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Old 07-26-2014, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,118,386 times
Reputation: 35541

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DocTrojan View Post
both really, in my mind, they are intertwined, their bad behavior causes disrespect
I'd agree but I wasn't sure based on some of your posts - as in shrugging off the detentions ("so easy to get nowadays") for "just" eye rolling teachers. Which is showing the teachers disrespect. You don't seem to have an issue with that. Or the drinking - as long as they ask first. How are they getting home from these parties at 3 am? And is there no curfew where you live?

Best of luck.

 
Old 07-26-2014, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
58 posts, read 47,716 times
Reputation: 30
you know what they need? they need to start doing chores. Lots of them. We tried getting them to do chores before and all we heard was " it's hot out. This is pointless." " we aren't your slaves/hired help"
 
Old 07-26-2014, 12:11 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,000,336 times
Reputation: 30256
What you're doing wrong is letting your wife undermine you.
 
Old 07-26-2014, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,070 posts, read 37,716,477 times
Reputation: 73719
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocTrojan View Post
you know what they need? they need to start doing chores. Lots of them. We tried getting them to do chores before and all we heard was " it's hot out. This is pointless." " we aren't your slaves/hired help"
Chores??

With all due respect, doc, what they need are parents who understand the seriousness of their kids' misbehavior and who follow through on appropriate discipline.

That's it.
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:16 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,798,895 times
Reputation: 33944
I'm beginning to understand why your daughters don't respect you. Are there no real consequences for their actions? In my house, it wouldn't have been "no more parties" if my kids broke curfew by 2.5 hours. It would have been more along the lines of "no more anything", for quite a while. What kind of parents don't start tracking down their kids when they are that late coming home? I'd have been a wreck imagining the worst.

They should have had chores all along. You need some backbone Dad. This isn't all caused by Mom.
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
58 posts, read 47,716 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I'd agree but I wasn't sure based on some of your posts - as in shrugging off the detentions ("so easy to get nowadays") for "just" eye rolling teachers. Which is showing the teachers disrespect. You don't seem to have an issue with that. Or the drinking - as long as they ask first. How are they getting home from these parties at 3 am? And is there no curfew where you live?

Best of luck.
they're driving home, I honestly don't know if there is a curfew or not. I'm sure there is, but I don't know time
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,118,386 times
Reputation: 35541
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocTrojan View Post
they're driving home, I honestly don't know if there is a curfew or not. I'm sure there is, but I don't know time
So you have teens (and not recently either), they drink, they go to parties, they arrive home at 3 a.m. and your biggest concern is their lack of respect toward you??

And you have no idea what the law is in your community?

You and your wife BOTH dropped the ball somewhere. Find it and pick it up.
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
58 posts, read 47,716 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
So you have teens (and not recently either), they drink, they go to parties, they arrive home at 3 a.m. and your biggest concern is their lack of respect toward you??

And you have no idea what the law is in your community?
I have no idea, as awful as it sounds.
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,118,386 times
Reputation: 35541
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocTrojan View Post
I have no idea, as awful as it sounds.
Then quit blaming your wife for undermining your parenting. 'Cause it sounds like you aren't doing much of it yourself. Demanding respect and meting out punishments is not the same as parenting*

*Regardless of what some "child-free" posters like to expound on.-
 
Old 07-26-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
58 posts, read 47,716 times
Reputation: 30
maciesmom, You seem knowledgeable, I'm dead serious about going ExtremeQ's way, think that'll help steer behavior? by stripping them of all enjoyment? book reports sound like a nice idea, maybe that'll help prepare them for English class.
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