U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-27-2014, 10:23 PM
 
Location: NC
502 posts, read 651,293 times
Reputation: 1114

Advertisements

One problem I see in some of the approaches mentioned here. Your goal should not be "how I can entertain them". Taking them to the beach, playing all the sports, pool day, arts and crafts day, etc. These are all GREAT family activities. FAMILY activities. They require your commitment and attention to pull them off.

Your goal should be: "How do I get my kids to entertain THEMSELVES". This is really a great gift we can teach our children. Believe me, if a 5 or 7 year old who can't function without electronics is bad...wait until they are 13 or 16 and the only thing they know how to do is watch tv and play on the computer.

From the time our children are babies, they need time alone to entertain themselves. OP - your kids are still very young and you still have time to re-train them. Don't worry about what they do at their mom's house. Eventually, they will discover that "play" is more fun than tv. Plus, if you just ignore their whining and keep the tv OFF - they will eventually give up.

Remember, you are doing your children a favor and teaching them a valuable lesson by teaching them how to manage their own time and entertain themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-28-2014, 12:44 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,645,779 times
Reputation: 6732
We allow 30mins a day. Whether thats TV, Computer or Tablet is up to them but 30mis only.

I dont buy OP your excuse of your EX. My son goes to his dads and of course we have different rules. He knows way more about Mario than any 9yr old ever should but he also knows at MY house it doesnt fly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2014, 10:52 AM
 
4,743 posts, read 3,578,789 times
Reputation: 2474
I use a timer, i..e you can watch for so long and then tv time is over.

but my kids are open to other activities too: science museum, biking, children museum, zoo, swimming, splash park


my oldest seems to hate the outside (too hot, etc) but if you offer a bike ride, it usually is okay


though ipad, xbox 360, and a steam enabled computer is a better toy than 90% of what they have in the house. So as long as we get some exercise, i'm normally okay with them playing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2014, 11:10 AM
 
Location: The analog world
15,688 posts, read 8,775,979 times
Reputation: 21057
I'm going to forward a line of thinking I've mentioned in another thread about drinking. If this is truly a problem, remove everyone's --yes, everyone's -- access. If you don't want a kid using an iPod Touch every damn minute of the day, put down your smartphone. If you don't want them watching TV for hours at a time, don't let them see you binge-watching either.

It may seem extreme, but one of the best things we ever did was to pack up the TV and move it out when our kids were young. Before everybody gets their knickers in a twist, I'm not proposing that everyone chuck their electronics to the curb, but if you really want to fight the e-addiction, drastic measures may be necessary. So, you have to decide how big a problem this is for you. Is it big enough to remove the TV entirely? And are you brave enough to do it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2014, 03:16 PM
 
4,743 posts, read 3,578,789 times
Reputation: 2474
and on the same threshold. . .if you want to play video games for a couple hours/watch tv. . .let your kids do it to.

I mean seriously. . .I'm not giving up the iphone, pad, xbox 360, ps3, or even my steam computer

no reason to expect my kid to



Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
I'm going to forward a line of thinking I've mentioned in another thread about drinking. If this is truly a problem, remove everyone's --yes, everyone's -- access. If you don't want a kid using an iPod Touch every damn minute of the day, put down your smartphone. If you don't want them watching TV for hours at a time, don't let them see you binge-watching either.

It may seem extreme, but one of the best things we ever did was to pack up the TV and move it out when our kids were young. Before everybody gets their knickers in a twist, I'm not proposing that everyone chuck their electronics to the curb, but if you really want to fight the e-addiction, drastic measures may be necessary. So, you have to decide how big a problem this is for you. Is it big enough to remove the TV entirely? And are you brave enough to do it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-30-2014, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,029 posts, read 1,156,849 times
Reputation: 1982
I have 3 kids in the same age ranges as yours, and they all have other parents who permit a great deal more of television and/or phone use (a 6-year-old with an iPhone4 is RIDICULOUS) than we do. My stepdaughter actually has the same schedule as yours - she's here Thur - Sat or Sun.

