in and provide some type of correction. I also have had great success in "redirecting" the activity to something the child enjoys doing, like watching a favorite movie, or participating in a favorite activity. And yes positive reinforcement for good behavior is and may be even more important than anything else in shaping a child's behavior.
I applaud your perseverence in trying to work and get an education. It is very difficult as a single parent and I too at one point in my life experienced this. Yes it is a sacrifice but a short lived one, and I hope you continue and not feel guilty about it. As it has been said, quality time is worth so much more than quantity of time and your child will benefit in the long run. Good luck.
Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread, is he getting a good nap every day?
That is very important.
My daughter use to have terrible "fits" and it was because I use to skip naps, I didn't realize the importance of naps at that time.
Also, I agree with the others who suggested cutting back on classes for the time being. Before you know it, he will be going to school and you will have time then. You will never be able to go back in time to be with him though.
If you are a full time student and a full time worker, who is watching your little boy? What are they doing/saying to him? Is he at home or at someone else's establishment? If he is at home, do you have any cameras around the house that would enable you to see what is actually going on there? His tantrums and acting out may very well be resulting from some issue with his babysitter(s).
Strongly dislike is making me LMAO. I strongly dislike genocide.
It's insulting when people say, "Hate is such a strong word." Sometimes it's appropriate because it's a word to express natural feelings. Even children have those feelings. It would be unhealthy to suppress their ability to label their feelings accurately.
Yep...you are right...every THREE year old child fully understands the true concept of the word "hate"....gottcha.....I hardly think any child that age can accurately express any valid emotion...love or hate...kid probably "loves"
Ice cream too...my point being.."hate" is both a strong word...and emotion...quite frankly..I do not want my three year old child or grandchild "hating" anything...think about it !
Well, if you want my honest advice, I would encourage you to focus on finding yourself a good man instead of a good book on parenting. Children need fathers. And it sounds like you could use a supportive partner. He could provide for both of you and allow you to spend more time getting an education and raising your child.
I'm not suggesting you settle for just anyone, he needs to be the right guy. And I know, I know, easier said than done. But you'll be doing your child a world of good.
Are you making sure you have a lot of fun with him, play, read, take long walks with him? That is a really fun age.
I try to spend time playing with him. Lately I have been making it a point of spending from 6:30pm when I get home to when he goes to bed between 9 and 10... We eat first after getting home then we play a little after that he takes a bath, and tonight i had hi lay on the couch next to me and I read for about 20 mins and took him to bed. then after that I do all my homework, house work etc.
OP--what time does he get up in the morning? Does he take a nap? How much sleep is he getting? Children his age need 12-14 hours a sleep. Make sure he is getting enough sleep--even if it means putting him to bed earlier. 10 seems a bit late for a 2 year old. Lack of sleep can lead to poor behavior at any age.
Good for you for using your time with him nicely though!
I try to spend time playing with him. Lately I have been making it a point of spending from 6:30pm when I get home to when he goes to bed between 9 and 10... We eat first after getting home then we play a little after that he takes a bath, and tonight i had hi lay on the couch next to me and I read for about 20 mins and took him to bed. then after that I do all my homework, house work etc.
That's pretty good -- always keep in mind that these are the best times of your life, and they go by very fast. Make sure you have a lot of fun with him, they grow up very fast.
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