My 15 yr. old hates High school!! (bullying, ideas, teens, teaching)
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He has never complained about school before, but this is his first yr. at High School, and he is failing 2 out of 4 classes.
He is very smart, and I keep asking him why, but he just says that he does not like public schools, and is very unhappy. He said that he would like to be home schooled, or even a private school.
He mentioned the other day something about online schooling. We both work, and home schooling is out!
He says that it is not bullying, but all I know, is its very difficult to watch your son be miserable everyday that he has to go to school.
Any ideas, advice?
Are there perhaps any charter schools or alternative high schools that would interest your son?
Does he have friends? Perhaps an issue with a girl he liked?
IS there someone else he could talk to that maybe he would feel more comfortable sharing with? There is something definitly going on that he is not talking about.
He has never complained about school before, but this is his first yr. at High School, and he is failing 2 out of 4 classes. He is very smart, and I keep asking him why, but he just says that he does not like public schools, and is very unhappy. He said that he would like to be home schooled, or even a private school.
He mentioned the other day something about online schooling. We both work, and home schooling is out!
He says that it is not bullying, but all I know, is its very difficult to watch your son be miserable everyday that he has to go to school.
Any ideas, advice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J
Very smart kids (high IQ) are typically bored with high school which goes too slow for them. Thus their mind wanders and they don't pay attention.
Sort of like being forced to watch a snail move across a table. You get bored, and then might miss it, if something happens!
College and classes which go too fast for most people - and self-learning at a fast pace - will keep the attention of a person with a high IQ.
OP, if you agree with Billy_J that he may be bored with school because he is too smart, here are a few suggestions to investigate as well as some other possible ideas.
Most high schools have honors classes, advanced level and specialty classes designed for gifted children even at the freshman level. Were these type of classes suggested to you when he planned his HS schedule?
Even if your high school does not have those classes (which would really surprise me) Most/many "very smart" kids frequently volunteer/ask/or just do extra work outside of class. For example, if he is bored with his basic science class he can easily design his own electronics or make his own model rockets or do his own chemistry experiments at home. Many bright kids used to learn things in the classroom and then expand on that information on their own, just because they love learning.
What about clubs? Most HSs have numerous clubs, some of which are really designed for high and even extra high achieving students. My kids HS has Model United Nations, Mock Trial, Foreign Language Clubs, Advanced Experimental Science Club, Outdoor Exploration Science Club, Math Clubs, History Clubs, Computer Clubs and many more. Plus the usual extra curricular activities such as Drama Club, Dance. Band, Art, Sports, etc.
What about the programs that link HS students with college and professional organizations? Even freshman students at my kids HS were able to do weekend classes, summer school enrichment activities and other things at the Medical College and the Law School in my town as well as many, many different activities/groups.
If your child is "very smart" I am assuming that he is used to having straight As on his report card. There must be a reason why he is getting an F in two of his four classes. Perhaps, he decided that getting a B or a C wasn't acceptable so he just gave up You would be surprised at how many well above average teens do not see a difference between getting a B, C, D or F because any of those grades mean that they are a failure (at least that is what they think).
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I hate to be blunt, but is it possible that your son is not quite as smart as you think? Sometimes one school may give very high grades and if the child attended a different school their grades would be much lower.
Or maybe your son is having problems with an undiagnosed learning issue that is finally catching up to him and causing problems? Some children who transfer from a K-8 school to a large HS have problems adjusting. Are there any mental health issues or depression that could be causing him problems. Does his specific class/grade level have a disproportionate amount of jerks or bullies or sociopaths in it? (my daughter graduated in 2006 and numerous teachers, including elementary school teachers, say that that group of children was the absolute worst class that they had ever seen in their entire teaching career)
Does he have friends or people that he hangs out with in or out of school? How did he do first semester? Was he unhappy then or did this just start?
There could be many reasons besides "being bored in school" and "not liking public schools" that could be making your son unhappy.
