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Old 12-17-2007, 02:06 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,682,664 times
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My husband and I have two beautiful children. Our son is 2.5 and daughter is 3 months old. We always said we would stop at two because that seemed like plenty and we love our little close knit family. Well the other day we were talking about if we should try for a third after our daughter is a year old. Thats all it was, just talk, and more than likely we wont but still we aren't shutting out the idea. The thing that concerns me is that would be too overwhelming with 3 little ones running around, someone feeling neglected, etc. As it is, sometimes it feels like I barely have time for myself. But the idea of having another little boy or girl would be so nice.

Anyhoo, I'd like to hear from other parents who have 3 or more kids and whats it like raising a big family? How do you find time for yourself? Can it be chaotic, finances, sibling rivalry, relationship with your spouse, etc. I'm not asking for the people of the internet to help me make a decision about having kids, just want to hear your perspective on raising a big family.

Thanks!!
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Old 12-17-2007, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,121,876 times
Reputation: 851
Have you discussed these concerns with your husband?
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Old 12-17-2007, 09:14 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,682,664 times
Reputation: 199
Yes, we've discussed it the pros and cons of having a third kid. Not that having a third child is a con, but you get what I'm saying. We're giving it time though and will see how we feel a year from now. Our family of four feels like such a happy bunch but there is still some feeling like we're not quite finished.

Maybe I should just get a cat instead, hehehe.
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Old 12-17-2007, 10:15 PM
 
Location: coos bay oregon
2,096 posts, read 8,060,196 times
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We had one girl, one boy, and also thought we were done. Three seemed....odd. out of place, one too many. so many things come in even sets, besides, if we had another, one kid would be outnumbered....but i never was completely ready to make a permenate decision. Then, we decided to go ahead and let it happen. Didnt make any serious effort per say to get pregnant, just didnt make any regular/major precautions to insure it didnt happen. Anyhow, when our youngest was 3, guess what? We now have 3 kids, they are all 4yrs apart, our youngest ended up being a girl, and we fondly refer to her as our "bonus baby" Honestly, I dont think life could ever have been so wonderful w/o her in it. She is 6 now, and just such an absolute joy. has been since day 1. We dont have a whole lot of sibling rivalry, my girls are 8yrs apart, so theres not a whole lot to fight over. lol And you know, 3 isnt any more 'work" than 2. We make sure to take time out to ask each kid specific questions about their day, and really do active listening. THey are all in differnt activities, and we all go and cheer each other on in whatever it may be. They take turns in going to the grocery store w/me, its 1 on 1 time, and other errands w/my husband. THey go to grandparents as a group, and also for a weekend here and there solo. anyhow, we are so very very glad we ended up having a 3rd. Its worked very well for our family.
best of luck to you in figuring it all out...
Tiffany
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Old 12-18-2007, 09:36 AM
 
Location: South Dakota
733 posts, read 4,082,079 times
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You first child is a gift from God. Your second child is a joy. Your third child will bring a strong man to his knees.

That said, we've got three, it all works out, and it's been a lots of fun, frustration, and a great reward. You never know how things will go - that's the secret of life - it's unpredictable!
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Old 12-18-2007, 11:18 AM
 
582 posts, read 1,816,913 times
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My sister-in-law just had her fourth. This one was an unexpected surprise, but they are thrilled. Before this one she had 3 kids very quickly, her oldest had just turned 3 when they had the 3rd. She just makes sure to give each of them a little one on one time, even if the others are in the room. She lets the older ones help with the baby, and they love it. I think as long as you don't feel like you are stretching yourself too thin then it can work fine. Just have to have positive thoughts.
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Old 12-18-2007, 11:45 AM
 
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I'm pregnant with our second, but we're already contemplating a 3rd. Let me know when you figure out how to make that decision
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Old 12-18-2007, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,238,449 times
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I have 3 kids and love it most of the time! My boys were 7 and 4 when I had my daughter.We were not specifically trying for a girl,but I somehow just did not feel complete.The key for me is being able to stay home.I could not handle it if I had to go out to a job as well.There is just too much to do!It is true that if your other two are abit older,it's much easier and they are a big help.
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Old 12-18-2007, 12:31 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,451,677 times
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We have a 10, 11 and soon to be three yr old boys. While I love my youngest and wouldn't trade him for the world, it sure would have been a whole lot easier if I had had him closer to the older boys. There is such a huge gap between them. The older ones don't want to play with him and are constantly shutting him out. Plus after seven years you forget how hard the toddler years are. Things are just finally getting easier now that you can talk to the youngest and almost reason with him.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.
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Old 12-18-2007, 05:26 PM
 
49 posts, read 153,288 times
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We have 2 boys age 4 and 2. When I was pregnant with our 2nd we both said it was our last and I really meant it until he turned 1. Since then I have started to really really want another one. I don't even care that much if it's a girl, I just want to hold that itty bitty baby close, nurse them through the night and show them the way of the world. However, my husband is totally done. I mean totally done - no talking him into it. We have had huge fights about it and it's becoming a major issue (in my mind). He can't understand why I am not happy with the family we already have and I can't understand why he wouldn't want to add more joy.
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