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Dd#2 doesn't know where her sister is. Dd#1 has blocked her cell number. I assume dd#1's boyfriend knows where she is but he isn't speaking to us. Dd#1 has not contacted her cousins or the friends that I know or if she has they're lying and telling me she has not contacted them. I'm concerned. Dd's boyfriend has always been controlling and now he has full control of her. The first thing an abuser does is isolate you from those who could help you. My sister's husband kept her from family for years. When he finally went too far and she left him we found out she'd been physically and emotionally battered for years. Maybe I'm reading too much into this but his actions right now remind me too much of my ex BIL. I'm starting to wonder if he's not the reason dd wouldn't get a job. Was he telling her not to knowing that he could isolate her from her family if we threw her out?
Dd reminds me a lot of my sister. I expect it will be years before I hear from her again IF I ever hear from her again. I just pray that she hasn't fallen into the same trap my sister did. Her boyfriend can get violent. To my knowledge he has never gotten violent with her but she's been here and that would have been hard for him to do. Since she's known him he's put two people in the hospital. I guess it's ok though. She's out of the house, out of my life and has to grow up now.
I won't be checking back on this thread. I don't like being kicked when I'm down and too many here like to kick when I'm down because it makes them feel superior.
Have fun kicking. I hope it makes you feel like a big person.
Details that might have been good to know up thread. A few weeks ago, you were ready to set her and BF up in an apartment together. Why are these now concerns all of a sudden?
I don't really see anyone kicking you while you are down, but whatever. You see what you want to see. I see what you are doing. You finally took some advice you were given and now you are turning it around like "we" were all wrong and now DD is in a dangerous situation because of us and you'll never ever see her again. It has been a week. Don't you think it is a little early to be making predictions about that?
All very well for those WITHOUT 19 year old daughters to criticise.....but the aliens stole my daughter at age 15 and she's now 22 and I'm still waiting for the real version to come back.
OP - I feel for you - but you have brought up another entitled little madam (just like I did) who thinks she is THE MOST IMPORTANT individual in the universe.
The only possible cure for her narcissism is REALITY.
A good dose of it.
Your daughter is about to get some REALITY, give it 6 months and she'll come crawling back.
Or maybe not. There is no law that says you HAVE to like or enjoy your adult children.
You've done your best. I know it hurts like a b8tch but you have to cut the apron strings if you are going to have any chance of turning her into a mature, thoughtful adult.
That old saying - If you love them, set them free - that is just as important for parents.
Good grief. Yet another thread from Ivory, that grows and grows as long as she gets validation. For the record, most of the responses to the latest news were that DD1 left your husband no choice. It appears that you want this to fall squarely on him, and are buying into the worst case scenarios. You never wrote any concerns about the BF.
If she was truly on the street, you would know by now. Wherever she ended up, she is reasonably safe, and in charge of her own future. Use this time to mend your relationship with what's left of your family.
You are making a pretty big assumption that many of us have not had 19 y.o. children before.
And it doesn't really matter, anyway. It's an exercise in common sense, or experience in being that 19 year old.
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