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Old 10-04-2008, 01:15 PM
 
12 posts, read 25,945 times
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**** i had to pick my stepdaughter up the other day for an appointment with her obstetrician because shes pregnant not only would the secretaries not let me pick her up till i had to call my husband but also called the vice principal down to "deal with me"
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Old 10-04-2008, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,903,683 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homewardbound66 View Post
I feel for you. I am 41 years old with a 5 year old and most moms are very much younger than me. I always feel a bit odd, but my encounters have ended happily as along as I put myself out there for my son's sake. He's extremely extraverted and will talk with anyone. Went to the post office and he told everyone and I mean everyone within earshot he got a package and so did Mommy. I try to explain this doesn't mean the world to everyone else, but what can you do. God put him in my arms 5 years ago for a reason and I believe it was partially to make myself more availabe to people because I couldn't pretend they didn't exist. I had to take chances and risk being rejected, which is a big fear with most. He has no fear of rejection and wouldn't know if another mom was 19 years old or 40 something. He could care less. He mostly opens the lines of communication and I just follow. Our children are the best teachers and I KNOW I have much to learn. Good luck, peace, and be happy within yourself!
I am also 41 and my youngest is only 3... my oldest just turned 6. I have always,always felt out of place.I have always been the oldest mom in everything that I have tried to be a part of.. playgroups,preschools,etc...
I would venture to say that I believe the "oldest" mom next to me at my 3 yr old's preschool is possibly 30! the rest are most definitely younger.
In our neighborhood,there are couples who are in their mid 30's with teenagers,so I am very,very out of place here.

I try to not let it bother me and I try to become involved in conversations,etc... but it is hard sometimes.
The other issue I have is that my children are adopted. Almost always,
the conversation turns to pregnancy,labor and breastfeeding. All 3 of which I have never experienced. Most of the time I end up walking away because quite honestly, I can't believe how long these conversations can take place.
I know that when we are with our friends from the adoption community,we certainly talk about our process,etc... but I know that we don't go on and on for hours about it.

I think it is best that you be who you are,try not to let it bother you (to the original post,being younger) You will find that your true friends are those that don't care about things that don't matter.
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Old 10-06-2008, 07:56 PM
 
81 posts, read 226,651 times
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Originally Posted by mimi111 View Post
**** i had to pick my stepdaughter up the other day for an appointment with her obstetrician because shes pregnant not only would the secretaries not let me pick her up till i had to call my husband but also called the vice principal down to "deal with me"
Tell your farking husband to take HIS daughter to the doctor. UGH!
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Old 10-11-2008, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Southern Maine, Greater Portland
511 posts, read 775,337 times
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I was 21 when my first child was born and experienced the same feelings. The other parents were about 10 or so years older and tended to be distant and unapproachable at first. The more involved my husband and I got in school events the more familiar we became to them making it easier on us. We always took the opportunity to start up a conversation when we saw another parent standing alone, best time to get that one on one. Chances are they welcome the conversation because they may feel awkward standing there alone also. It does get better, although it sure can be nerve racking and uncomfortable at first. Volunteering with other parents is a great way to break the ice and show that you are concerned, caring and loving parents. Those are the qualities that will give you a common ground helping to create friendships.
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Old 10-14-2008, 07:45 AM
 
213 posts, read 596,616 times
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wow..I thought it was just me over the years. I was 20 when i had my daughter, it was lonely for a while because I was in college and lost a lot of so called friends but it got better and i met other women who were also in school with children or had children my daughters age and we bonded. I'm 26 now and just turned 6 the other day and we moved to a new place. She is more involved with school and me continously looking for work I haven't really had time to worry about it. I just focus on her and the things we can do together. Also, my daughter is hearing impaired and uses sign language a lot to communicate and as we all know children can be cruel and point differences out so it is hard to find parents or even other children in our situation with out the being a young single mother to add to it. lol... but hey that's life, we make the most out of it...lol
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:57 AM
 
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im 19 and am pregnant. Many people told me not to have the child, as i will never be accepted in society and will always be labeled in a negative way. I choose to have my child, i have a place of my own and live with my boyfriend. I hope when my child goes off to play group and school people will be respectful of my situation and not make judgments. Everyone wants to give their child the best chance in life no matter what age they are.
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:08 AM
 
1,219 posts, read 3,748,258 times
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Originally Posted by ExpectingMumy View Post
im 19 and am pregnant. Many people told me not to have the child, as i will never be accepted in society and will always be labeled in a negative way. I choose to have my child, i have a place of my own and live with my boyfriend. I hope when my child goes off to play group and school people will be respectful of my situation and not make judgments. Everyone wants to give their child the best chance in life no matter what age they are.
People told me the same sort of things when I was 20 and pregnant. It's crap-it didn't turn out true. I'm eternally grateful I didn't listen to those folks. My now-16 yos is the best thing that ever happened to me (well, my other 4 kids and dh are too ). I met and married dh when ds was 2. People will judge no matter what! I still get judged, even as a long-time married mom. It's always something. I have learned to do what is best for me and my particular family and screw everyone else LOL. I have no regrets and am very blessed and love how my life has turned out!

