U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 08-03-2014, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Bangor,Maine
35 posts, read 34,932 times
Reputation: 20

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
That's what intelligent adults are supposed to do with new information. The conclusions he draws are the result of his personality, not society. By blaming outside influences, you are not requiring him to be responsible for his own behavior and manners.
and what am I supposed to do about it then?

 
Old 08-03-2014, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,139 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35528
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
I think he reacts to what he's exposed by analyzing it and drawing his own conclusions.
And how did you mom, limit his exposure to poor influences and ensure he was more exposed to positive ones? What example did you set or discussions did you have with him about compassion?
 
Old 08-03-2014, 05:48 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,718,901 times
Reputation: 38829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
This got worse after he took AP Biology and started applying the ideas to human life.
AP biology has nothing to do with his bad behavior.
Parenting is more to blame than a high school class.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 05:57 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,978,939 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
and what am I supposed to do about it then?
Hold him be accountable for his poor behavior and manners. His beliefs aren't the problem. How he treats others is the problem. You need to stop focusing on outside influences and the opinions he formed, and start focusing on his behavior and manners. If he says rude things about his aunt and grandparents, punish him for being rude and lacking manners. Don't get dragged into debates about his opinions. Focus on his behavior.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Bangor,Maine
35 posts, read 34,932 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
And how did you mom, limit his exposure to poor influences and ensure he was more exposed to positive ones? What example did you set or discussions did you have with him about compassion?
I tried blocking news channels but he just went on the internet. When I started to regulate his internet he just looks it up during school. We as a family volunteer regularly but he scoffs at it as patronizing and condescending. He has no respect for what i have to say because he views me as less intelligent and therefore not worth listening to. When he does respect someone's intelligence he will listen for example he has very deep respect for my brother who is one of the wealthiest men in the county and constantly tries to learn from him.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Bangor,Maine
35 posts, read 34,932 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Hold him be accountable for his poor behavior and manners. His beliefs aren't the problem. How he treats others is the problem. You need to stop focusing on outside influences and the opinions he formed, and start focusing on his behavior and manners. If he says rude things about his aunt and grandparents, punish him for being rude and lacking manners. Don't get dragged into debates about his opinions. Focus on his behavior.
He's not afraid of me. If I take away the TV he will still find a way to watch it. He's too independent and intelligent for me to control. I also don't think he deserves to be kicked out of the house. He gets good grades and has a bright future.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 06:05 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,561 posts, read 42,724,437 times
Reputation: 57214
I think at his age, all you can do as a mom is expect respectful behavior and language in your presence. Your son will be subject to the consequences of his attitude as he starts voicing it among his friends. If he encounters rejection because of his behavior, he may learn to temper his attitude.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Bangor,Maine
35 posts, read 34,932 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I think at his age, all you can do as a mom is expect respectful behavior and language in your presence. Your son will be subject to the consequences of his attitude as he starts voicing it among his friends. If he encounters rejection because of his behavior, he may learn to temper his attitude.
The way he and his peers treat each other is ridiculous they constantly make fun of each other. My son can behave when he wants something out of someone, for example with girls. He is also fairly popular so I don't think that's an issue.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,139 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35528
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
He's not afraid of me. If I take away the TV he will still find a way to watch it. He's too independent and intelligent for me to control. I also don't think he deserves to be kicked out of the house. He gets good grades and has a bright future.

So you've given him a pass on his poor attitude and behavior because "he's smart and has a bright future" . Oh good just what we need; more people who feel they are above the behavior expectations of society because they are just so intelligent.
 
Old 08-03-2014, 06:08 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,978,939 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
I tried blocking news channels but he just went on the internet. When I started to regulate his internet he just looks it up during school.
Censorship doesn't solve anything. It merely delayed his access to information. It would have been better if you had allowed him to have access to outside ideas and information so you could help guide his interpretation. You essentially created a situation where he became bound and determine to be the opposite of you. He is rebelling because you were tried to oppress his ability to think as an individual.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina545 View Post
We as a family volunteer regularly but he scoffs at it as patronizing and condescending. He has no respect for what i have to say because he views me as less intelligent and therefore not worth listening to. When he does respect someone's intelligence he will listen for example he has very deep respect for my brother who is one of the wealthiest men in the county and constantly tries to learn from him.
Ask your brother to take him under his wing and mentor your son, specifically in the area of social behavior, manners, empathy and ethics.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top