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Old 12-14-2007, 11:05 PM
Location: Oklahoma is where i want to be!
708 posts, read 468,592 times
Reputation: 243


kk let me start off with the story first...me and my family used to live in Greensburg Kansas and when the F5 tornado went through there i lost my parents. Im one of 5 i have a twin Braison and another little brother Anthony and 2 little sisters Deborah and Madeline. Deborah has been acting weird since our parents died. Before our parents she was such an outgoing little 7 year old she was always outside playing with her friends writting stories talking non stop but now shes always so quiet cries alot doesnt write anymore doesnt play anymore she mostly just sits around. My parents died May 4 the night of the tornado. We live with our grandma and grandpa. My grandma and grandpa always offer her things to do or things she wants and she never responds, its really worrying me!
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Old 12-15-2007, 03:50 AM
Location: NJ
9,173 posts, read 20,201,974 times
Reputation: 6230
I can't imagine what you guys are going through.. I'm very sorry. I lost my dad at 40, and although I was thankful I had him until I was an adult, it still hurts 2 years later; especially this time of the year.

My 14 year old not only lost my dad but my hubby's dad 6 weeks later, and a few months before that her dad's sister (who was 40), the sisters hubby, and a few other non family.. along with a 13 year old classmate.. there was about 10 in all.

It's very hard for some kids to deal with it. Is it possible for your grandparents to get all of you counseling? My daughter refuses to talk, maybe your sister will especially if the rest of you do?

Sending you and your family a cyber hug.
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:08 AM
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,030,974 times
Reputation: 6654
I am SO very sorry for your terrible loss.

I am a firm believer in counseling. I would do everything I could to get your sister to a counselor, in fact it might help everyone involved, including your grandparents. They lost a child in the tornado and could probably use some help with that as well as knowing how to help you guys.

I am glad you kids all have each other. Love each other, cherish each other and always look out for them.
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:53 AM
24 posts, read 82,343 times
Reputation: 24
Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry. Your little sister is lucky to have a big sister looking out for her. This is so devastating for your family. I hope you can get some counseling. Grieving is different for every individual. Having someone to talk to helps a lot. You and your family are in my prayers from now on. Be sure to get lots of hugs. God Bless You!
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Old 12-15-2007, 06:20 AM
Location: london UK
3 posts, read 6,516 times
Reputation: 10
Hi Cali
I can directly symp with you plight. I lost my husband my daugthers father 2 years ago. Added to that we had no connection with family as we were a mixed race couple!!. I can agree with all the above get counselling but..... it must be with a counsellor who specialises in childhood grief fm the loss of a parent. This i stress is NB. In the UK we have Daisys Dream who counsell and give advice as to how to handle each day, I hope you find someone similar there

take care
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Old 12-15-2007, 07:32 AM
Location: huh?
3,099 posts, read 1,912,862 times
Reputation: 498
oh my, such a terrible story. i am so sorry! it definitely sounds like she needs professional counseling. the wound of your parent's death is still so new and it generally takes a full two years to act anywhere near normal after a death.
get her some counseling to help her along.
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Old 12-15-2007, 07:44 AM
395 posts, read 1,792,329 times
Reputation: 248
Oh how very sad, I am so sorry. (((hugs)))

You definitely need to get your sister some counseling if you can afford it. If not, you or your grandparents can call the school counselor, and have a chat with him/her. They can give you more advice on how to handle the situation.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:44 AM
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,337,260 times
Reputation: 9263
I'd like to suggest that you begin by ALL going in for a counseling session and then go from there. My son's dad died 7 years ago when he was 7. It threw us for a loop and I took him to counseling. The second session the counselor asked to meet with me. He basically told me that I needed to deal with my grief (I thought I was- sort of) and then that my son would be fine. My son had several more sessions and then the counselor told me that he would continue seeing my son if he wanted to, but that he thought that he was doing well and didn't need to keep coming.

The reason I suggest all at once is because it would be a way to get the resistant ones to go....if it is done as a family. The ones who are resistant probably need help as much or more than your little sister.

Good luck to all of you- I can't imagine what you have been through and know it will be a tough road for a while.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:51 AM
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,119,300 times
Reputation: 851
I'm actually a therapist and I'm working right now with a 7 year old who lost both of his parents and is living with his grandmother (who is wonderful). Counseling has helped him a great deal. It is very normal for anyone to be depressed after this happens, no matter how great your grandparents are. I would suggest that you all go in for counseling and then therapist can determine if you should all work on this as a family or if you little sibling needs extra help alone. If this isn't an option, you can have your grandparents check to see if counseling is offered through the school.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss!
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Old 12-15-2007, 10:13 AM
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 7,834,257 times
Reputation: 2214
Are there any support groups for kids in your area who have lost their parents? A friend of mine died a few years ago and his kids went to one of these groups for about a year. It really helped.
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