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OpenDNS ... It's free. Covers everything connected to the router (including phones, tablets and xbox). Has customizable black and white lists (so you can let through a site that you deem OK that openDNS has blocked. OpenDNS is community-based, so sites are being added all the time.)
Provides stats. Warns about malware. (But is not a substitute for good antivirus software)
But there is not a shield for everything.
You have to know that he'll see what he wants to see. Just try to give him the tools to handle it, and to know that it's not realistic.
no, i really dont. saying 'iphones are the culprit' is almost like claiming 'guns caused the Sandy Hook massacre'.
Sigh...too tired to argue with post nitpickers. Of course humans are the culprits. Ya got me!!! What would an iPhone be without a human to operate it! What would a gun be....good job bringing up Sandy Hook....without a human to fire it! You are right!
What I was trying to say when you took one sentence out of context (forgive me for using the term culprit) is that there is a danger with smart devices and a parent must be just as vigilant, even more so, since kids spend so much time on them. Texting, social apps, photos.....they are all ways that our kids communicate nowadays. We have to be much more vigilant with these devices than an old fashioned computer. In our unfortunate school incident, humans were the culprits using smartphones with nefarious purposes. In another incident, we had to alert another parent to a cutting situation. Shortly afterwards, the girl entered therapy. So yeah, I love my smart devices yet one must be very alert.
3. Not a century ago it was common for 13-15yos to get married and have their own kids before 20.
4. I'm conservative politically and fiscally, however, the dumbest thing we Americans do is turn sexual topics into taboos for our kids.
5. The cat is out of the bag. Boys think about sexual things constantly. There is no way to segregate them from these thoughts and access to related images in fixed format - playboy/Hustler and internet stuff.
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3. Well, a century ago, children as young as 8 worked from 7 in the morning until 6 or 7 at night, six days a week. This was a GOOD thing? Saying things were common a hundred years ago does not necessarily harken back to a better time. There were LOT of things that were common a hundred years ago that would (and are) loudly condemned today.
4. I agree that parents should talk to their kids about sexual values without embarrassment, confusion or condemnation.
5. "The cat is out of the bag"? WTH? It's not news that males think about sex more than females. HOWEVER -- no one was ever addicted to Playboy or Penthouse the way they are to internet porn. Internet porn is far more unrealistic and explicit than the fantasies that teenage boys might have over a picture of a nekkid woman with big boobs. No one ever lost their family, jobs, savings or self-respect because of an compulsion/addiction to internet porn. It's like alcohol -- you never know if you have the propensity to be an alcoholic until you wake up one morning and realize, "Well, daaammmmmn . . . " Same with porn -- some people can watch it and shrug it off. For other people, the triggers of the pleasure centers in the brain from the ramped-up sexual arousal demand more and more feeding . . . to the point where human sexual interaction isn't enough, or even desirable. No one starts out thinking they are going to give their lives over to constant sexual stimulation in the form of internet porn. There's a lot of porn widows -- women who got fed up with a husband who would stare for hours at strangers having sex on a video screen (or, worse, participating in sex chat rooms) and lose all interest in sex with a warm and willing human being.
A responsible parent wouldn't allow their 13 year old to guzzle as much beer as he wanted. Why is it that guzzling sex in the form of internet porn is ok? It's a form of child abuse, as far as I'm concerned, if you know your child is watching internet porn and you don't take steps to curb it.
3. Well, a century ago, children as young as 8 worked from 7 in the morning until 6 or 7 at night, six days a week. This was a GOOD thing? Saying things were common a hundred years ago does not necessarily harken back to a better time. There were LOT of things that were common a hundred years ago that would (and are) loudly condemned today.
