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Yea, I question the expectation as well. I think it's something that can be discussed, but not necessaily be the default. With that said, my husband and I decided that it was my call and I gifted him our daughter to take his name. Although, he wasn't particularly attached to his name. I figured it was my honor to bring about her life and it could be his honor, at the very least, to share a name. I didn't want to leave him out if that makes any sense. Perhaps men feel short changed in that arena so the name has greater importance.
I like your attitude and the cooperation attitude it should be there for parents no matter what.
I believe the issue really is if your unmarried do you give your child the fathers lastname? Lets face it, we need to encourage guys to be parents, why would you not give the child his fathers lastname? We need to accept that yes guys don't take responsibility but also we make it difficult to be parents too.
I like your attitude and the cooperation attitude it should be there for parents no matter what.
I believe the issue really is if your unmarried do you give your child the fathers lastname? Lets face it, we need to encourage guys to be parents, why would you not give the child his fathers lastname? We need to accept that yes guys don't take responsibility but also we make it difficult to be parents too.
I WAS married and we gave my son MY last name. My husband had no problem with it. He had a slew of brothers to carry on the family name and I had nobody. My dad was very happy.
In another thread about teen pregnancy, there is a debate about whether or not a baby should be given the father's last name.
I personally think that the baby should have the mother's last name, unless the parents are married. (Especially in cases of teen pregnancies.) if the father sticks around and is a good father, then the last name can be changed or hyphenated.
Thoughts?
I think this is one of those debates that you instantly lose the moment you use the word "should".
There is no "should" about it. It is purely the choice of the parents involved - and no one else - much less you - or me.
Isnt that like i want the benefits of a commitment but want my freedom at the sametime? Obviously we as a culture has lost the ideal of what a commitment is when in all the world we have the highest divorce rate. But what does that have to do with the topic?
Its how commited can one be if not willing to even make an effort to comply with the silly rituals that bind a marriage like taking your husbands lastname.
Or how can a parent who really cares about a child not legitimise a child and ensure the child has full love of both parents?
There are all kinds of marriages, some for love, some for convenience, some for security. And others.
Silly rituals aren't what bind a marriage though. And really how committed can you actually be if you rely on silly rituals to feel committed in a relationship?
Silly rituals aren't what bind a marriage though. And really how committed can you actually be if you rely on silly rituals to feel committed in a relationship?
That wasn't my point, but its ok don't want to argue.
It is a rather pointless thing to argue about anyway.
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