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Old 07-14-2009, 09:13 AM
 
Location: here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big daryle View Post
Please dont, the world is grossly overpopulated already. If you want a third child, PLEASE adopt!
That was another one of my many justifications for stopping at 2. My husband and I replaced ourselves on the planet, but no more. I actually don't know anyone who has had fewer kids than they wanted because they are concerned about over population, though.
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Old 10-22-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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I have been curious as to the pros and cons of having a third baby as well. My husband and I have 2been little girls ages 3, and 2. However the 3girls year old will be 4 in january which is Just 3 months from now. I've had the baby fever for over a year now. Since my youngest isn't much of a baby anymore and id really love to have a son. Or try too lol. We both agree we want a third, just can't agree on the timing...now or later..which is why I need advice on what The best way To go is.
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Old 10-22-2011, 01:48 PM
 
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Sry my phone messed up alot while uploading that
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:19 PM
 
Location: here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmielcorte View Post
I have been curious as to the pros and cons of having a third baby as well. My husband and I have 2been little girls ages 3, and 2. However the 3girls year old will be 4 in january which is Just 3 months from now. I've had the baby fever for over a year now. Since my youngest isn't much of a baby anymore and id really love to have a son. Or try too lol. We both agree we want a third, just can't agree on the timing...now or later..which is why I need advice on what The best way To go is.
Really, only you can decide that. Personally, we'd have had a 3rd soon after the 2nd, but we stopped at 2. I know a couple people who had 2 close together, waited 6 or so years, then had a 3rd. That wouldn't be my choice. I don't want to go back to the baby stage now.

Do you work? Do you plan to go back? Having 3 close together means big day care costs. Spreading them out means longer before you might start working again.

I don't know what your anxiety level is, but, I don't think I could handle trying to juggle the activities of 3 kids. This fall, just with 2, most Saturdays DH and I were split, each taking one to a game, and missing the other's game because they overlapped. I know people do it, I just don't know how!
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Old 10-24-2011, 08:41 AM
 
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I have four, and the joy of having that third and fourth greatly outweigh the disappointment in having to miss a game. It really becomes a non issue.

I've never heard someone regret having one more, but have heard plenty regret not going for it. A third (and fourth) was MUCH easier to add than the second one was.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:35 AM
 
Location: here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cc0789 View Post
I have four, and the joy of having that third and fourth greatly outweigh the disappointment in having to miss a game. It really becomes a non issue.

I've never heard someone regret having one more, but have heard plenty regret not going for it. A third (and fourth) was MUCH easier to add than the second one was.
That is not at all what I meant, if you were responding to my post about the anxiety of planning kids' activities.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv80s View Post
My husband and I have two beautiful children. Our son is 2.5 and daughter is 3 months old. We always said we would stop at two because that seemed like plenty and we love our little close knit family. Well the other day we were talking about if we should try for a third after our daughter is a year old. Thats all it was, just talk, and more than likely we wont but still we aren't shutting out the idea. The thing that concerns me is that would be too overwhelming with 3 little ones running around, someone feeling neglected, etc. As it is, sometimes it feels like I barely have time for myself. But the idea of having another little boy or girl would be so nice.

Anyhoo, I'd like to hear from other parents who have 3 or more kids and whats it like raising a big family? How do you find time for yourself? Can it be chaotic, finances, sibling rivalry, relationship with your spouse, etc. I'm not asking for the people of the internet to help me make a decision about having kids, just want to hear your perspective on raising a big family.

Thanks!!
We had three girls and sure they are a hanful. The important factor is if you have the patience and desire to take care of three children. Some people are not cut out to be parents, others are but with a limit.

In our case we actually timed our kids. We had them five years appart so we did not handle the same type of problem threefold at the same time.

It worked for us. However, I think there are advantages and flaws by doing what we did.

Advantage? Easier to handle kids with difference age span.

Disadvantage? Kids seem not to be as close with each other as children that are closer in age. They actually argue more with each other for the same things but that apparently helps them bond together and be more close with each other when they are older. Ours love each other but they do not seem to have the close bond as I see in other grown up. Not that I am saying it is bad, just different type of relationship between them. Take care.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,223 posts, read 49,768,169 times
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Me and my younger brother (2 years apart) were best friends growing up.

I don't know what the third kid would have added to that dynamic. If he/she was close enough in age, another playmate. If he/she was too far away in age, a PITA.

I had friends who had to help raise their siblings who were much younger. Sounds like a pain. I got to teach and influence my brother but it felt more like close peers rather than parent-child relationship other friends describe.

If you have three kids, op, keep 'em close in age.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
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Having raised four children - the level of attention did not differ from one too the other. BUT back in my parents time - (five kids) as they aged less and less attention and energy was given to the youngest...and the chances of an older parent dieing increase...leaving the youngest with out full and balanced guidance.

Forget about the economic reasoning behind not having another child..cos there is none - people have been having children for thousands of years with out putting economics into the mix..what you toss into the garbage is enough food to feed at least two more. In the end - when they are grown - you will be happy for them all - the more that marrier - Yesterday my sister dropped by and the family recorded some music- it was wonderful - My youngest son and his sister - sang along with myself and my sister - it was heavenly.
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Bucks, UK
523 posts, read 3,280,457 times
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dont forget, you may get more than you bargain for!

we had 2 kids (girls - 2 and 3 years old), and partly through a general lack of family planning and partly through a "what will be, will be" attitude, my wife got pregnant again - the first, very early scan showed 3 gestational sacs - and i was terrified!

by the time of the next scan, we were down to two, and thats the way it stayed - and 5 months ago my wife gave birth to healthy twin boys.

so we have 4 kids, 2 girls (the oldest of whom has just turned 4), and 2 boys. there is a nice symmetry to it, and its actually not as hellish as you might expect, having 4 of 4 and under. the girls are close enough in age that everyone asks if they are twins too.

i guess that it partly depends on how involved your husband is - i think my wife would have lost her mind some time ago if i wasnt very actively involved in looking after the kids - there's no place in a family that size for a guy who is "daiper shy" or who wouldnt be seen dead at a 3 year old girl's princess party!

you have to be organised, its a lot of work, and you have to make more sacrifices, and to the person who suggested finances arent important, i have to say, im hugely motivated at work, knowing that in the fullness of time, i may have to pay for 4 sets of college fees at the same time!!

of course, its all worth it, and its impossible to explain how wonderful it is to be surrounded by your own self-made family, but do be aware that twins are a possibility you probably ought to consider!
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