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View Poll Results: How would you respond if your kid asked you to buy them some condoms?
Guy - If it was a son, id buy them for him 6 5.66%
Guy - If it was a daughter, id buy them for her 1 0.94%
Guy - i wouldnt buy it for either 7 6.60%
Guy - wouldnt buy it, and ground them from seeing their bf/gf 2 1.89%
Guy - id make them buy their own 6 5.66%
guy - other 7 6.60%
Gal - If it was a son, id buy them for him 12 11.32%
Gal - If it was a daughter, id buy them for her 13 12.26%
Gal - i wouldnt buy it for either 12 11.32%
Gal - wouldnt buy it, and ground them from seeing their bf/gf 2 1.89%
Gal - id make them buy their own 19 17.92%
gal - other 19 17.92%
Voters: 106. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-24-2007, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Arizona
667 posts, read 2,098,268 times
Reputation: 533

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tek_Freek View Post
I would not let them be out & alone for long periods of time.

They're 16. It doesn't take that long at that age...

My older sis & her bf would have their alone time in the driveway or at the house with the bedroom door open.

Our favorite spot was mom's driveway B4 we got a place of our own.
Well, they were under supervision of myself (the annoying little sister). I got to check on them every 10 min. or so. Plus you could see them from 4 different windows.

I believe than my parents' system for keeping them from doing things that they should not be doing was good & safe.
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Old 12-24-2007, 03:51 PM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,886,268 times
Reputation: 4890
I don't understand all the "Christian" comments? Is this presuming that other religions don't care about their children and don't have good family values? It's about good parenting. I don't know what I personally would do until it actually happens. I would rather he be protected which is something we have discussed for years.
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Old 12-24-2007, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,535 posts, read 35,657,884 times
Reputation: 13133
It's going to happen no matter what kind of values you have. I've never been placed in the position of having to do anything with regard to protection, but if asked I would probably give my child the money to go out and buy the condoms themselves. Trust me, if the parents are extremely strict and impose religious values and restrictions on their children, those children are gonna rebel - BIG TIME. I came from a home where my mom practically beat us up with her Bible. While we have Christian values of our own, my brothers and I got into different forms of mischief that perhaps we would not have gotten into had it not been so strict and religious in our house.

I'm adding this as a post script. My mom strictly forbade me to date. She talked to me about sex as if it were one of the filthiest things a person could engage in. She made it feel like it was a dirty, shameful thing and something that if done outside of marriage, I was gonna burn in hell for. Putting me on birth control or any of that stuff was simply out of the question. So, guess who got pregnant at 21 while she was in college??? Sure, I was old enough to go out and get my own protection at that point, but I was scared. Abortion was out of the question because of my upbringing. Also because of my upbringing my thought process was somewhat skewed concerning birth control protection. I thought when I had sex outside of marriage I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing anyway and if I got pregnant doing what I wasn't supposed to do, then that was my punishment. It took me moving away from my mother and gathering my own thoughts to finally have a completely different mindset from my mother. The way I thought about these things way back in the day is not how I think about them now.

Last edited by Twinkle Toes; 12-24-2007 at 05:34 PM.. Reason: Felt I needed to expound on the first paragraph.
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Old 12-24-2007, 09:01 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,988,379 times
Reputation: 8014
Quote:
Originally Posted by puffle View Post
I don't understand all the "Christian" comments? Is this presuming that other religions don't care about their children and don't have good family values? It's about good parenting. I don't know what I personally would do until it actually happens. I would rather he be protected which is something we have discussed for years.
I see what you mean. I guess I was just pointing out that I have Christian beliefs which are against sex before marriage. Obviously it doesn't mean that people of other faiths don't have good family values...
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:35 AM
 
2,141 posts, read 7,038,656 times
Reputation: 1248
I don't know any parents that want their 16 year old kids to have sex. I also don't know of any 16 year old kids that have had sex, talked to their parents and then stopped having sex. If a 16 year old asks his or her parents to buy them condoms, then they are pretty close to having sex, if they haven't already. My main focus at that point would be to do everything possible to avoid a pregnancy. I went to a Christian high school years ago and we had 3 girls get pregnant and kicked out. And religion was taught every day for 4 years. It was a very religious school. Sometimes religion can't combat hormones. So in that case, I'm all for birth control.
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Old 12-25-2007, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Camberville
11,397 posts, read 16,003,306 times
Reputation: 18050
I'm glad my parents instilled in me the value that waiting for marriage is a ridiculous concept. In doing so, I was well prepared to face the world of teenage boys like a woman on a mission. Interestingly enough, I was 17 before I had sex (way above the average age... and with 2 forms of birth control to boot until I asked my mom for the pill- and then it was 3 forms!) and my brother is 18 and is waiting until he goes to college. It seems that the stricter my friends' parents were, the younger and more promiscuous they were when they had sex. Coming from an absintence-only school in the deep South where few parents seemed to talk about sex other than to tell their kids not to do it, I kept condoms in my back pack to give to friends who I knew would have unsafe sex otherwise. However, I would never have dreamed to ask my parents for condoms- if you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to get them yourself! To my knowledge, there is no age limit for who they sell them too. The pill is a bit different because you have to make a doctor's appointment and it goes on insurance, so I had no problem asking me mom for that and I pay for it myself.

