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Old 12-09-2007, 07:51 AM
 
833 posts, read 4,369,988 times
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My six year old had his birthday party yesterday. We had it at our house and he only wanted two friends to be there. These two friends brought their siblings also, so total there were six kids.
The party went well...we decorated Christmas cookies that the kids could take home, ate sushi (my six year old's choice), and had cake and opened presents. At the very end we did a pinata. This is where the major temper tantrum came into play. One of his friends brought her older brother to the party...he's only seven. All the kids hit the pinata, then it was the older brother's turn. He whacked it so hard (as he should) that it broke the thing open and all the candy flew out.
My son lost it. He wanted to hit the pinata again. He had a major, full blown tantrum right in front of everyone and therefore, missed out on even picking up the candy from the ground.
I was so pissed and embarrassed. He had a great party up until then, then it all went to hell. He was crying so hard that he missed out on thanking his guests and seeing them to the door. The families left and the tantrum continued for at least 20 more minutes...screaming, yelling, etc.
What the hell???? I thought six year olds shouldn't act like that? I think my son may be emotionally behind? He acted like a two year old.
Any thoughts???

 
Old 12-09-2007, 07:58 AM
 
Location: huh?
3,099 posts, read 1,912,862 times
Reputation: 498
maybe the stress of the day contributed to his meltdown? six is still the "baby" age so i wouldnt worry unless this keeps happening. no more pinata parties.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 08:23 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,902 posts, read 20,895,074 times
Reputation: 14817
Hey, I still have days where I would "like" to scream, yell and cry!! And I am a grandmother!! As the other poster said---it was a stressful day and your son finally just had to get it all out. If this were a common occurance I might be concerned but when you look at the big picture it probably was all building up inside him. It's always worse for the parent because we get embarassed by their actions. But remember--they are still children. I wouldn't worry yourself over this experience.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Central Florida
1,594 posts, read 4,802,899 times
Reputation: 1168
All three of my kids have had blow-ups like this a few times. My 7 year old is the worst believe it or not. The secret is not to freak out about it because it will make it worse on your child and might add to the embarrassment of the situation. Just remind him next time that behavior like that will not be tolerated. Also, do you think he might have been tired? My children seem to act up more when they are tired.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
987 posts, read 3,391,274 times
Reputation: 356
The curse of the misplaced expectation.

Kid just doesn't know how to deal with it. He genuinely thought that he'd be the one to bust open the pinata. After all, it was his birthday, his day, and his pinata to bust. I'd just sit him down, ask him... "you really wished you could have busted open the pinata didn't you? But so and so did it. I know you really wanted to do it, but look at (insert positive spin here) and I'm so proud of you because you really gave it a good shot!"

Or something like that. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 10:48 AM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,626,844 times
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If its an isolated incident, I wouldn't worry too much. At this age good sportsmanship is a hard lesson for kids to learn. Discuss with him that we can't always win and don't always have extra turns. My kids are 5 & 7. They are slowly learning what a good sport and a poor sport are.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 11:20 AM
 
2,484 posts, read 7,900,413 times
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It's never too early to teach a child beyond toddler age self control. Tell your 6 year old there will be no more parties until he can learn to control himself. Also. make him apologize to you about being rude.


It worked with my mom and me :P


signed,

former tantrum queen.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 07:37 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 3,229,339 times
Reputation: 485
My younger son has a hard time controlling his temper, he's seven now. Some kids/people just have that kind of personality and you have to work with them on it all the time (or maybe it just seems that way.) He's passionate, tough of the outside, soft on the inside, and doesn't know when he's had enough.

If this sounds familiar, perhaps he's the type that likes structure and will respond best when given clear expectations for his behavior and hold the line with consequences when he misbehaves. This doesn't mean you can't be understanding or kind. Just that you have to be crystal clear in what you want from him.

If you're going to say, "no more parties", be sure to tell him exactly what he must do/how he must behave in order to get back into your good graces.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 08:33 PM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,039,895 times
Reputation: 25076
I always say it's not a party til the birthday kid cries.

Really though, birthday parties are stressful for some kids. Days and days of expectation, lots of noise, lots of sugar, lots of being treated like the birthday prince while simultaneously expected to share and act like a host. My daughter is 9 and still pitched a fit at her sleepover party. It was really late when it happened and that was part of it, but being a gracious host is a lot to expect of a little kid.

Don't worry about it--all parents have been there at one time or another. If big groups are stressful, next year you can limit it to two kids and go out for sushi and a movie or something. I certainly would not punish him for his tantrum. I'm sure he was as distressed by it as you were.
 
Old 12-09-2007, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 20,589,351 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by summers19 View Post
My six year old had his birthday party yesterday. We had it at our house and he only wanted two friends to be there. These two friends brought their siblings also, so total there were six kids.
The party went well...we decorated Christmas cookies that the kids could take home, ate sushi (my six year old's choice), and had cake and opened presents. At the very end we did a pinata. This is where the major temper tantrum came into play. One of his friends brought her older brother to the party...he's only seven. All the kids hit the pinata, then it was the older brother's turn. He whacked it so hard (as he should) that it broke the thing open and all the candy flew out.
My son lost it. He wanted to hit the pinata again. He had a major, full blown tantrum right in front of everyone and therefore, missed out on even picking up the candy from the ground.
I was so pissed and embarrassed. He had a great party up until then, then it all went to hell. He was crying so hard that he missed out on thanking his guests and seeing them to the door. The families left and the tantrum continued for at least 20 more minutes...screaming, yelling, etc.
What the hell???? I thought six year olds shouldn't act like that? I think my son may be emotionally behind? He acted like a two year old.
Any thoughts???
Any such behaviour from mine would not have lasted 20 minutes. It would have lasted about 20 seconds- until he saw the belt coming off.
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