What do his teachers and guidance counselor say about the situation?
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-06-2014 at 11:40 AM..
He may be bored, then again maybe he is just not fitting in this year.
A bright kid coming out of middle or junior high school goes to high school. He or she may have been top of the pyramid as far as grades go in the past. Suddenly he encounters kids just as smart or even much smarter. It can be an ego blow. Now he's got to really compete and some kids don't like that. If you've always been first, it can be tough to be third or fifth, etc.
Also, a child who was a social butterfly or who felt important in lower grades now finds him or herself a lowly freshman, the bottom of the high school social heap. Again, another ego blow.
This school year is about finished. Is your son working with a guidance counselor to see if he can get into advanced placement classes next year ? Is he looking into clubs he can join where he can enjoy his favorite subjects- like math club, science club, nature club, computer clubs ? High schools have so many things going on, there should be something that interests him.
Socially he may be having problems. While he may not be bullied, he may also not be one of the popular kids. This is the age when kids start having girl friends/ boyfriends. He may not be attracting other students, other kids maybe more interested in dating than he is. He may simply feel left out or left behind.
In the past he was in a middle or junior high school that was likely smaller than where he is now. The old group of kids he grew up with may be scattered. They may be in the same school, but larger groups and schedules may not permit him seeing them very much. It could be he feels he's on his own now and is not coping well with that thought and isn't making new friends.
I'd try to draw him out more and see what is really going on. The fact that he wants to be home schooled , where he doesn't have to be around other students or wants the small classes of a private school is telling you something. I think this may be more of a social problem than an academically bored child.
Yes I tend to agree the problem seems to be social rather than boredom. If you are bored because classes are too easy, you won't be failing two of them.
Tell him that you'll do everything you can to help him out, but he's going to have to tell you what's going on so that you know what needs changing. For example, if he's being bullied, changing schools could be the answer. If school has always come easy and now it's challenging, he might need a tutor. If he's sad and unmotivated and doesn't know why, he could be depressed. If he feels like he doesn't fit in, there might be a club or group he can join. It just takes one activity to give a kid a sense of belonging.
Also, talk to the teachers in the classes he's failing. Is he not turning in his homework? Is he bombing the tests? Is he skipping class?
You need more info before you can help. Try to talk to him like an adult and problem-solve together.
He says, its the fact that he cannot choose his classes. He feels that other subjects like Math and Physical Science are a waste of his effort, and time. He just told me, that he is not going to ever have to use Algebra 1 for what he wants to grow up and be..he feels like its all a waste.
He wants to take classes that he feels will be helpful to him in the future, like Social Studies, History, etc.
He wants a more flexible time schedule, which don`t we all!
He said he wants to go into Politics, and is very oriented around it.
To me, these are not good enough excuses to be failing, but we have talked to him until we are blue about how important it is, these next 4 yrs. He is just so un interested in it, and we hate to see him struggling like this! Its crucial, for the rest of his life, and he don`t seem to get it, that he HAS to do these classes, in order to get the credit. We will more than likely have to send him to summer school to make up for his credits, if he fails this semester.
He does not have very many friends. He is not interested in girls,.. Says they are too much drama!
He is not interested in learning to drive. I thought at first, it was a teenage phase, but when he starts bring home failing grades, he has got my full attention!!
We have discussed Charter schools. They have a few Private schools here too.
He wants to be home schooled, which is out.
He said that he don`t like preppy kids, and there are only a handful of kids he feels he can talk to. Social issues.
I hated high school too. The academics were not stimulating, most of the other students were uninteresting and immature, and I had limited ability to make decisions for myself. In my experience, the people who claim that "high school is the best time of your life" are the ones that didn't do much with their lives after high school.
By the way, I moved to Tennessee the middle of my sophomore year from California. Terrible experience due in large part to the clannish and insular nature of Tennesseans (in East Tennessee anyway).
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