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We're talking about child support, not alimony, though.
The OP never mentioned child support...
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Originally Posted by FreshFresh
or when they divorce and take half of a man's earnings? (Now, when it comes to taking half a man's earnings, I don't mind it if she helped built the money. But there are instances where divorce settlements are egregious).
Anyway, do they discuss this with their friends or do they decide this on their own? Do they have plans to do these things the first moment they meet a guy?
I wouldn't know, since I'm married and raising my children alongside their father. This forum is where I come to give and receive PARENTING advice, not argue over adult relationship issues.
My salary + child support = xH's salary - child support
Which gives us about the same money to support the kids when they are at each home - and it means I get to maintain a standard of living similar to what the kids had when their parents were married. That's really the point of the CS, to reduce the impact on the kids.
I put about 18% of the CS in the kids' college funds. 50% goes to day care. The other 32% is in the general household fund. That's the money that goes to extracurriculars, school supplies, clothes, food, mortgage and utilities, family vacations, etc.
Is every dime spent exclusively on items the children will use that no other family member will touch? No. But without them, I wouldn't have a big house in the suburbs and an SUV because I wouldn't need all that.
I cant really imagine a situation where the cost of child support is ever equal to or greater than the actual expenses. The woman is always on the short side of the equation when you look at all of the expenses. Besides the out of pocket roof, food, medical, clothing, child care stuff, she has to change every aspect of her life to accommodate the kids. Unlike the husband who just writes a check and that's the end of it. he can go out when he pleases, travel, party or whatever. So there is no inappropriate use of the money, ever. She may use your check for a new dress today, but her paycheck goes to food the next, its all the same money.
Uhmm far more males pay childsupport period. We have a government agancy who has made its survival on the backs of males. No offense but in this system only 15 percent were women, which is about right for the national average of you ladies winning custody. Out of that 15%, how many ladies don't pay support or are behind? You will find the compliance of paying to be in the favor of fathers percentage wise and there are higher stats on women being deadbeats in paying support. Just wantted to clear the air.
Because more women have custodial custody. More women have custodial custody because most women have been primary care takers of the children and most men don't want all the responsibility. No offense.
I agree a lot of women don't pay their CS. The reason is because the men don't pursue it. Less men would be paying their CS if women didn't drag their behinds into court every time they missed a payment. The courts and family services don't actively go after non compliance unless they are contacted by the custodial parent.
or when they divorce and take half of a man's earnings? (Now, when it comes to
taking half a man's earnings, I don't mind it if she helped built the money.
But there are instances where divorce settlements are egregious).
Yes, among the wealthy and celebs. The average middle income divorce does not include alimony and the majority of women also have earnings.
Quote:
Anyway, do they discuss this with their friends or do they decide this on their
own? Do they have plans to do these things the first moment they meet a guy?
Well of course. As soon as I would meet a guy I would get together with my friends and we would plot my sitting on the couch eating bon bons while he would work 40hrs a week to bring in the 30K, then plot my two pregnancies with all their health risks and body alterations so I could take care of some crying, snot filled, life sucking roly-poly chit machines just so I could divorce him and raise them all by myself. But heck Id have that big ol' 8 thousand per year in alimony and CS to live on. I mean who wouldn't dream of that life.
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I wanted to point out that a lot of women give up their careers to stay home with the kids (the kids their husbands helped create). Their earning potential goes way down after a few years of that.
There was a time I made a little more than my husband. At that time I couldn't imagine asking for much from him should we split up. Years later, I have now taken time off to stay home with the kids while he has furthered his career. He makes almost twice as much as I do now. If we were to split up, and I was to get custody of the kids, it wouldn't be at all fair to try to support the 3 of us on 1/3 of our former income, while hubs keeps all his money.
I'm still wondering what the OP considers "wrongfully."
As soon as I would meet a guy I would get together with my friends and we would plot my sitting on the couch eating bon bons while he would work 40hrs a week to bring in the 30K, then plot my two pregnancies with all their health risks and body alterations so I could take care of some crying, snot filled, life sucking roly-poly chit machines just so I could divorce him and raise them all by myself. But heck Id have that big ol' 8 thousand per year in alimony and CS to live on. I mean who wouldn't dream of that life.
Yep.
In my state alimony only happens in rare cases, by the way. You have to be really, really old and sacrifice an entire career. Nobody will award you money for taking a marriage-length vacation.
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