Your kids First Time!!! (baby, son, married, classes)

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by zonababe

I'm glad you no longer have those awful thoughts. What a waste of time to believe your child was a "punishment" to you. How old is your son?

He's 22. He's just wonderful and is not only a loving son but a very good friend (and dance partner!) as well.

[collected_eve]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Trust me, if the parents are extremely strict and impose religious values and restrictions on their children, those children are gonna rebel - BIG TIME. I came from a home where my mom practically beat us up with her Bible. While we have Christian values of our own, my brothers and I got into different forms of mischief that perhaps we would not have gotten into had it not been so strict and religious in our house.

There is a nice line between "Bible thumping" & teaching your children Christian values.
I was raised in a Southern Baptist family & we lived in the house next door to the church. We went to church every Wednesday & Sunday.
There was a point in my teens where I was burnt out & did my share of rebeling. BUT I do believe that I would have rebeled & done alot worse things had my parents not raised me the way that they did.
My parents were not too pushy or strict. They let me be myself, but there were boundaries.
And as far as sex is concerned, the choices that I made as a teenager were definately swayed by the church & my parents teachings. And I had plenty of opportunity to make different choices!

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by crystalblue

dang, forgot to add the option, buy it for both

oh well, use other for that!

Which "other"? There's one for gal & 1 for guy.

I have 2 kids.. my son always knew that he needed to be protected. When he 1st started working at Burger King at 14 he didn't make a lot of money so we bought them. I knew where he kept them and if I saw he was low or they were old, we'd buy more, throw out the old ones. I'm not sure at what age he started using them.. we're talking almost 10 years ago. So far he hasn't made me a grandmother so what ever I did worked.

My daughter is 14, and it's getting to be that time (the talk) for her. I'm not sure what route I'll take but have to deal with this in early 2008. I would rather she be protected though.. and realistically, I can't watch over her 24/7.

[RoaminRed]

Originally Posted by crystalblue

If you had/have a loving trusting relationship with your child, and you tell them they can talk to you about anything, how would you respond when they come up to you at 16 and ask you to buy them some condoms cause they feel the time has come?

Would it change based on whether it was a son or daughter?

I've been here with both of my kids. I hugged them both, thanked them for trusting me enough to come to me about it, and took them to get what they needed. As a result, they're both happy healthy adults.

[pirate girl]

I am so glad to see that most of the posters here realize that all the preaching in the world won't prevent teens from having sex and that they are willing to help their kids to get what they need to have safe sex.

My son is 14 and I've been on the fence about providing him with condoms. However, reading the words of other mothers who have either been there or are struggling with the same questions I have, I believe the best thing I can do is talk to him and teach him right from wrong- but also make sure he is protected the best that I possibly can.

Thank you everyone.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by pirate girl

I am so glad to see that most of the posters here realize that all the preaching in the world won't prevent teens from having sex and that they are willing to help their kids to get what they need to have safe sex.

My son is 14 and I've been on the fence about providing him with condoms. However, reading the words of other mothers who have either been there or are struggling with the same questions I have, I believe the best thing I can do is talk to him and teach him right from wrong- but also make sure he is protected the best that I possibly can.

Thank you everyone.

Remember to stress that the condoms aren't only for pregnancy. After thinking about it, I will include STD's when I talk to my daughter and provide her with some condoms too.

Ugg..

[crystalblue]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

Remember to stress that the condoms aren't only for pregnancy. After thinking about it, I will include STD's when I talk to my daughter and provide her with some condoms too.

Ugg..

ive always thought, show em some pics of what happens when you get some of the grosser diseases, that might scare em off some...

[djacques]

I'd buy for both. That wasn't an option so I chose "make them buy their own".

[Liberty53000]

Originally Posted by crystalblue

ive always thought, show em some pics of what happens when you get some of the grosser diseases, that might scare em off some...

That DOES actually work xD
Also, (some parents might want to read this) HIV really is more common than you think - at one of the highschools in the town I live in, they had a blood drive where 100 students gave blood, and 17 of them were HIV positive. So make sure that your kids know that STD's are NOT hard to get.
I'm a junior in highschool, and I haven't had sex yet - when my mom had "the talk" with me, it was pretty simple - not too detailed or anything. But she did say that if I had any questions or if I wanted someone to talk to, that she'd be willing to listen, and stuff like that.
She never said "DON'T HAVE SEX OR YOU'LL BE IN TROUBLE!" Which makes me glad, because now I know that if I ever want birth control or anything, I can go ask her without being yelled at or grounded, which I also think, makes it easier for me to NOT keep secrets from her.

[Liberty53000]

Oh, and also (sorry, forgot to include this in my other post), I think it's great that I know I can turn to my mom for stuff like this - I'd HATE to be a teenage girl going to the guidance counselor at school or going to somebody else's mom if something happened (like if I got pregnant or something).