4. I agree that parents should talk to their kids about sexual values without embarrassment, confusion or condemnation.
5. "The cat is out of the bag"? WTH? It's not news that males think about sex more than females. HOWEVER -- no one was ever addicted to Playboy or Penthouse the way they are to internet porn. Internet porn is far more unrealistic and explicit than the fantasies that teenage boys might have over a picture of a nekkid woman with big boobs. No one ever lost their family, jobs, savings or self-respect because of an compulsion/addiction to internet porn. It's like alcohol -- you never know if you have the propensity to be an alcoholic until you wake up one morning and realize, "Well, daaammmmmn . . . " Same with porn -- some people can watch it and shrug it off. For other people, the triggers of the pleasure centers in the brain from the ramped-up sexual arousal demand more and more feeding . . . to the point where human sexual interaction isn't enough, or even desirable. No one starts out thinking they are going to give their lives over to constant sexual stimulation in the form of internet porn. There's a lot of porn widows -- women who got fed up with a husband who would stare for hours at strangers having sex on a video screen (or, worse, participating in sex chat rooms) and lose all interest in sex with a warm and willing human being.
A responsible parent wouldn't allow their 13 year old to guzzle as much beer as he wanted. Why is it that guzzling sex in the form of internet porn is ok? It's a form of child abuse, as far as I'm concerned, if you know your child is watching internet porn and you don't take steps to curb it.
........you summer this up perfectly. I totally agree with everything you said. This is a fallen world full of sinful people & everyone is in need of redemption from that sin. Just because you have lustful thoughts doesn't give someone free reign to follow through on those thoughts in ways that are often harmful to themselves & others. Just because we have the free will to make bad choices & think bad things doesn't mean we should make the choice or not try & keep your mind on positive things. I think it is a very cynical outlook to assume that folks are incapable of fighting evil with the armor of God. Does that mean you won't ever be tempted by porn, NO. However, there is freedom in a true pure relationship not bound by porn. Some do have a psychological propensity to crave the images like an alcoholic craves drinks. Alcoholics probably shouldn't go to bars, that's just stupid to put yourself in the midst of temptation. Porn addicts shouldn't be on unrestricted devices, and by letting kids have those devices accessible, it's saying you as a parent are OK with a potentially damaging end-result not knowing how your child will respond. These comments are in reference to the post you responded to, not your post. I agree with your post!
Also, that's why Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar from 19 Kids & Counting always have someone with their kids when they are on the computer and block inappropriate websites. Are their kids perfect, no. But they are setting a standard of purity and executing on enforcing that standard by not putting temptation in front of impressionable adolescents who cannot cognitively ascertain what's emotionally healthy being in their teens. If more people adopted this approach, I think people would see a lot less issues.
Ralph_Kirk, yeah, you are right, but we've never faced with it before, so we have never thought about keeping PC in a living area...And should we use this type of router, if we gonna use the software?
HockDad, thank you, yeah, it's not easy...and about this "I think that the telephones are bigger issues than the home computer", this kind of software is also available for smartphones.
bencronin04, thank you! We don't want to "monitor every single site", we just want to block inadmissible content..that's why the second software, we are asking about is Care4teen, because of their base of bad resources, that say people add some everyday there...We do have faith, but we also want to do smth.
CMC_TX Thank you very much, I definitely agree with you!
1. Where have you read studies that claim a slippery slope from say Playboy to unspeakable things? One of my best friends is a PhD. psychologist and he disagrees with that notion totally.
I could go on...your friend has colleagues who strongly disagree with his notion that it's all harmless.
The neural pathways for children and teens are still developing, and watching porn can alter them with lifelong consequences.
There are a lot of reports from teens on how porn and how it is everywhere and in your face and all over the place has affected them and their relationships. Teens who have no idea what real, normal, healthy sex is like because of what they see and watch, and having never seen nor experienced what sex is like.
What kids these days are facing is far, far different from peeking at a few nudie magazines or sneaking a watch of your friend's dad's porn video 20-30+ years ago.
To the OP, here are a couple of good articles about how you can speak to your son about what you found, and I think it's important that you do speak to him, calmly, without blame or shame.
OpenDNS ... It's free. Covers everything connected to the router (including phones, tablets and xbox). Has customizable black and white lists (so you can let through a site that you deem OK that openDNS has blocked. OpenDNS is community-based, so sites are being added all the time.)
Provides stats. Warns about malware. (But is not a substitute for good antivirus software)
But there is not a shield for everything.
You have to know that he'll see what he wants to see. Just try to give him the tools to handle it, and to know that it's not realistic.
+1 for OpenDNS
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