The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (clever, raise)
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I have a question - you mention you can't help DD1 in part because you have to pay for DD2's college. But now you are no longer even planning to help DD1 with college when it is even more essential than before?
If you've followed the saga over the years you will notice that DD2 has always been the apple of Ivory's eye. DD2 is the Golden Child to DD1's Scape Goat.
We know enough to know your husband was able to retire and that the social security offered monthly $$ for your minor child of a retired person; and that you were ready to turn that money down because you didn't need it. We know DD1 had a bedroom in your house up until 1 month ago that is now sitting empty. We know that you somehow managed to keep your job for the next school year. It isn't that you CAN'T help, it's that you WON'T help.
As I said up thread, you like to say you "have no choice." BS. You have choices. You offered up only one solution and then passed her on to the taxpayers to deal with.
She could move into her old room.
She could move into an apartment that you generously help her find and put down a deposit on.
You could subsidize her living expenses until she's able to get on her feet.
You could keep her on your insurance so she gets the best prenatal care possible.
You could stock her refrigerator.
You could help her shop for furniture at garage sales.
You could help her budget to see if she even needs much help from you or the government.
But no. You sign her up for welfare as soon as the stick turns pink.
OP seems to be wanting to control her daughters life, without actually having to expend any effort to do so.
OP - WHY does your daughter think its ok to trash other peoples stuff, get pregnant without a means of support, and all the other things she does that you dont like?
She didn't just suddenly become irresponsible, she's been like that for...how long?
Her whole life?
I wonder who caused that....
You simply CANNOT enable her for years then whip the support away when an innocent baby is involved.
Or maybe you can.
Either way my daughter would not get pregnant nor would my son impregnate someone - they have been brainwashed since birth that Unplanned Pregnancy is a sin.
Apparently you forgot to mention that to your Princess, who views it (quoting) "As a way back in the home" - now WHY would she think this?
Because every other time you've bailed her out?
And now you're going to stop...try to force her to give away YOUR GRANDCHILD...as you do...
There is something majorly wrong with your morality.
Perhaps DD1 is in search of the elusive unconditional love she's been missing for the better part of her life.
Becoming a mother is not a good punishment for being a "spoilt, immature little madam". It's disgusting to know somebody even thinks like this.
To add to my quoted post.....
Nor is becoming a mother a CURE for a spoiled brat. Cinderslipper asked how many spoiled little madams do I know who morphed overnight into a good mother The answer is NONE. Which is my point exactly. Cinderslipper has said several times she would be delighted if her soiled bratty daughter came home pregnant like that is going to make things all better. From what I've seen bratty little madam women make the same kind of bratty little mothers and wives. Surely some grow up eventually but in the mean time the child is the one who has to suffer the consequences. I would think any mother of the child described by Cinderslipper would be mortified if her daughter came home pregnant not delighted.
If you've followed the saga over the years you will notice that DD2 has always been the apple of Ivory's eye. DD2 is the Golden Child to DD1's Scape Goat.
I participated in the last thread about DD1 refusing to work and only taking 7 hours of college classes. I read one other as I was posting on the that one - the one where Ivory was upset about DD1 moving out and was upset over DD2 potentially having consequences after being arrested for assaulting a police officer.
After that incident, I find it quite odd Ivory mentions car privileges for DD2 in this thread. That was all 7 months ago. And she has car privileges at all?
Wait. What? Goodness, a lot has happened to this family since last time I ventured into the parenting forums! DD2 assaulted a police officer? Somebody please guide me to the thread where this was revealed, so I can catch up.
I participated in the last thread about DD1 refusing to work and only taking 7 hours of college classes. I read one other as I was posting on the that one - the one where Ivory was upset about DD1 moving out and was upset over DD2 potentially having consequences after being arrested for assaulting a police officer.
After that incident, I find it quite odd Ivory mentions car privileges for DD2 in this thread. That was all 7 months ago. No way in hell should she have car privileges.
I've gone 'round with Ivory over the past two years about the way she treats DD1. I WAS DD1 for a long time and I can tell you much of my negative behavior was directly proportional to the negativity of my parents, especially my mother.
Wait. What? Goodness, a lot has happened to this family since last time I ventured into the parenting forums! DD2 assaulted a police officer? Somebody please guide me to the thread where this was revealed, so I can catch up.
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
To be honest I would have kept her home to avoid the pregnancy as I feared this would be her next step but now that she's pregnant she needs to grow up fast and that means being responsible for herself. It's not about her anymore.
No I wasn't comfortable with kicking her out with no arrangements for a place to stay. What parent would be? Obviously she figured it out well enough to get knocked up. When I've seen her she's been in clean clothes and had recently showered. That tells me she's not on the street in a box.
She got pregnant BEFORE she moved out. I thought that we already did the math on that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
It's just a baby not a frickn brain tumour.
There IS life after motherhood you know.
Yeah I'd be stoked, my daughter is a spoilt, immature little madam and being a mum would be the BEST THING to ever happen to her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
OP seems to be wanting to control her daughters life, without actually having to expend any effort to do so.
OP - WHY does your daughter think its ok to trash other peoples stuff, get pregnant without a means of support, and all the other things she does that you dont like?
She didn't just suddenly become irresponsible, she's been like that for...how long?
Her whole life?
I wonder who caused that....
You simply CANNOT enable her for years then whip the support away when an innocent baby is involved.
Or maybe you can.
Either way my daughter would not get pregnant nor would my son impregnate someone - they have been brainwashed since birth that Unplanned Pregnancy is a sin.
Apparently you forgot to mention that to your Princess, who views it (quoting) "As a way back in the home" - now WHY would she think this?
Because every other time you've bailed her out?
And now you're going to stop...try to force her to give away YOUR GRANDCHILD...as you do...
There is something majorly wrong with your morality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Education is miraculous.
Alongside the "its a sin" also came the "you will be poor forever" which is very persuasive.
Maybe I'm not getting the tone or sarcasm of your posts but I don't understand what you are saying in the slightest. You trained your kids not to get pregnant, but you'd be happy if they did, even under the circumstances of the OP's daughter. um, ok.
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent
I haven't read the parenting forum in a long time, but I'm familiar with the main characters and the general background of this...oh, I don't what to call it...misadventure, maybe? Can somebody summarize recent events for me? Specifically, how is it that DD1 left home? And why was she collecting baby clothes before this all came to pass? Sorry to impose, but the thread is long and all the twists and turns have me confused.
She dropped almost all of her classes at CC and refused to get a job. A lot of posters said to kick her out. I said to lay out some very specific conditions and give her the chance of one more semester. Ivory's husband kickerd her out and Ivory was supposedly powerless. In the same thread it came out that she had baby clothes in her dresser. This was no accident.
This is why I don't necessarily think the OP should take her back in (of course, I wouldn't have kicked her out to begin with). But the OP was WAY too quick to want to pawn her off on the tax payers IMO. The OP helped create this "monster" maybe she needs to deal with her.
She dropped almost all of her classes at CC and refused to get a job. A lot of posters said to kick her out. I said to lay out some very specific conditions and give her the chance of one more semester. Ivory's husband kickerd her out and Ivory was supposedly powerless. In the same thread it came out that she had baby clothes in her dresser. This was no accident.
This is why I don't necessarily think the OP should take her back in (of course, I wouldn't have kicked her out to begin with). But the OP was WAY too quick to want to pawn her off on the tax payers IMO. The OP helped create this "monster" maybe she needs to deal with her.
If all this is true, then I think she needs to take a long break from the forums and seek professional help for her family. The parenting forums is not the right place for her to get the support and guidance she clearly needs to get her family back on track.
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