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Old 07-31-2014, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,563,902 times
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Kids or not, working 100 hours per week isn't sustainable for anyone. Great way to head towards an early grave from being over stressed and over worked.

 
Old 07-31-2014, 07:57 AM
 
Location: NC
4,529 posts, read 7,034,062 times
Reputation: 4720
Not sure if anyone has posted or said this, I haven't read all page here. But you sound the guy in the song, the Cat's in the Cradle" by harry chapin. HARRY CHAPIN LYRICS - Cat's In The Cradle

I feel for you in terms of the pull of your career. But, you chose to have kids, these are their formative years. They need you more. But, when you get older, you will need them more. You will live with regrets that you don't have a relationship with them. Soon, they will get used to it and not look at her you as their dad. But rather the man who is their father in name only.

If you don't want your kids getting into trouble, doing drugs, or astay when they are teens, you will make the right decision for them now. Note: look up stats about kids raised by a single parent and how they are much more likely to be abused by strangers or extended family members. Your job is to be there for your kids. You are on the cusp of losing them emotionally right now and are doing them harm. Please consider this and back off on the work hours. One day you won't have work in your life, and may not have your kids. I wish you well.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 01:42 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
As a wife whose husband used to work 80+ hours a week, I can attest to the fact that it sucks to know you will ALWAYS come second and to feel that you have to be understanding because, well, it's work.

At BEST you are taking your children for granted.
I have to change that, thanks.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 01:48 PM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,782,209 times
Reputation: 33910
Prinz, I have to say, you certainly sound as though you want to do the best for your kids. It's refreshing to read. Kudos, you'll get there.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 01:51 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Prinz, I have to say, you certainly sound as though you want to do the best for your kids. It's refreshing to read. Kudos, you'll get there.
Thanks but the praise should go for their mother. She takes care of the 2 of them full time, it must be very hard on her. I just don't want them to suffer, having separated parents is difficult enough.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,633,030 times
Reputation: 6732
I can tell you if she ever took you to court for anything, youd be so screwed it wouldnt be funny. No judge is going to care that you cant visit your kids because you work.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 01:59 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
Kids or not, working 100 hours per week isn't sustainable for anyone. Great way to head towards an early grave from being over stressed and over worked.
I hope to change to a more flexible position in the future.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 02:19 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theottawadude View Post
As a kid my father wasn't around much, but he was still around much more than you are, and I held considerable resentment to how little he appeared to care. He was working too and all he cared about was money and getting ahead. We no longer talk. He's still the same person, only cares about himself. When he's around me he hugs me and talks lovingly to me but it feels fake and forced. Sorry, but, you had children... your relationship with your wife, whatever it may be, is not an excuse to be around "when you can". It's up to you to adjust your career expectations so that you can be a father that is present in their lives, otherwise you'll always just be "there from time to time". My 2 cents.
I don't think I only care about myself...even though I know I haven't conducted things in the best way possible. I work this much so I can give them the best of the best. I pay more child support than I'm required to by court (not that I'm complaing about it, I thought the CS defined by law wasn't enough).
 
Old 07-31-2014, 02:32 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
I can tell you if she ever took you to court for anything, youd be so screwed it wouldnt be funny. No judge is going to care that you cant visit your kids because you work.
Why would she do that? We've already been to court.
 
Old 07-31-2014, 03:26 PM
 
46 posts, read 38,544 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedwightguy View Post
All things considered you've got a good pattern here. The two have solid contact with the grandparents and with you except for those Thursdays. You can never make up missed time at that age. That age is critical and makes your base with them. After they commence daycare or kindergarden their social world opens up a little, gets busier, and their young minds realize that adults do have responsibilities. But at four and two those are the formative windows. Every minute you can spend at that age imprints large in their minds.
They are already in daycare since their mother also works. The oldest knows I have to work but he always wants me to assure him it won't be too long before he sees me again.
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