Unfortunately our tv "broke" last year. It took me 2 whole weeks to get it fixed (I turned the breaker back on). In that 2 weeks, it wasn't MY fault that the tv was off, and after a few days they stopped asking and complaining. They learned how to entertain themselves without it, sort of. During the school year, we do not watch television during the school week, with the exception of Family Game Night on Thursdays. On Sunday evenings, we all watch HGTV together for an hour. Other than that, they don't see us watch tv much, except for the World Cup and college football; all of our other tv watching takes place after they are in bed.

I have occasionally heard the complaints that "at my OTHER house, we get to do x, y, and z". My response is always a really cheerful, "That's great that you get to do that over there. At THIS house, the rules are different, so we're going to have fun a different way." We had to be VERY clear with my stepdaughter on the rules at our house, because she thought she could watch tv and play on her phone or the computer all day every day. I have confiscated the phone before, I have taken away the laptops, we have unplugged and hidden the wii, etc. We have rules, and we enforce them. Period.

At least 5 evenings a week, we go on a family excursion after dinner - I walk and they ride bikes about 2 miles around the neighborhood. The kids love it.

We did our first "reading night" this week. Just like movie night, we had popcorn and smores and blankets and bean bag chairs on the floor. But instead of the tv, everyone (even me) had to read for an hour. They are already clamoring to do it again. [The side note to this is that we also go to the library at least every other week.]

To my surprise, my oldest loves crafting. I bought her a bunch of supplies, and she is allowed to watch YouTube videos for a certain amount of time in the evenings so that she can learn how to make different jewelry or doll furniture, etc. She can stay busy for a long time this way.

We have occasional binge days, where, for example, the tv can be on all day or they can play Wii or video games all day. This usually coincides with rain or a parent who doesn't feel well. That sometimes gets it out of their system.

The single biggest thing that distracts them is friends. When there are other kids over, their imaginations seem to run wild and they don't want the tv anymore. We tend to have a lot of kids at our house on the weekends
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-30-2014, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,029 posts, read 1,156,849 times
Reputation: 1982
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojow View Post
Your kids will get used to not watching tv. And, being bored won't kill them. If they can't find something to do, they can sit and stare at the walls. Or, you can give them chores. I bet they get busy playing quickly then:-)
Exactly. If a child dares to tell me they are bored, they are invited to clean the bathroom or dust. The second time I hear it, the invitation is now mandatory chore time. They usually find something to do, or go complain somewhere else where I can't hear them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-30-2014, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,435 posts, read 41,675,230 times
Reputation: 47010
Expect some withdrawal symptoms if your kids are used to too many hours in front of a screen. My girls have been snarky, moody and irritable so we decided to use some screen time to look up addiction and withdrawal. It was very informative for them when we dicussed all the things people can get addicted to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-30-2014, 11:03 AM
 
4,743 posts, read 3,578,789 times
Reputation: 2474
I personally have no issues with video games, ipad, or television. . .the moderation comes from fitness. I.e games are sedentary activities so they must be balanced with non-sedentary activities.

On weekends we normally play some games in the AM (or computer, etc) before heading out to the Zoo, Science Museum, Children Museum, etc

my kids are in daycare all day,and its a 90% of the time media free (once a month they may watch a movie). Lots of playground there. Sometimes in evening we may, weather permitting, hit a playground/splashpark/indoor swimming pool


In general I think parents fear video games/etc versus sitting on your but and playing with legos. My wife does this too. . .though from what I read its just another toy, as far as development goes, no worse/better than others. (not counting reading).

So i don't really care if the kid wants to play Lego or Lego Batman on the computer. . .just as long as he is getting his physical activity for the day.

Lego Batman (number 3 coming out) is two players, as is his other favorites (lego Marvel, Trine 2, lego movie) ..which adds the benefit of us playing together.

Give me that ahead of a stupid toddler board game any day of the week
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top