Not all kids are hormone crazed lunatics looking to hump like rabbits but hey, there is that sector of the population. The best values you can instill in your children is to be safe. Even if your religion strictly prohibits sex before marriage, understand that your children may not agree with you on this virtue and that regardless, they need to be armed with the information to be safe. Even if the information is not something they have to use until they are married, teenagers talk and all of the GOOD advice on birth control and protection against STDs that you share with them will go on to their friends. It's absolutely horrifying what some kids think will protect them and the more good information that's out there, the better everyone will be protected.

Also, whether or not you know if your daughters are having sex, take them to get pap exams at 18. That's the general age you should start your yearly exams anyway- especially if you are sexually active. Not only does the exam screen for abnormalities that could occur even if you are not sexually active, but it also tests for STDs. Most teenagers are not going to even think to get tested themselves. In any case, it's a good habit to start early as most women are even worse about getting paps done than they are getting mammograms!
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Old 12-25-2007, 09:16 AM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,886,268 times
Reputation: 4890
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I'm glad my parents instilled in me the value that waiting for marriage is a ridiculous concept. In doing so, I was well prepared to face the world of teenage boys like a woman on a mission. Interestingly enough, I was 17 before I had sex (way above the average age... and with 2 forms of birth control to boot until I asked my mom for the pill- and then it was 3 forms!) and my brother is 18 and is waiting until he goes to college. It seems that the stricter my friends' parents were, the younger and more promiscuous they were when they had sex. Coming from an absintence-only school in the deep South where few parents seemed to talk about sex other than to tell their kids not to do it, I kept condoms in my back pack to give to friends who I knew would have unsafe sex otherwise. However, I would never have dreamed to ask my parents for condoms- if you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to get them yourself! To my knowledge, there is no age limit for who they sell them too. The pill is a bit different because you have to make a doctor's appointment and it goes on insurance, so I had no problem asking me mom for that and I pay for it myself.

Not all kids are hormone crazed lunatics looking to hump like rabbits but hey, there is that sector of the population. The best values you can instill in your children is to be safe. Even if your religion strictly prohibits sex before marriage, understand that your children may not agree with you on this virtue and that regardless, they need to be armed with the information to be safe. Even if the information is not something they have to use until they are married, teenagers talk and all of the GOOD advice on birth control and protection against STDs that you share with them will go on to their friends. It's absolutely horrifying what some kids think will protect them and the more good information that's out there, the better everyone will be protected.

Also, whether or not you know if your daughters are having sex, take them to get pap exams at 18. That's the general age you should start your yearly exams anyway- especially if you are sexually active. Not only does the exam screen for abnormalities that could occur even if you are not sexually active, but it also tests for STDs. Most teenagers are not going to even think to get tested themselves. In any case, it's a good habit to start early as most women are even worse about getting paps done than they are getting mammograms!
I deeply respect what charolastra00,Lisak64 and Twinkle Toes have shared with us. Very personal and very wise. I was hesitant to share about the girls I knew that went to an all girls religious school to avoid "boys" which usually backfired big time. It's true about the more you push the more your kids will pull away and not listen. Lots of discussion, a feeling of not being judged, and knowing you will love them no matter what is the best you can do...then it's up to them to make the right choices including buying protection.
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,535 posts, read 35,657,884 times
Reputation: 13133
I should have added this to my earlier post, but I didn't think to do it until just now.

When I had my son at 21, I loved him so very much. he was so precious to me, yet I believed that he was a "punishment" to me for doing something I shouldn't have done. I loved him so much and it took me a few years to realize that he was not a punishment at all, but a natural consequence of having sex without birth control. I consider him a BLESSING and I would not trade him for anything on this Earth! Yes, my mom loves him too. She's kind of chilled out a little over the years but will make some odd comments to my sons occasionally - but they know what to take with a grain of salt and what's right on.
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Old 12-25-2007, 03:36 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,011,778 times
Reputation: 64014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I should have added this to my earlier post, but I didn't think to do it until just now.

When I had my son at 21, I loved him so very much. he was so precious to me, yet I believed that he was a "punishment" to me for doing something I shouldn't have done. I loved him so much and it took me a few years to realize that he was not a punishment at all, but a natural consequence of having sex without birth control. I consider him a BLESSING and I would not trade him for anything on this Earth! Yes, my mom loves him too. She's kind of chilled out a little over the years but will make some odd comments to my sons occasionally - but they know what to take with a grain of salt and what's right on.
I'm glad you no longer have those awful thoughts. What a waste of time to believe your child was a "punishment" to you. How old is your son?
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Old 12-25-2007, 03:55 PM
 
Location: West 'Burbs of Chicago
1,216 posts, read 5,042,051 times
Reputation: 442
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingtohouston View Post
First we would have a very long talk about it. Then I would have my husband go out and buy them for him. Nothing I say is going to stop him from doing it and forbidding him from seeing the girl isn't going to work either. I guess I would rather him be protected and me not a grandmother at 35.
We feel the same way. Granted, we do not feel our children should be having sex at a young age ... but if they are going to do it, we'd rather them be protected.

People we grew up with, the girl got PG at 18, married and had her daughter at 19 ... .they had a disastrous 19 yr marriage ... so we use them as an example as to WHY not to get pregnant at this age. Granted, not everyone would have a disastrous marriage .... but the shot gun wedding is not always the best way to start married life together.

Quote:
Trust me, if the parents are extremely strict and impose religious values and restrictions on their children, those children are gonna rebel - BIG TIME.
I can attest to this. My youngest son's first GF was this way. Very religious parents, and boy did this girl rebel.

If my kids are having sex, i'd rather them be safe than sorry.... i certainly do not want to be a grandmother at this age.
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