My youngest child is in kindergarten now and now I'm one of the 'older' parents But at open house at ds' high school, I still feel really young as many of those folks are grayhairs. Which I will be too by the time dd gets there.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:47 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
546 posts, read 1,465,187 times
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I was 22 when I had my first child. He was planned, I had been married for 2.5 years already, and I owned my own house. Even then, I had a few years of being automatically stereotyped as the troubled pregnant teenage daughter instead of the Mrs of the house.

bringing my son to preschool for the first time I was surrounded by several women in their mid 30's. I was fortunate, in my small town at the time, to find 2 others who were my age, and had been in the same position as I. We bonded and had our own play groups. It was wonderful to find people who actually understood the exclusion many unknowingly make by assuming something based upon looks.

I am now 30. My son is 7. I have a 2.5 year old and one due in 5 weeks. I've moved, and found a wonderful site of local moms from all ages and backgrounds. I have found there are a lot more of us "younger" moms out there than you would think. And a lot of them are younger moms who chose be to such. As I get older I hear a lot of comments from my older friends how they envy me as I will be just 41 when my oldest graduates high school. it's funny how the tables turn in a matter of years. I personally can not wait until my kids have stretched their wings and Im old enough to have a stable financial ability to travel and be young enough to really enjoy it with my husband when the time comes.
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:20 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,269,425 times
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Originally Posted by AngelaRed View Post
I had my first child when I was 22 and truthfully every parent event or playgroup or church function I've ever been to where my child can be involved with kids her age I am ALWAYS younger than the rest of the parents. Even now I'm 28 my child is 6. I have always felt like these somewhat older parents who had more time to get the nicer house, nicer veichle, nicer whatever, are withdrawn from me. I mean I go up and try to get involved but they always seem distant. I almost feel judged. maybe because they think I'm young I wouldn't know or "not mature" maybe because I don't have that nicer whatever.

I was just wondering if this is common? And even though I'm almost 30, I guess in my daughters age group I will always be the "young parent"


On the flip side of the coin I also have a 2yr old son, and a 5month old son and the parents in of their peers are still a tiny bit older than me, but I fit in better for some reason.

I feel your pain. Try being a Stay-At-home Dad. Talk about feeling left out of all the Reindeer Games , which also effects the kids cuz they aren't participating in the Moms Only Gab Club and are hence stuck with only dear old lonely dad trying to find stuff to do to get thru the day thats fun
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Old 05-22-2009, 08:36 AM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,206,704 times
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Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
I feel your pain. Try being a Stay-At-home Dad. Talk about feeling left out of all the Reindeer Games , which also effects the kids cuz they aren't participating in the Moms Only Gab Club and are hence stuck with only dear old lonely dad trying to find stuff to do to get thru the day thats fun
Jack, have you thought about placing an ad for a SAHD group? With the economy the way it is right now I imagine that there are now more SAHDs who are feeling overwhelmed and lonely too. I was reading a news story somewhere just recently, I think on yahoo, that there is a big role reversal in who is working and who is staying home with the kids and more and more guys are finding themselves being the SAHP.

Now to the OP, I was 9 days shy of being 18 when I had my oldest. So yes I am one of the youngest parents in my oldest child's peer group. I sometimes felt a bit inferior to the other parents. But then I had to remember that I will be around a lot longer to see grandkids and possibly great grandkids and if I'm lucky enough like my own grandmother great, great grandkids. I am already a grandmother now, and I tell you it is so nice to be a young grand parent because I can do more with her because I actually have the energy to do stuff with her. I can run, chase, throw balls and do all sorts of physical activities longer than most 60 yo. grandparents.

It really surprises people when I tell them that my grand child is my grand child, because most people automatically assume she is my child because I am young enough to actually be her mother.

I am very proud of my children all 5 of them and I'm proud of my grand daughter. I feel I have done and am doing the right thing raising my kids to be responsible, hard working and honest kids. It has helped too in the fact that I can still relate to them, because it wasn't all that long ago I was their age and I can remember being their ages that much clearer.
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