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It looks like she/he is hinting that because you don't bully your child then of course you'll receive tantrums from your child. I honestly don't know where some of these opinions come from. I think some of them are to just shock us or at least I hope that's what it is about because I certainly would not want to be raised with a belt because I couldn't control my natural disappointment. For God's sake - he's a child!!
I am talking about the juxtaposition of your snide, superior "I wouldn't stoop to spanking" attitude with the fact that you're the one with the tantrum-throwing kid. It's quite fitting, and it will probably continue.
I think some of them are to just shock us or at least I hope that's what it is about because I certainly would not want to be raised with a belt because I couldn't control my natural disappointment. For God's sake - he's a child!!
Well, we'll have to agree to disagree there. I'm very grateful for how I was raised. And as for him "being a child", we are not talking about age-appropriate behavior or even age-appropriate misbehavior here. We're talking about misbehavior that should've been spanked out of him a few years back (if that is what was necessary.)
Kids have tantrums in an attempt to control adults or to force adults into doing something the child desires.
Sometimes that is it, sometimes it is just bottled up energy and expecations and sugar with no where else to go. He's "full" and needs to release.
Either way, there are tons of ways to demonstrate control that don't involve beating a kid. You just have to have enough control of your own emotions and reactions to realize that hitting a kid is unnecessary and often counterproductive in the long run.
I don't think he should be beat but I do think the gifts that he got at that party should have been taken away until he apologizes to the attendees. If he doesn't have consequences to his actions, he will continue to act this way.
And yes, I know he's only six and it's semi-excusable but when an 8 or 10 year old throws a hissy fit, they look like fools. And when they turn into adolescent and teen fits, they can be dangerous.
I think the mother is on the right track since she was concerned enough to post here. I believe she will do the best thing for her son- she obviously knows this was not right.
At the very end we did a pinata. This is where the major temper tantrum came into play. All the kids hit the pinata, then it was the older brother's turn. He whacked it so hard (as he should) that it broke the thing open and all the candy flew out.
My son lost it. He wanted to hit the pinata again. He had a major, full blown tantrum right in front of everyone and therefore, missed out on even picking up the candy from the ground.
I was so pissed and embarrassed. He had a great party up until then, then it all went to hell. He was crying so hard that he missed out on thanking his guests and seeing them to the door. The families left and the tantrum continued for at least 20 more minutes...screaming, yelling, etc.
What the hell???? I thought six year olds shouldn't act like that? I think my son may be emotionally behind? He acted like a two year old.
Any thoughts???
I wouldn't worry about it. He could have been tired for one.. then the newness of doing the pinata and being able to hit it.. he is the birthday boy and probably thought that he should get to hit it a few times and be the one to crack that sucker open.
I might have told my daughter that if she enjoyed the pinata so much that we'd try to put it back together for her to hit some more or, maybe purchase another to play with.. She'd probably forget I mentioned maybe getting another..
I wouldn't worry about it. He could have been tired for one.. then the newness of doing the pinata and being able to hit it.. he is the birthday boy and probably thought that he should get to hit it a few times and be the one to crack that sucker open.
I might have told my daughter that if she enjoyed the pinata so much that we'd try to put it back together for her to hit some more or, maybe purchase another to play with.. She'd probably forget I mentioned maybe getting another..
The very best advice written yet so far! Kudos to you and thank you for putting your 2 cents in!!!
My son received a pinata for his birthday just 2 weeks ago, but Grandma didn't know they didn't come already filled with stuff. We had to persuade him to wait until Christmas (Jesus' birthday) and he worked it out in his head that it would work, but he was very disappointed. Sorry about the birthday reference to Christmas as I know that will offend, but that's the truth and what he was told. I know religion is a touchy point with some.
Well, we'll have to agree to disagree there. I'm very grateful for how I was raised. And as for him "being a child", we are not talking about age-appropriate behavior or even age-appropriate misbehavior here. We're talking about misbehavior that should've been spanked out of him a few years back (if that is what was necessary.)
Everything in moderation seems to fit here, as well as a reminder that not all children learn the same way. Some do fine with intellectual reminders and some benefit much more from "a good whalin". Each child and each event must be dealt with according to it's own merits and response to stimulus.
I have two children that are mostly grown up now. The older, boy, needed a hand on the rear to get his attention until he got to about 12. The daughter only required a disappointed look to bring her around, most of the time. I do recall two occasions in her life that she got a spanking. I cannot count the number I required over the same number of years of growing up.
I have known children that could not appreciate the difference between right and wrong, some who knew from a inordinately young age and some that knew but just did not care. I came closer to the latter group as there were many things I judged growing up to be well worth the trouble that came with it, even if that trouble wore a belt.
It is simplistic to believe that no child deserves to be physically disciplined and just as simple to believe that all children need it. Each child responds differently and the least physical deterrent possible should be applied. The point is that when necessary, it also must be applied.
I cannot judge if this child would respond appropriately to corporal punishment, nor can I determine if this is a warning of future discipline problems or only an incident of an overly tired child acting out. I suspect it is more than only that due to the duration of the tantrum. I have not know any children that acted out that long that did not have some level of discipline issue.
I have known some children that I felt were certainly over disciplined and I do not advocate that at all. Only an appropriate response to a circumstance that usually only the parents and close family or friends are knowledgeable enough to determine.
In regards to my son's usual disposition...he is typically quiet, reserved, and serious at times. He is very well liked by his teachers, peers, and administration at the school. He received good grades for academics AND excellent remarks about his behavior at school. The more I read what people are saying, the more I'm inclined to think that we definitely WON'T have a pinata next year, that he WAS loaded up on sugar and expectations, and that overall, he's a great kid that usually DOES respond well to verbal redirection and consequences (toys taken away, sent to his room, and more I can't think of because it's 10:40pm). He's a very sensitive child and I love that about him. Thanks for everyones' opinions. They've been helpful and eye-opening.
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